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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think justice served on the Mum of Disabled Child in Revenge Attack

256 replies

Mitmoo · 23/08/2011 08:42

Thanks to milkmilk for posting this on a different thread but it has got lost.

The mother of a disabled child who plotted a revenge attack on a poster who launched attacks on a disabled child via the internet found not guilty.

DM but that doesn't matter - it's an important article.

A mother who joined a revenge attack on a man responsible for a vile campaign of internet abuse against her disabled daughter has been spared prison.

Sylvia Hooper, 52, was described as a ?decent and law-abiding? woman who dedicated her life to her seriously ill daughter Kim Arnold. But she snapped after looking on helplessly as a cowardly bully sent her a series of appalling comments via Facebook.

One labelled her a cripple and said the wheelchair user should be left to ?roll down a hill.?

Another message read: ?Your mother should have had an abortion. She only had you because she felt sorry for you.?

Mr Hooper, 19, punched the bully after his mother said ?hit him? and Berwick was then taken back to the family home by car. He was forced to crawl inside and make a ?grovelling apology? to his victim while on all fours. At one point he was hit on the chin with a rolled up newspaper.

All three admitted assault but denied false imprisonment and the judge ruled that not guilty verdicts should be entered.

He said: ?I sentence you on the basis that Mr Berwick sent messages that were wholly disgraceful and shameful but then tried to put the blame on his girlfriend.?

Mrs Hooper was given a conditional discharge. The two men were given community orders which included voluntary work.

Read more: www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2028961/Judge-spares-mother-jail-plotted-attack-internet-troll-posted-horrific-comments-disabled-daughter.html#ixzz1Vpq1S3To

Precised down full article on the above link.

Good for the judge, the right decision was made.

OP posts:
AnnieLobeseder · 23/08/2011 08:44

Disgusting behaviour all round. Two wrongs don't make a right.

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere · 23/08/2011 08:45

It is a dangerous thing when people take the law into their own hands. However, I have no doubt that DH and / or I would have taken a similar approach to the person that behaved that way if we were in similar circumstances.

Mitmoo · 23/08/2011 08:50

Two wrongs might not but the law could not stop this man's vicious assaults and the Mum didn't deserve a jail sentence, nor did the son's. I am so pleased that this time the law was on the side of the victim, because the Mum and sons were victims of this sick individual.

I wonder now if the coward would still dare to taunt the disabled on line to get his kicks.

I am glad they have got no more than a token handslap on this occasion.

OP posts:
toniguy · 23/08/2011 08:51

Agree with Annie - the whole thing sounds repugnant

DoingTheBestICan · 23/08/2011 08:53

Two wrongs dont make a right,people cant go round issuing their own type of revenge.

I like to believe we are more civilised than that.

StrandedBear · 23/08/2011 08:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mitmoo · 23/08/2011 08:58

It's not something I'd do, and I have been on the receiving end of this kind of internet abuse, with sick twisted individuals calling my son a "window licker" "retard" saying I'd be glad if he died and he was a drain on the health service. My choice was to walk away not to try to track them down but they were anonymous to me as I was to them. This man knew then in RL.

BUT I also don't believe they deserve to be jailed. The law failed them, they couldn't stop this man.

It may have been better that when they found out who it was making these disgusting online attacks to out him and shame him.

Does anyone actually think jail time would have helped make society safer?

OP posts:
Mitmoo · 23/08/2011 09:00

Stranded they had been to the police who couldn't help them, so I think given that the abuser wasn't punished, the mum and son's weren't either other than a slap on the wrist.

I am totally OK with the sentence.

OP posts:
ProfessionallyOffendedGoblin · 23/08/2011 09:01

If the law had protected the initial victim, then the situation would not have escalated to the point where 'a ?decent and law-abiding? woman who dedicated her life to her seriously ill daughter Kim Arnold' felt there was no other way of ending the situation.
I'd rather the law had acted first, but it is better than some of the alternatives that people have been driven to.
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/leicestershire/8279106.stm

That is why, although revenge is wrong in a moral sense, it has also been called 'Wild Justice' I think the judge recognised the humans involved had been pushed to breaking point.

Glitterknickaz · 23/08/2011 09:06

I'm still staggered at how people don't perceive 'words on a screen' to be intensely hurtful, or the impact that can have on people.

I don't condone this woman's actions for a second but I understand them after having similar comments aimed at my children. They were just 'words on a screen' too.

Mitmoo · 23/08/2011 09:09

POG agreed. Glitterknickaz I've had the same too and it is maddening when you feel powerless to stop it from happening. The people making the posts know that it is more than "words on a page" because they are doing it for a reaction.

If I was that scumbag, I wouldn't have gone to the police as I'd have to out myself and I couldn't live with the shame of it.

Not that I'd do it of course.

OP posts:
ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 23/08/2011 09:11

Tbh I think that's the best way to deal with some people, thinking of the horrendous Fiona pilKington case, the scum making their lives hell didn't give a shit when the police were involved, the public animosity after their deaths sadly probably had more of an impact.

