my 14 DS doesn't wash, eat or go out.

[Limara]

The only way we can get him to wash is to threaten him. If we didn't threaten him with losing is PS3, telly or computer etc, he wouldn't. The reason we persist is because we know it will make him feel better and it saves our cushions from his greasy hair.

We ran out of cereal this morning so instead of making toast or a sandwich throughout the day, he ate nothing.

He doesn't like to go out because his mates just ride around going 'nowhere' and he finds it boring.

AIBU to find his behaviour odd? Yeah, I know he's a teen but let me know what you think.

You need to be seen by child psychiatrist because of possible depression and medication rather than a mental health nurse. GP can write a referral to that effect so you don't go round in circles. Re-referrals usually seen earlier than new referrals.

Could PM you later if you want. Have to go out now.

mitmoo, your posts are very supportive

limara, your ds needs a proper assessment, love x

I do think a lot of teens are like this to varying degrees - Ds1 is just turned 13 and doesnt wash or brush his teeth every day, doesn't go out much and when he's here on his own will only eat snacks, or cereal - he won't cook for himself ever (not even using the microwave) although he will if really desperate use the toaster. if theres no snacks or cereal he won't eat during the day. He goes out to the cinema, or to a friends house, or to the sports centre to play football, but not other than that. He also does well at school (even though he makes minimal effort).

Given what you say re your DS's behaviour at school, as well as all the other studd, it's possible there may be a deeper issue, and agree with those who've said seek a referral from your GP, or help from CAMHS etc.

stuff sorry

Mitmoo - Thanks. I have to say, from an AIBU about something moany, It's come back round to the same old same old and I do feel quite upset. CAHMS were shite. In a room, me or DH and DS with nurse saying there isn't a problem. His school has said if he acts the way he normally does in year 10 this September, he'll be excluded......

It was my perseverance that eventually got him a Thyroid diagnoses and he has cholesterol and takes Statins(Hypercholesterolemia) He is SO SO SKINNY!

so sorry, limara, I can understand the "going round in circles" feeling

although AIBU is not the best place for support, tbh

Side effects of thyroxine. Ring a bell?

I think you should get an assessment done by a teen psychiatric specialist though, tbh.

Anyfucker, na, I'll repost in the mental thread/topic/department lol. I can have chats wiv all them mental peeps Before anyone gets all tetchy, I am mental too!

good luck, limara, I don't think I can help you any more, but I do wish you well

I am on 100mcg of thyroxine daily

are there any side effects ? < serious question >

Anyfucker, 'I don't think I can help you any more?' babysitting/lend us a fiver?!

mathanxiety - I had a quick scan through through..... He was even more tired, confused before starting Thyroxine. Thanks though. x

Sounds like my DS to be honest (14 next month). If he does go out, he's back in within 20 mins because he's "bored".

He showers daily during term time though, which I suppose is a blessing but during the holidays he wouldn't wash at all if I didn't bribe/threaten him into it! .

Ds1 (14) rarely goes out unless for something specific. He always has loads of mates calling for him and he says to them "nah I can't be bothered to go out".

He does shower every day though so I should be thankful for something! Even if he doesn't get in the shower till lunchtime..

My Ds claims he doesn't wash every day because it's too much hassle to run a bath . Am hoping when the shower is eventually installed he may become better acquainted with the soap :)

I thought it sounded like he was depressed on reading the OP. However I dont yet have teenagers so I'm willing to admit I'm not an expert on what is typical behaviour for a teen

I cannot imagine for the life of me what your houses must smell like (no offence meant there) but teenage boys smell like yaks even when they wash every day.

My DS - also 14 - only washes every day because I nag the hell out of him and threaten to disconnect the Xbox live connection - and then it usually takes till lunch time.

He also hardly ever goes out in the holiday, apart from to his best friends house - where he and friend sit blankly staring at the tv screen playing the xbox. He doesn't like hanging around the park or wandering the streets like some of his friends do, so generally turns them down whenever they call on him to come out with them.

However, when it is term time he makes sure he gets up early enough to have a shower and wash/style/straighten his hair properly and half drown himself in aftershave before he leaves. I think he fancies someone

A lot of 14 year olds are like this. DD3 is 19 now and often gies out with friends. But at 14 she hardly ever went out.

When was his last thyroxin levels taken? Does He actually take the tabelets? I am just wondering if he is still hypothyroid?

If he isn't taking the tablets at regular intervals he should be.

erm, is it me? In the Relationships section, the AIBU section and the Feminist section we get no end of posts about men who can't look after themselves, expect their womenfolk to do everything for them and so on and so on and so on. And you, good women, are bringing up the next generation of men to be unable to look after themselves, and expect their womenfolk to do everything for them. Go figure.

So your son won't wash? INSIST. Your son won't eat? INSIST. And OMG, don't provide room service. What are you THINKING??

And yes, I have a son. And no, he didn't always see showering as the most important thing in his life. But I saw bringing him up to be a real man as one of the most important things in my life.