to not have exh and exfil for christmas this year?

[spookshowangel]

since my h and i broke up we have had 2 Christmases, for the children and for my ex and fil i continued to have them up here for christmas day. to open the pressies and dinner etc. it was a bit awkward and it meant the kids had to wait in the morning to open their pressies till their dad got here, (he lives with fil). i didnt like to think of them down at his fil on christmas day missing all the fun, watching the queens speech eating a dry turkey.
i realised last christmas that it was actually something i was dreading, i didnt want them there and it was spoiling my enjoyment of the day. this year i have a new man and am pregnant and i know the kids will want their dad up again for the day, he has all ready asked me what the plan is.
aibu to say not this year i want my first christmas with new guy to be just us, but you can take the kids on boxing day or is that pretty selfish? new bf has already expressed a wish for him not to be there on the day. what do you all think?

My DH spent the first christmas with his mum in 25 years this year.. when they split up they asked him what he wanted to do and as he lived full time with his mum he thought christmas should be with his dad.

Aternating christmas is shitty but you have to be the grown up.

Not sure if I have missed this somewhere in the thread, but why can't your dcs spend xmas eve, and xmas day until 3/4pm with you, and then go to dads for the rest of xmas day and boxing day?
Dad might find it easier on him if they have xmas lounch with you, as then there's no major pressure to do a huge xmas lunch, etc. And he can provide tea for them in the evening? I think that sounds fair. But my point of view is coming from growing up with a single mum and only sometimes seeing my dad on Xmas day to receive a card and money. It was mum who made the huge xmas effort, so I think if i'd been given the choice, i still wouldve chosen to spend the day with my mum, and GPs, aunty and cousin, as always. So i do know how you must be feeling, thinking about not having your DCs at Xmas, selfish or not...

Me and my exh have always alternated it. My son has xmas day morning with one parent and xmas dinner onwards with the other parent. It's what we've always done and it suits us, so i suppose it's whatever you're comfortable with. I do think it's a lot of fuss just for one day, i feel like cancelling it sometimes, just can't be doing with all the hassle.

when my parents split up when i was young, i spent most christmas days with my dad (my preference) who put loads of effort into the day tree, decorations, food, pressies (all of which were never up to my mother's standard as it all came from the pound shop or carboots but not once did i care i loved christmas day with him :)) however on the years i wasn't with him he never bothered even putting a tree up. spookshowangel have you thought that maybe your ex doesn't make an effort at christmas as he just hasn't been given the oppurtunity or he feels there is no point as the children aren't there.

I don't think YABU as to offer Boxing Day however I only agree with this if you offer alternative days next year meaning you get them Boxing Day and your ex has them Christmas Day.

Alternate....the only way I would entertain my ex on xmas day would be seved up on a platter with an apple shoved in his gob and a parsnip up his arse. Sorry...did I say that out loud? :o

What do you expect a child to say when you ask them what parent they want to spend Christmas with? You were being unreasonable just by putting your child in the position of asking them that!

You got the stock I don't want to upset the person asking me response.