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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect DH not to go round mates house to smoke weed

29 replies

firth · 20/08/2011 23:15

He promised to give up on Tuesday and tonight he near enough cant get out of the door quick enough. Should I sympathise considering he is obv addicted.

OP posts:
JazzAnnNonMouse · 20/08/2011 23:16

you can't be addicted to weed...
psychologically dependant maybe, but not addicted.

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 20/08/2011 23:16

Does he just have a toke at weekends or does he smoke it every night?

StonedRosie · 20/08/2011 23:17

Depends how often.

snippywoo2 · 20/08/2011 23:17

ge could be addicted to a lot worse

snippywoo2 · 20/08/2011 23:17

ffs he

DogsBestFriend · 20/08/2011 23:18

I'd have no sympathy and no tolerance either, especially if I had DC to consider. It would be a deal-breaker for me.

worraliberty · 20/08/2011 23:18

Why did he promise to give up?

Did he want to or do you think he feels forced to?

Original poster
firth · 20/08/2011 23:18

he wass smoking it almost daily but it was out of hand and now he has moodswings so as a result of heart to heart on tues he promised to give up for sake of family

OP posts:
FabbyChic · 20/08/2011 23:20

It can cause permanent psychological damage not unlike any drugs.

I could never be with someone who had that kind of addiction be it alcohol or drugs.

BuxomWenchOnAPony · 20/08/2011 23:22

If he knows it's a problem for you, that it is a problem for his family life, he's an idiot. 'Addiction' is a word bandied about a bit too easily these days, it's a cop out in my opinion.

snippywoo2 · 20/08/2011 23:22

sounds like he's smoking skunk if its affecting family life so you anbu

Original poster
firth · 20/08/2011 23:27

He was a smoker when I met him so its not like hes fooled me its just that I always believed him when he said he would give up in the past or at least keep it under som e sort of control. Tuesday seemed he really understood what the effect of his smoking was doing to his family and I believed him again when he said he would give up but to give up cold turkey is alot to ask but...

OP posts:
Happygomummy · 20/08/2011 23:31

YANBU. Especially if DC involved.

Btw the comment stating you cannot be addicted is shite. Pls ignore.

maras2 · 20/08/2011 23:32

I've had to bury a son in law, watch his brother make a mess of his life and have just learned that another very close relative is spending a fortune, which he doesn't have on that shit.I would have it regraded back to Cat A. but not sure if thes is just knee- jerk.I so hate the stuff.

Fatshionista · 20/08/2011 23:35

YANBU and I don't have an issue with occasional smokers.

Original poster
firth · 20/08/2011 23:37

When I first me him he was smoking solid now it is green and now it is stronger - from what i can tell re how it affects him. Anyway do I instigate yet another argument or let this go as it is only early days. I really do what to see him off it

OP posts:
buzzsore · 20/08/2011 23:40

Why would you let it go?

If he's agreed to be give up, he should be giving up.

BuxomWenchOnAPony · 20/08/2011 23:42

Don't let it go. He has acknowledged that his smoking is a problem for your family. Whether or not he regard it as a problem to himself, that it is a problem for you and you dc should be enough of a reason to stop it.

To say it is an addiction does not excuse it. It might mean he needs outside support to stop, it doesn't mean he can't.

Original poster
firth · 20/08/2011 23:42

I would let it go because to go cold turkey is asking alot isnt it. Buzzsore my head tells me one thing and my heart tells me another.

OP posts:
buzzsore · 20/08/2011 23:45

No, it's not... Pot is not physically addictive, it can be psychologically, but not physically, afaik. So it's not a case of cold turkey, because there are no withdrawal symptoms like with heroin or even alcohol.

maras2 · 20/08/2011 23:47

Jaz, you are so wrong.Sorry to sound rude but I've 1st. hand experience of dope addiction (read previous post ) and it does exist.I say again I realy hate that stuff.It's not clever,it's not funny.IT KILLS.

Original poster
firth · 20/08/2011 23:48

Ok I got it h! will just have to give up and overcome the irritable anxious state that he gets in when he cant have a jointQ

OP posts:
buzzsore · 20/08/2011 23:54

You could ask him to seek help through his GP or Narcotics Anonymous, that sort of thing. You could look at the government's 'Talk to Frank' website.

Irritability isn't necessarily about lack of pot, but could be plain resentment about not doing what he wants to. Or nicotine withdrawal.

LadyBeagleEyes · 21/08/2011 00:06

I agree with Buzz. I still have a smoke sometimes, it's nice, it's pleasant and when it's gone I think nothing of it.
To stop is not cold turkey, but if it's a factor in your relationship you need to discuss it.
IMO it's the same as your partner coming home after having a few drinks, the only difference being, that alcohol is legal.
And maras, I've also had 1st hand experience, and believe me, a couple of joints at the weekend IMO is less harmful than alcohol.

worraliberty · 21/08/2011 00:18

Totally agree with LadyBeagleEyes

IMO it is way less harmful than alcohol

However, some people rely on a buzz...be it from alcohol or a joint and that's when problems can start.

Feeling unable to go without any kind of 'buzz' is not good.