It's not the sort of thing I'd do, because i'm an idiot who's been brought up to always do the right thing and have faith in the police, but I can see why they were driven to their actions, to want the person who had publicly humiliated the girl to be made to feel they way they had, humiliated and scared.

Can't really condemn them to that.

ProfessionallyOffendedGoblin · 23/08/2011 09:13

Sometimes the internet is the main way that certain people with SN interface with the world as well, so it's not a s simple as saying 'Go down to the pub with your mates and forget about it' or 'Move on'
If the abuse is linked to your disabilitty, it's your life and not something you can change like a bad haircut or a failed friendship. It is corrosive.
My DS was a hitter and aggressive.
It caused me much stress and worry, but nowhere near the levels of a friend whose son with the same disability on paper who was an emotional wreck, self-harmer and driven close to the edge by random bullying from strangers and people that knew him.

Glitterknickaz · 23/08/2011 09:15

Actually would it have been preferable to some posters if the woman in the OP had done what Fiona Pilkington had done?

MumblingRagDoll · 23/08/2011 09:20

I think they were very magnanimous. If someone did similar to me, I would probably flatten them.

Mitmoo · 23/08/2011 09:21

POG again I agree, my son too has tried to commit suicide because of RL bullying both physical and emotional, the effects are devastating to some. I've had to move his schools twice, once primary and once secondary to find places where he can fit even though this is HF autistic.

He never knew about the online stuff thank goodness but if he ever read the evil that was posted, I dread to think. When it happened to me it was on a forum and I had to walk away as that was the way to take the power from the sick individual. The moderators prided themselves on letting anyone say anything they liked even if that was abusing disabled children via their mothers.

Glitter The Fiona Pilkington case was heartbreaking. How awful to have the world being such a bad place that you feel it would be better to leave it.

She was badly let down.

OP posts:
frownieface · 23/08/2011 09:24

So retribution rather than justice is fine then? OK then lets change our whole justice system to an 'eye for an eye'.

Both parties in this were at fault here, for the vile messages from him and the 'revenge attack' from them.

Why didn't she just block this person from Facebook, the police may not have been able to do anything however you can report these messages and get people banned.

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 23/08/2011 09:24

Probably. I haven't really experienced abuse towards my kids from adults tbh, have had the odd nasty Kid which I can handle.

My sister has tho, partly I think because her two are much more clearly disabled, plus she's always been a bit of a victim of bullying, twats make a beeline for people for her.

The latest incident the police got involved upon my insistence, she actually thought they couldn't do anything. They did, I think she got something pathetic like a £200 fine for the abuse she gave to my niece and other incidents.

Question is, how much do people think carers will put up with before they snap ? seems they can't win either way to me. Hmm

PonceyMcPonce · 23/08/2011 09:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Glitterknickaz · 23/08/2011 09:27

Again I reiterate the way this was dealt with wasn't appropriate but the man who caused the levels of pain this family went through should have been properly punished through the official channels.

I'll never understand why disablism isn't dealt with properly, why it is considered acceptable, and it is.

Any poster on here, I seriously challenge you to not feel terribly hurt by the kind of comments I have had about my children. That I should have terminated them... how would posters on here feel if that had been said to them? That their existence is in some way a detriment to other people's children, how would other posters here feel if that was said about their children? That they don't deserve a proper education because of their disability - something completely beyond their control again how would posters here feel if that was said about their child? That their child is a waste of resources?

It is not just words on a screen.

Mitmoo · 23/08/2011 09:28

I think this is justice frownie given that there was nothing the police could do, justice had failed the family, they took their own revenge, faced a trial and were "punished" with a conditional discharge and community service.

Apocalypse sorry to hear about your sisters experiences but glad she got justice in the end.

OP posts:
borderslass · 23/08/2011 09:29

DD2 was a victim of both cyberbullying and verbal bullying to her face all down to having a disabled brother two of the cyber bullies were my SIL and her daughter poor kid came close to a breakdown police wouldn't do SFA.

StrandedBear · 23/08/2011 09:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Glitterknickaz · 23/08/2011 09:32

Absolutely, which is why I can't condone it.
However more emphasis should be placed on the actions of the man who provoked this, it's an explanation not an excuse.

ProfessionallyOffendedGoblin · 23/08/2011 09:35

'Danny Moore, for Mr Hooper, said Berwick got a kick out of ?playing mind games with a severely disabled young lady?.
He highlighted how police told the victims there was nothing they could do and the bully was not prosecuted for sending malicious messages.'

So they tried the law, and the law was powerless.

My mate Vicarinatutu asked me why I had namechanged and was now Professionally Offended. Some of us who post regularly on the SN boards have been trying to challenge others on this site to think about their attitude and the language they use when referring to people with disabilities and their rights.
The law should be able to protect victims effectively. But it often doesn't or can't. So you either curl up and take a kicking or act. Perhaps the mother would have chosen to accept her fate as eternal target if the abuse had been directed at her, rather than her daughter.

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