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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder why some sonographers are so tactless?

126 replies

nosexpleaseimpregnant · 20/08/2011 10:44

I've been mulling this over for the past couple of weeks now and I was just wondering if anybody else has had a bad experience when having a scan?
Almost 2 weeks ago we went for the dating scan, booked by the antenatal team based on dates from an early pegnancy scan. Whilst me and OH were quite happy/excited to see what we have made the sonographer started mumbling that baby seemed small and she couldn't make it more than 11 weeks. She turned to us and said 'baby's a bit small. Did you consent to the downs screening?'. At which point me and OH looked at each other with a WTF? look. She merrily returned to scanning my stomach and OH blurted out....'Is there something wrong?' to which she said 'No I was just making sure you had handed the form in'
She asked me to go out and drink some more water to see if she could improve the scan and then, whilst sitting staring at my drink thinking the worst she came out and said 'ok I figured it out. The early pregnancy scan showed you were 5w+ 6 days. We've documented it as 6w+ 5 days. Panic over. But you'll need to come back next week as you are only 11w+0'
I didn't know whether I was more relieved or pissed off at the general lack of consideration shown to us in the first place!!
Any other bad experiences out there?

OP posts:
downawell · 21/08/2011 00:13

I know A1980 isn't a sonographer and so can't speak for them, but I have to say I disagree with her argument. I don't think it's acceptable for sonographers not to care about the unborn babies they are scanning, and to see their work as "just a job". Obviously they are not doctors (so no Hippocratic Oath), but surely they are supposed to work within some kind of caring framework? To give a nod to some kind of bottom-line moral responsibility? It surely shouldn't be just a case of slamming through the workload as quickly as possible in order to get the paycheck. They are dealing with human beings - and at a very vulnerable time for them - not widgets on a production line.

Even if they are not expected to give a damn about patients in their role as HCPs, surely as members of society, an unborn baby is something worthy of care and concern, and so they should treat the baby with respect for that reason alone?

Tanith · 21/08/2011 00:19

This is a nice story, which I'm sure I've shared before, but no matter (have been open-mouthed in horror at some of those on this thread Sad Angry).

I had my second scan with DS. At the time, my DF was dying of cancer and we didn't know precisely how long he had to live. Not long, we knew that.
We also knew that he really wanted to know if his grandchild would be a girl or a boy, in case he didn't live to see him/her.

When I explained, the sonographer was kindness itself. She took time to write the sex of our child down and seal it in an envelope so that we would still have the surprise.

In fact, DF lived two months after my DS was born (his first grandson) and used to say it was seeing that envelope on his bedside table every morning that helped his determination to live to see the baby. He told me that he'd opened the envelope on the day DS was born and she'd written: "Congratulations on your new grandson!"

stripeybump · 21/08/2011 00:21

Loudlass Shock

I have no horror stories, but this thread is an eye-opener. My 12wk scan at Kings felt a bit rushed and 'slab of meat' -like, but no real problems other than that all three staff in the room spoke poor English which seemed to hinder their communication with each other as well as with me. My local hosp was lovely though for my 20wk, I really felt they took time to explain stuff and didn't seem rushed.

CardyMow · 21/08/2011 00:28

They way they spoke to me when I refused to take the pills would have made your jaw drop - "Don't you realise your baby is DEAD and you could get a womb infection and die yourself?" My previous pg had ended with my baby being stillborn at 19 weeks due to me catching CP, I KNEW when it happened because I stopped puking like the exorcist having hyperemesis. With this pg, I was still throwing up 12-20 times a day when they were telling me my baby was dead. I KNEW they were wrong, to the point of standing outside the Mat ward, giving my (crying) Ex-DP a hug, and telling him that it would all be OK, I was sure I was still pg.

MoominsAreScary · 21/08/2011 01:12

Our hospital now do dating scans between 12-14 weeks as this is the best time to have a nuchal scan to check for downs

It just seems to me that the sonographer was expecting you to be about 12 weeks as she said she couldn't make the baby out to be more than 11 weeks, she was probably asking if you wanted downs screening as if you didn't you wouldn't have to go back for another scan. If you had already had a scan didn't you know you were only 11 weeks?

