not to take the Morning After Pill?

[NeedaMAP]

I've name changed for this, sorry. DH occasionally reads the funny threads on here and I don't want him recognising me discussing this. I'll try and be brief.

Married several years, very happily. Both have always agreed that we want children at some point, but we got together very young so neither of us put a time frame on it. After we got married, I was struck with a bad case of broodiness, we discussed it more concretely, and it turns out that he was thinking in several years hence.

We talked about it and talked about it, and his reasons were solid and I don't think I could find a better man to have children with, he's a lovely guy who'll be a great father some day, so I accepted it. But I did go off the Pill and we've used condoms since. And I'd be lying if I said I didn't mind a little bit. I've made peace with it, and I enjoy the freedom of being childless, but I do get my hopes up sometimes when AF is a bit late.

Now we have a fairly definite time frame of two years. This is based on the fact that I'm finishing some specialist training at the end of this year, and will then need to find work and get a bit of experience under my belt before taking maternity leave. I have a solid work background but the specialist training will allow me to do what I've always wanted to do.

This is the issue: last night, we had a whoops moment, and I'm mid-cycle, and he's asked if I wouldn't mind taking the MAP because he's not ready yet. I have no moral objections to emergency contraceptions or terminations or anything. But, but, but. I don't want to. I want a baby. I always have done. We can afford it; we've got good equity in the house, savings, and he's got a solid career. I can take leave from the training and finish a year later. But he's not ready yet, and I don't know that I can force his hand like this.

Help?

[TheOriginalFAB]

Morloth makes an important point. You are in the mess becasue he couldn't control himself so he should have to deal with it.

[lachesis]

Tell him no then. I personally wouldn't stay with someone who imposed rigid time frames on things because I'm not compatible with such people, but that's just me.

[JIRkids]

Just be honest and discuss it with him. He knows you don't take the pill and he knows you want a baby. If he comes inside you he must have a pretty good idea that you are not going to want to take the MAP.

[Mumwithadragontattoo]

I would take the MAP in your position but only so I could finish my work training before having a baby. That sort of thing is much harder to complete afterwards. I am assuming you are young (twenties not thirties). My advice would be different if you're older.

DH shouldn't try to make you take it. As others have said it's your body your choice; if he doesn't want a baby he uses a condom.

[TrillianAstra]

Not advice but something to bear in mind, the longer you wait the less chance the MAP has of working.

NHS says

The emergency contraceptive pill is:
95% effective if taken within 24 hours of having sex
85% effective if taken within 24-48 hours of having sex
58% effective if taken within 48-72 hours of having sex

You are probably not pregnant anyway.