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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To Think Stupid Woman Lovely Man

277 replies

Mitmoo · 16/08/2011 21:40

Driving home this evening son ASD/OCD, mum heart disease disabled, and the tyre goes as flat as a pancake. I was on a country road so I pull into a village and park up in a safe place. Village idiot (woman) says "your car smells like it is burning"

"I have a flat" I reply.

"So you do" she says. Then says "can you move your car it's on the road outside my house". No drive, just a road, no yellow lines, nothing, but my car had the audacity to come to a halt outside her house.

I asked not in a nasty tone but more one of bewilderment if she is joking, she then looks embarrassed.

Another man from the same village came out and me being a dumb ass woman and ashamed to admit I can't change a tyre on MN, changed it for me then didn't want the £20 I was trying to give him for helping. He did take it as we were so grateful. Having him helping helped keep my son calm, and made sure we all got home in one piece.

He was absolutely lovely, happy to help, a true gent. I haven't had help with my car since I was a size 10 and wearing skirts that my Mum called pelmets.

Son is very shaken, doesn''t cope well with things out of the norm but if it wasn't for the lovely man he'd be in a terrible state now.

But we're home (obviously) am I being unreasonable to think the woman was a silly moo to ask me to move my broken down gilloppy when it had a flat and the man was a true gent and happy to help me, my Mum and son on our way?

OP posts:
olibeansmummy · 16/08/2011 22:55

YABU to call her the village idiot, whether to her face or on the Internet. She might not read it but other people have and when people speak like this it becomes mainstream and people that don't know any better think it's ok to call people with SNs or who are 'different' disgusting names. A shocking comment from someone who should know better and your later comments just make you sound even worse Angry

Original poster
Mitmoo · 16/08/2011 22:56

2shoes who says she has special needs and is not just a small minded villager who thinks she owns the spot in front of her house? Remember nothing at all was said to her.

She was not called a village idiot other than an anonymous website;

OP posts:
troisgarcons · 16/08/2011 22:57

Driving home this evening son ASD/OCD, mum heart disease disabled

Unless they have sticky lables on their head then ther are no viable signs of 'disability'

2shoes · 16/08/2011 22:58

[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Village_idiot read this]

festi · 16/08/2011 22:58

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TandB · 16/08/2011 22:59

You would not have been unreasonable to have a straightforward rant about the unreasonable woman who wanted you to move your car.

However YABU to use the term "village idiot" about this complete stranger. Traditionally that term has been applied to someone who is known locally to have learning disabilities. I am a little taken aback that someone with a son with SN would use that term about anyone else.

There is no point getting the arse because people are criticising you on an internet forum for posting something inappropriate on that same internet forum. It doesn't matter that you didn't say it to the woman herself - you said it here and the people who are reading it here don't like it.

There really is no point in posting in AIBU if you are not actually canvassing opinions on whether YABU. Because, surprise surprise, people might actually tell you that they think that YABU.

2shoes · 16/08/2011 23:02

kungfupannda well put

TandB · 16/08/2011 23:03

[links arms with 2shoes and puts on best "YABU" glare]

festi · 16/08/2011 23:06

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niceguy2 · 16/08/2011 23:06

I was on a country road so I pull into a village and park up in a safe place.

So basically you carried on driving after you got the flat so you must have been in full control of the car albeit at a very reduced speed?

You did not stop immediately correct?

You then park up in what you describe as a "safe place" which happens to be right slap bang in front of someone's drive.

Personally I think the first safe place to stop would have been the first bit of straight country road. If you then drive into a village then you may as well have moved an extra few yards rather than plonk your car in front of someone's drive.

So in that context I think you were being a bit unreasonable for not moving and the woman was a bit silly to ask (unless she needed to go out there & then). So YABU and so was she.

Kladdkaka · 16/08/2011 23:16

She will never know what I think. That may well be true. But others with disabilities which affect their social interactions will. It's hurtful and isolating to hear someone who could easily be oneself described as 'village idiot woman'. And coming from a mother whose own son is likely to face that kind of comment at some point in his life. Really, shame on you. Angry

Whatmeworry · 16/08/2011 23:23

I would have left the car there for an extra hour :o

SleepyFergus · 16/08/2011 23:29

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Whatmeworry · 16/08/2011 23:31

PS I hope you get the cops out to sort her out tomorrow morning OP....

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 17/08/2011 00:39

Extremely well said panda

YABU on many levels mitmoo but tomorrow is another day, another melodrama

GypsyMoth · 17/08/2011 00:44

Is this the security light drama poster??

Whatmeworry · 17/08/2011 00:54

Yup.

Pandemoniaa · 17/08/2011 00:54

Why it's been a whole couple of days since the last attention seeking missile was fired from this direction. I was fearing that calm might have broken out but am now relieved to see that normal, overwrought, service has been resumed.

As it happens, YABU to call anyone a "village idiot" and I'm rather amazed that someone with a child who has SN would even have that phrase in their vocabulary. I'm still not sure that I see the point of the thread though because clearly, a person with whom one has cross words is not going to be perceived in the same benevolent manner as a person who was helpful. Or am I missing something here?

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 17/08/2011 00:54

The security spotlight is shining on mitmoo once again Sara Grin

Pandemoniaa · 17/08/2011 00:56

The lights are, indeed, on izzy. Whether anyone is "at home" remains to be seen.

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 17/08/2011 01:06

Are you implying that Mitmoo has weapons of mass boredom destruction in her cul-de-sac garden Pande? Shock

A word to the unwise if I were you I'd keep the spot security light off, Mitmoo - remember what happened to Saddam

Janeymax · 17/08/2011 01:12

YABU to be spending so much energy on this woman. So what if she asked an inconsiderate question and was a bit rude. You're still sweating because you're worried you did the wrong thing and are oversensitive to confrontation. V English!

Pandemoniaa · 17/08/2011 01:23

I think she might well have, izzy. But at least it stops her children from rioting. Allegedly.

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 17/08/2011 01:25

I regret to inform you that you are so wrong Janey. Mitmoo does not worry unduly that she may have done the wrong thing she lumbers us with that decision nor is she afraid of confrontation as evidenced by her spirited response to an elderly neighbour who knocked her up (colloquially speaking) at 1am a week or so ago. Smile

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 17/08/2011 01:34

Having re-read your contribution, Janey, it occurs to me that you may be addressing those who have taken time to respond to Mitmoo rather than the OP herself

If so, I apologise unreservedly for suggesting that you got it wrong Blush

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