Some other posts on here show realy awful treatment, unfortunately even in a caring profession some people show no compassion. I've had two mc and the sonographers were considerate of my feelings ( other staff not so good)

thefirstMrsDeVere · 21/08/2011 09:45

I wanted to add that since DD died I have had two babies. I also have a quite severe anxiety disorder related to hospitals. I had the babies at home but needed to go to the hospital for scans. The first scans were in maternity but the later ones were in the same place where DD had to go for various scans (not the same hospital where the other incident happened).

These were very difficult and emotional times for me. I become very introverted in order to try and contain what is going on inside. I had to go alone to the early scans as they were both (oddly) at 8.20 am. OH came to the late ones.

Anyway - ramble ramble.

I must present as a grumpy, slightly odd woman who suddenly bursts into tears and starts apologising for being an idiot and muttering about her DD being dead. This must seem weird.

The sonographers have always been lovely and tried to understand why this was all so hard for me. Handed me tissues and been very sweet.

In the later scans it seemed very important that I knew the sex. I know this is annoying for sonographers but I really had to know. I needed to prepare myself for having another girl, I couldnt deal with a 'suprise' at birth as it was so emotionally difficult as it was.

On both occassions, once I had explained, they were again very sweet and understanding and did their very best to help me out.

Like I said before, I have met a lot of HCPs and most were great.

Unfortunately its the utter fuckers like the first one that I wake up in the night thinking about and wishing I had done better by my DD.

Its the nature of things.

ToothbrushThief · 21/08/2011 16:15

I'm not sure if it's much consolation to you but what you describe (needing to know the sex to prepare yourself & being emotional ...having been introverted and maybe a tad off to start with) is very common in my experience. I never 'understood' because I'd not experienced it but I did 'understand' iykwim and tried my best whilst knowing that really, nothing can make it right. It felt almost like an emotional time that you had to pass through as part of your grieving process regardless of when your bereavement had been.

InTheNightKitchen · 21/08/2011 16:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bigun1 · 21/08/2011 16:28

My 6th and final mc i went for an internal scan to check on the baby.
I was 6 weeks and had been bleeding lightly, i had to go for a repeat scan to see how the pregnancy was progressing.

Sonographer put in the probe, waggled it from side to side inside me and said "no, nothing in there, look, its all back to normal".

Previously, i have had a mixed bag of experiences of sonographers, some kind and patient, others cold, impatient and heartless.

InTheNightKitchen · 21/08/2011 16:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GetAwayFromHerYouBitch · 21/08/2011 17:01

I used to be a HCP, and I don't think the OP is being unreasonable.

No HCP should ever forget who they are talking to, and in what circumstances. Nothing leaves you feeling more anxious or vulnerable than being in a hospital setting. Sadly, I think some people forget that, or never knew it in the first place.
It isn't the majority, no-where near, but IMO it shouldn't happen at all.

MrsDV - I too feel so angry on your behalf

GetAwayFromHerYouBitch · 21/08/2011 17:05

I also want to re-iterate how much I respect the majority who are so hard-working and sensitive. I had a traumatic event recently and the staff in our (quite run-down A&E) were really wonderful to me

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 21/08/2011 18:09

ToothbrushThief... I found your posts really interesting. It's obvious that patients' behavour and demeanour also needs to be held up to scrutiny as well as that of the professionals. I had no idea of the issues faced in your field. Shock

ToothbrushThief · 21/08/2011 19:43

Lying Witch I haven't even touched on patients' behavour and demeanour. The reason being, that it would be seen to be passing blame onto people like the OP or other lovely people on this thread for bad treatment by sonogs.

