To wonder why some sonographers are so tactless?

[nosexpleaseimpregnant]

I've been mulling this over for the past couple of weeks now and I was just wondering if anybody else has had a bad experience when having a scan?
Almost 2 weeks ago we went for the dating scan, booked by the antenatal team based on dates from an early pegnancy scan. Whilst me and OH were quite happy/excited to see what we have made the sonographer started mumbling that baby seemed small and she couldn't make it more than 11 weeks. She turned to us and said 'baby's a bit small. Did you consent to the downs screening?'. At which point me and OH looked at each other with a WTF? look. She merrily returned to scanning my stomach and OH blurted out....'Is there something wrong?' to which she said 'No I was just making sure you had handed the form in'
She asked me to go out and drink some more water to see if she could improve the scan and then, whilst sitting staring at my drink thinking the worst she came out and said 'ok I figured it out. The early pregnancy scan showed you were 5w+ 6 days. We've documented it as 6w+ 5 days. Panic over. But you'll need to come back next week as you are only 11w+0'
I didn't know whether I was more relieved or pissed off at the general lack of consideration shown to us in the first place!!
Any other bad experiences out there?

I can see why you thought she was blunt BUT......

the question re Downs - a) she needs to know if you have consented to the test or not, b) the test has to be done in a certain time frame therefore if baby is looking small for dates it is imperative that she checks if baby is small or dates are wrong as it could affect the Downs scan.

I have had sonsographers have to break bad news to me and found them to be fantastic and kind - in fact much kinder that the Drs but that is another story!

I think the answer to nearly all " I'm pregnant with my first child and.....( insert event here)....AIBU" is usually "yes"

But yanbu to ask, it's a worrying time and thermos an entire industry out there trying to scare you - IMO though unless there is a clear "there is a problem" message try and ignore, as otherwise you'll go frantic.

:o Activate.

• thermos - there is.

Lovevlovelove applefuckingspellcorrectors

Yes I understand that sonographers are doing their job and need to be practical, but some of the experiences on here are disgusting (am at positiveattitudes especially).

As with anyone in a caring profession, they should have an ounce of empathy and sensitivity to ask the questions carefully and without causing anguish in small risk cases.

If it's any consolation, not all sonographers are like this. Mine were fine - not ott in any way, but just quite matter of fact, quiet and just got on with what they needed to check and just pointed things out if we had any questions. I naively assumed that's how they should be.

Oh my, you really are oversensitive if you think my little joke was patronising - did you miss the bit where I said you were both (you as parents and her as sonographer) acting appropriately for your position within the interaction?

wait until you get doctors, consultants and midwives and the rest of the world calling you "mum" instead of your name - now that really is patronising

I remember years ago reading in the paper about a Sonographer telling the couple they "Had a dud" because the baby was no longer alive

You're probably going to hate this, but I think it's your hormones

They told me at my first scan of my pfb that I was large for dates and arranged a diabetes test for me.

I sobbed uncontrollably all the way home because I thought I'd made my baby fat by overeating.

I cannot believe some of you are being so vile. My god, if you have nothing nice to say then ignore the thread FFS.

OP, YANBU. The sonographer was rude. I would complain, it's the only way they will be able to change things for other women. I had a bad scan too at my 12 week scan. The lady was very rude about the fact that I had come to see them privately rather than going on the NHS , and when she was going through the different body parts she was mumbling like an idiot, neither DH nor I had a clue what she was saying. When I asked her to tell me the heart rate she said it "isn't signifigant". FFS, I just wanted to know!

My friend and i were talking about this just this week, she had her first scan and told me she thought the nurses were really dismissive of her like they couldn't be bothered, i told her that its their job, they see a million people in the same situation as you so don't expect them to share your joy and excitement, just expect them to do their job in a friendly professional manner, if they don't then that's when you have reason to be upset.

My 1st scan ever happened to be found as a mc at 6 weeks, the sonographer started coughing half way though, then took a fit of coughing and couldnt stop, she found it hysterical that she couldn't stop coughing, and had to leave the room, myself and my dp didn't see the funny side weirdly enough, just kept thinking how inappropriate to actually start laughing half way through doing that type of scan, so i think you have been lucky, and there is also the chance you wont have to have her again if its a largish hospital.

I had a scan at 18 weeks, sonographer said, 'I can't find the heartbeat, come back in 2 weeks', I asked if something was wrong with the baby and she said 'I wouldn't like to call it a well baby'.

I'd had a miscarriage and an ectopic in the previous year, but no one came to explain what was happening. I was sent off home to carry a dead baby inside me for 2 weeks.

It happened 23 years ago, but I can still remember everything that was said to me word for word, - and I still get the same sick fear when I remember what she said. It matters how people talk to you.

I'm sorry you had a bad experience OP.

When pg with my Ds3 and having a scan the sonographer hadnt even bothered to read the slip of paper that tells him what the scan is for. I had to explain that it was a reassurance scan as my DS2 was stillborn 9 months earlier. He then quizzed me on the cause of death. I and already told him it was UNEXPLAINED. I then mentioned I was diabetic and thought this might have been a factor though my doctors hadn't thought it was. He then fastened onto this and lectured me on my diabetes. Told me that I had no excuses at my age (I have type 2) and his dad had type 2 diabetes but was in his eighties so couldnt be expected to be able to change things.

He might as well have said my big fat greediness had killed my DS2.

I'm sure he didn't think that's how he came across and that he was being helpful.

Ha!

I just wanted him to bloody scan me and tell me if my baby was alive or not.

