my 14 DS doesn't wash, eat or go out.

[Limara]

The only way we can get him to wash is to threaten him. If we didn't threaten him with losing is PS3, telly or computer etc, he wouldn't. The reason we persist is because we know it will make him feel better and it saves our cushions from his greasy hair.

We ran out of cereal this morning so instead of making toast or a sandwich throughout the day, he ate nothing.

He doesn't like to go out because his mates just ride around going 'nowhere' and he finds it boring.

AIBU to find his behaviour odd? Yeah, I know he's a teen but let me know what you think.

wk, that is not fair

we are talking about a teenager with problems

we could just as easily be talking about a girl (my own female teenager is not very far from the scenario here)

you are on the wrong track here, here

give me a 22 yr old with the same scenario, my responses would be very different

a 14 yo is a kid

oh dear, I have a 9 year old DS who hates washing and cleaning his teeth, whereas his two older sisters at that age were fine.sounds like he's only going to get worse!

Sorry just skimmed through this thread and I'm a bit tired so will be brief. Sorry if I've missed something.

I was like this at 14. I was really depressed at the time although I would say these not taking care of myself symptoms were mostly due to laziness.

I got over it and went to college, got a job and learned that life was easier and more fun if you don't stink. My mum told me in horror that I stank like a pig once. That didn't help my self esteem at all so don't do that. Be gentle but firm. Buy him some nice shampoo and bodywash (his idea of nice) and maybe get someone else in the family like an aunt he's close to, to very good naturedly suggest he has a bit of a clean up.

I got much better by 17 and then wouldn't be seen dead not looking my best.

I got a bout of even worse depression at about 22 and it never even occurred to me to turn into Oscar the Grouch again.

So maybe he is depressed and has low self esteem and sees these tasks as 'pointless'. Or maybe he's perfectly happy and just a bit lazy. Either way, I'd say it looks like he'll grow out of it. In a year or so.

Apologies for rambling. I'm really tired and trying to keep my eyes open.

I went out with a guy ages ago and dumped him, he was a dirty fucker.

His idea of washing was to have a bath on a Sunday night and lie in it, thinking it dirt would fall off. As for brushing his teeth, be believed through adverts that chewing gum was better that toothpaste.

Hence he was dumped after two weeks.

If my boy was like that then I would treat him like a child and give him a reward chart. Only when he earned all his starts by brushing his teeth, washing, changing his clothes, etc would he then get his xbox.

This lad is 14, bisc!

He sounds like mine was at 14, didn't like washing, didn't go out, would eat if you made him food but realy couldn't be arsed to make it himself. Didn't change his pants/socks unless you put clean ones in front of him.

He's 16 now and doesnt have to be pushed anymore into washing/showering has more toiletries than me irons his own clothes incase I don't do it right, goes out alot more, and even cooks proper meals.

He was never depressed, wasn't bullied, had lots of friends, didn't hate school, he was just a lazy smelly teenage boy

I had the great good luck to never have to ask any of mine to wash daily once they got to age 10 (youngest now at that point). Their teachers at that stage had a name and shame policy wrt BO and insisted on daily washing and deodorant use. None of them would dare going to school smelly to face the withering sarcasm or outright wrath of Ms W or Mrs A, and the habit born of fear stuck. DS washed daily and ate enough for two or three from then until he left for university (where he is probably still at it).

Do you want my DS15 as well? You could have a matching pair then!

Hi, just looked at the thread again so sorry for not responding....
Saggy, no, I don't want another one tar!
Maryz, thank you for being so supportive. I do think he errs on the side of depression, I think it runs in the family, i'm not depressed but in the past have been.
Mathanxiery, he did stop taking them the week before.
x

Finally, after 4y, DD1 says 'I get bored in the holidays and it's wasted if I don't plan what I want to do' 'I feel better if I have a bath' and 'I really prefer clean-tasting food' (she means veg, salad) 'I love doing carboot sales, it's amazing how much £ I can make from my old toys' 'I used to be addicted to Sims, FB and iplayer - I needed someone to switch off - I'm going to warn younger children about internet addiction'.

Health implications: she has given herself chronic blepharitis, which needs daily treatment for ever.

Best incentive has been the money-earning and friends telling her she stinks.