However that is a separate issue all on it's own. I just don't see why everyone should be tarred with the activites of a few. I guess the same could be said of HCP's

LiegeAndLief · 21/08/2011 20:11

The best scan I ever had was when I was sent over to the main hopsital to have my liver scanned (whilst pg, had PET with elevated liver enzymes) by the non-maternity scanning dept. There were two lovely female sonographers who did all the liver and kidneys bit and then said "ooh, shall we have a look at the baby!" and spent ages cooing over his lovely face. I was about 32wks so got a really good look. I guess they don't normally get to scan pg women so it was a bit of a novelty, unlike in the maternity unit.

toomanyopinions · 21/08/2011 20:15

No LiegeAndLief, most of us do both types of scan, just that most of us are infacy human! ;)

toomanyopinions · 21/08/2011 20:16

INFACT!!!!!

LiegeAndLief · 21/08/2011 20:35

Really toomany? Well it was lovely that they showed such an interest then Smile. I had loads of scans in both pgs but mainly to look at the blood flow through the umbilical cord - I used to hope every time that the maternity scanners would let me have a "proper" look at the baby but they never did.

Disclaimer - I do understand of course that they were very busy and it wasn't medically necessary to admire my dcs faces, and I don't hold it against them at all, but it was lovely when it did happen!

LiegeAndLief · 21/08/2011 20:36

Scanners should have been sonographers - think I just made them sound like a piece of machinery Blush

LiegeAndLief · 21/08/2011 20:37

Also think I have used the word lovely more times in the last two posts than I have ever managed in real life..

herethereandeverywhere · 21/08/2011 20:47

I fortunately haven't had a bad experience but recently I know of 2 separate friends who have:

  1. a couple who found out they were having twins by the sonographer asking whether it was a natural pregnancy then deleting the foetus number on the screen (1), replacing it with 2 and carrying on scanning without saying a word.

  2. my friend was just told, "that's bad, that's very bad" as they measured the nuchal fold which was "off the scale" when it came to predicting downs (adjusted to 1 in 2 chance with bloods). Happily after CVS and other scans they can find nothing wrong and she's now back to being low risk but what a way to break the news.

LordOfTheFlies · 21/08/2011 20:51

Unrelated to maternity :
my DCs had to have scans done a couple of years ago.
They had to have full bladders ( I suppose alot of the people waiting did too) but they weren't made to wait around.

The sonographer explained everything in detail to my DCs and me, even my ask-twenty-questions DS who wanted every piece of machinery explained.

This is a hospital that has been in the news recently for all the wrong reasons.

toomanyopinions · 21/08/2011 20:51

Hey LiegeAndLief- we're always called 'scanners' by medical staff too so don't worry! I think I've been a bit defensive of my profession on here reading back on my posts- the key is most of us Are 'lovely' (I'm doing it too!) it's a tougher job than it looks and rather than bitch on forums like this or to the next Sonographer you meet, please ladies, complain there and then about poor tratment- scan, shop, cafe, Whatever!

AuntiePickleBottom · 21/08/2011 21:04

on both of my pregnancys the sonographers have been fantastic.

DC1 the sonographers printed off a pic for me to keep this wasn't part of her job and wish me well on the way out and the 20 week one ask us if we wanted to know the sex

DC2 i had to have an emergency scan due to bleeding, she explained everything to me, assured me the 'baby' was fine and the doctor will explain every thing that she found. 12 week scan was a relived as it was also to see if the problem had gone away ( it had, a small gap that wasn't sealed properly) 20 week scan i took my son and the sonographers allowed him in once all the important screening was done.

vez123 · 21/08/2011 21:22

Here are my experiences with sonographers:
12-14 weeks scan: all three (or four) sonographers in the room all mumbling something like 'the baby is small', which was slightly concerning. They made me drink some water, rescanned and dated me back about 5 days. In the end, at his birth DS was at the top percentile for height and still is!
34 week scan to check placenta: absolutely hilarious! The two (male) sonographers showed us how the baby was busy playing with something in between his legs Wink and the room filled with laughter (me and DH included)
Anyway, experience generally positive and this was at a very busy London hospital!
I personally have found that if you open up to people they open up to you as well and it seemed to have worked with the sonographers we dealt with.

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