But Honeypie that's exactly the point. As shown by this thread, a lot of them don't conduct themselves in a friendly and professional manner. The sonographer I had for the first 2 scans with dd was horrid. I was under the impression that she had left the hospital since so felt quite relaxed going in for my anomaly scan this week. When DH spotted her in one of the rooms and I realised she was there and quite likely coming for me I very nearly got up and walked out. That's how unpleasant she was. And yet we could hear her chatting with her colleagues and she was fine. Luckily I got a different woman.

I deal with the public at work and have to portray a certain image regardless of how I'm feeling. I would have thought that this applies more so when dealing with anxious people in a medical setting.

I wasn't asking her to crack jokes and do silly dances, just treat me as a person and not a slab of meat on a table.

Should say, a significant number, not a lot of them.

Some people who have replied on here have shared horrendous experiences that should have never happened. I would expect a sonographer to be fairly matter of fact during a scan unless they were presented with some of the situations described here. To be so thoughtless to someone who has been told their baby has died inside them/has miscarried shows a complete lack of compassion.

However, I hope that some of these posts have shown the OP that she didn't have a particularly bad experience, that most of us have had a sharp intake of breath at some point during our pregnancies, but that some of the experiences detailed here are in a completely different league.

Banana87 I don't think anyone has been vile to her, and complaining about the sonographer and reporting her would achieve nothing. She did nothing wrong. OP found her to be a little blase but given that she was not presenting bad news of any kind - in fact it was news to the contrary, what would be the issue? "The sonographer asked me a perfectly reasonable question and reassured me that my baby's size was fine for dates. She seemed a bit breezy at the time..."

OP, YANBU

Your sonographer was making the mistake of thinking out loud, or speaking without thinking - really, doing that job she ought to be aware that parents might be on tenterhooks.

Actually OP i dont think you are beign unreasonable. I had a scan (this is second baby not pfb) and the woman said oh are you sure you are x weeks? Because you only look Y. Dates were a 100% And it scared us both thinking the baby had stopped growing. And then she was like, "oh no wait that's right" they can be so matter of fact when asking certasin quetions. It isn't about you wanting a fuzzy wuzzy pic of your baby like some people mentioned, it's about you being highly aware that this could be where your journey ends, and if you are about to find that out do it with a bit of tact.

I know I'm hormonal (how long can I use that as an excuse BTW?) and yes probably a bit sensitive but this baby has been soooooo wanted with alot of hard work going into it over the past year (including an operation, hundreds of blood tests and many many scans and utter devestation every month when I came on) and if there was something wrong I would expect her to explain a bit before just carrying on as if she hadn't said anything. Some of the stories on here are awful and I know that my little 'incident' was just that, little. I've now had 4 scans in 6 weeks and the last one put my mind at ease, the sonographer was lovely, but I just wondered if it was a common problem amongst the profession.

YABU. Very. Don't tar an entire profession with one brush based on your own limited experience. I for one (and my Sonographer friends and colleagues at every hospital I have worked) am lovely (!), love my job, worked hard to get there and see myself as a guest at a special time in your life when performing an antenatal scan.

I find it very hard to believe some of the stories about tactless Sonographers...I work in a department of 10 and although one or two are quite matter-of-fact the others are lovely and go out of their way to make the scan as enjoyable an experience as possible.

Without exception my colleagues are upset following breaking bad news to ladies / couples, whether it be misscarriage, intra-uterine death or fetal abnormality. I find it very hard to believe that any Sonographer would be heartless or flippant when giving bad news, I have seen too many colleagues ashen, feeling like 'the grim reaper'. It is a terrible position to be in to shatter someones dreams. It needs pointing out that not all scans are performed by Sonographers. Lots of Doctors scan- often with little Ultrasound training.

So you choose not to believe because your colleagues aren't like that? . How is your anecdotal evidence any more worthy than ours?

I can assure you that, apart from the two I saw this week, people I dealt with saw themselves as nothing like a guest at this special time. The last one I saw didnt speak, at all, except to say she would talk us through it afterwards. Afterwards came and nothing, she handed us a print out and had turned her back on us and had moved on before we even said thank you. We shuffled out in silence assuming everything was ok but not really knowing.

Gwendoline, my evidence is not anecdotal! It's my job every day! Grouping all Sonographers together would be like me saying that most pregnant ladies are smelly, wear their pjs in public and can only grunt 'what it it?' during the scan and 'can you stamp this form for travel expences' afterwards...You have no idea what some of the little treasures We deal with are like!

Yes but it's only your experience so it is anecdotal. Same as ours is. Therefore they carry equal weight. So you saying you choose not to believe the stories is not helpful.

And if you read the thread no one is lumping them all together, just giving our experiences of the problems. As
I said, I had two wonderful women last week. Really lovely and it made such a difference.

Who tarred the entire profession?

Sme of have just given our experiences of one/a few sonographers and not claimed every one was like this.

And your find it hard to believe comment makes it sound as if you think we are exaggerating or flat out lying. I hope I've read that wrong.

Gwendoline, I don't believe Some of the stories because I sometimes get the impression that there is a bit of a 'I had the worst scan' competition going on- some of the scenarios are so tactless and heartless that I refuse to believe that Anyone would say the things, let alone a HCP! As in any job there will be good and bad, just defending my profession given that I will have encountered many more Sonographers than you- as a patient and a professional.

Of course, I couldn't have had a crappy sonographer that once (all others were wonderful btw), I must be entering into Bad Scan/Dead Baby top trumps. Because that's so much more likely than a sonographer being an arse.