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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think my mil has blatantly lied to me?

104 replies

Piggyleroux · 25/08/2011 17:31

Got a parcel today from my mil. Inside were two camisole tops. I looked at the labels which said, F+F and Cherokee.

I phoned her to thank her and asked her where she got them from. She said Debenhams.

I googled F+F and Cherokee and they are Tesco brands.

I sniffed them and they smelt distinctly like charity shop clothes. I buy a lot of clothes from charity shops so i know the smell iyswim.

Why did she lie? Aibu to be a bit pissed off that she lied? She knows I buy things from charity shops and would never have a problem with it.

Hmph.

OP posts:

CurrySpice · 25/08/2011 23:43

Perhaps she knows you're a bit of a snob fussy and panicked when you asked her rudely

upahill · 25/08/2011 23:47

Poor MIL was hoist on her cheapo petard and had to turn on a sixpence. Now you could really make her squirm by saying next time you see her 'Do you know, I have searched Debenhams for this amazing 'Cherokee' brand but I simply cannot find it! Did you get it wrong - it wasn't John Lewis or perhaps Selfridges instead?'

Why be a fucking nasty bitch to people?

It was a spur of the moment gift by the sound of it,something she didn't have to do but did out of kindness.

Sorry Op but but you are being a nasty cow as well.
Were is your gracious spirit?

I'm sure MIL would be hurt by this thread, I know I would be.

Serenitysutton · 26/08/2011 07:44

Pmsl reminds me of my MIL, she thinks debenhams is a posh shop too.

Fwiw you can prob get a camesole for a similar price in debs as tesco, they're only cheap no matter where you get them.

It was nice though, how can you be annoyed when you think of her going off to the post office and packaging them up for you? That's lovely

seeker · 26/08/2011 07:47

Debenhams is a posh shop!

Serenitysutton · 26/08/2011 07:54

No it's not, it's a high street department store. They sold jane Norman, for goodness sake! :(

youarekidding · 26/08/2011 08:02

I would be annoyed at being lied too. I also don't see why asking where they came from is rude - it's showing an interest.

I would have said something along the lines of shouty example above.

I do however think your slightly wierd OP in being able to small if clothes are chairty shop or not ( and I buy from there) and would even say your wierd smelling them but will give you the benefit of the doubt as it seems to be after the lie!

Maybe MIL knows you buy from charity shops and when you asked her felt a little embarassed. Perhaps she knows money is tight for you and tried to do something nice but didn't want to feel that she feels your not worth more than charity clothes iyswim?

I'd say let it go.

woollyideas · 26/08/2011 08:09

Debenhams is a shit shop, selling mass-produced, poorly-made rubbish masquerading as 'designer', eg. Jasper Conran handbags which are probably made by children in China, John Rocha blouses which are probably made by children in India etc. etc.

Just thought I'd get that in because I hate the pretentious place.

woollyideas · 26/08/2011 08:10

...oh yeah, and they still sell painted twigs.

MrsRobertDuvall · 26/08/2011 08:36

Does your MIL regularly send gift op?
2 camisoles is an odd thing to buy IMO.
I wouldn't dream of buying a relative random items of clothing ( but then I do not buy relatives gifts anyway!)

southmum · 26/08/2011 08:45

Why not just google it in the first place if you are that bothered about where she got them? Or did it make you feel all high and mighty to catch her out in a little white lie?

Serenitysutton · 26/08/2011 08:50

My mil is always buying me random gifts- if I say I like anything she buys it for me. This would be ok were it touché eclait, or posh shoes, but she's a cheapskate. Gifts include- a jar of pickled eggs- broken biscuits- Halloween sweet mixes (in April) it's all from the pound shop or charity shop. Charity shop stuff does smell, as do the shops themselves. Easily washable though!

ShatnersBassoon · 26/08/2011 08:50

There are two reasons for telling you they were from Debenhams:

She got mixed up with shop names
She was embarrassed to tell you they came from a charity shop in case you thought she was cheap/ you wouldn't want them if you found out they were second hand.

You can't be cross with someone for either of the above reasons, so cut her some slack. You like the tops so stop Miss Marpling about things that don't matter. I'd be really pleased if my MIL sent me a gift 'just because'.

ShoutyHamster · 26/08/2011 09:00

Only JOKING upahill - god God, of course the OP wouldn't say that.

I'm having trouble working out whether this is a fairly lighthearted thread or not, obviously

My Gran was always doing things like this. It WAS annoying when she would blatantly lie to your face for no particualr reason other than to make out she had spent lots of money on you/gone out of her way to help you etc. BUT it was of course generous for her to have the urge to do these things, as well as being funny.

'I knew you use a lot of them, so I went across and got some eggs for you before we came over'

'But Mam these are out of date! Are they yours out of the fridge? You HAVE to throw them out, don't pass them on to people, they'll make you ill!'

'No! I would never do that! how could you think such a thing, I went out to the Co-op at 6am to get you the very best...'

Very funny. OP, I am sure that at heart you feel the same mix of love and frustration at your MIL. I laughed when I read your OP and thought instantly of my Gran and her crazy presents.

diddl · 26/08/2011 09:26

Why did you ask where they are from when the have labels on?

Perhaps she said Debenhams to be funny?

sue52 · 26/08/2011 09:33

You are BVVU to say that charity shops sell smelly clothes. I volunteer in a charity shop. All items sold are freshly washed and pressed. Your MIL does sound a bit odd though.

diddl · 26/08/2011 09:40

OP-why would youir first thought be that she had lied, rather than made a mistake?

gorionine · 26/08/2011 09:45

The reason I'm pissed off is because she lied to me as if she thought I was totally stupid and wouldn't realise where they came from. I don't think I'm being ungrateful at all. I was peased to receive a gift, however, I don't think she should lie about where it came from.

I think maybe you put her in a position where she did not have anyother choice but liying? Maybe she has money troubles and can only afford charity shops but does not want you to know?

Also there is liying and liying, in the context of OP, it could just be a mistake.

I think you are either really mean or have far too much time on your hands OP, once you had asked her did you really need to double check on google? or if you Googled first, why did you still ask her?

seeker · 26/08/2011 10:43

It'S not lying Ffs! At worst it's a face saving fib. And if I thought that a friend or relation googled the label of a present I gave them then that would be the last present they ever got from me!

TheFlyingOnion · 26/08/2011 10:47

Get. Over. It.

honeyandsalt · 26/08/2011 10:58

OP if this is the thing that's narking you off most in your life right now, you're doing well!

As others have said either she was simply absent-minded, or you embarrassed her. Lie of the century? Unless there was some motivation like it was so she could whinge about how much she does for you, and you have mentioned nothing of the sort, I don't think so.

In any case if you find a way of turning this random act of kindness into a row about a "lie" you are the biggest twunt going. Have a little dignity and grace, don't be so ruddy petty, wash the damn tops and wear one next time you see her with a nice big cheeser on your face. Seriously.

honeyandsalt · 26/08/2011 11:16

Awaiting the next AIBU thread:

"So, the other week I was in a second-hand shop and saw some lovely camis that I thought would suit my DIL so I bought them for her and posted them. She rang and asked me where they were from, I thought she meant the brand and said "Debenhams" (which is what I thought they were).

She rang me back 10 minutes later to say she had looked it up on the internet, they were Tescos and I had "lied" to her and she was furious!

I'm stunned by her rudeness and, frankly, her ingratitude. That's the last time I ever buy her a random gift! AIBU?"

lazarusb · 26/08/2011 11:33

I think you're just trying to cause some tension between you when there doesn't need to be any. Have you been reading too many 'My MIL is a nightmare' threads on MN and felt left out? My dcs and I come a long way down on my MILs list but I don't let it worry me - my life is full in other ways.

ShoutyHamster · 26/08/2011 12:01

maybe ring her and say in a soothing voice 'I know they came from Tescos, MIL - but please don't give it a second thought, my life is full in other ways :)

ShoutyHamster · 26/08/2011 12:01

that was a joke too btw

porcamiseria · 26/08/2011 13:02

sorry to jump in, but YABU, and ungrateful

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