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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to ask my neighbour to keep his dog in the house for a few days?

30 replies

LuzLuz · 16/08/2011 20:16

Sorry, boring but genuine advice needed.

Neighbour is doddery old guy who has a 1 year oldish v excitable labrador which has just smashed through my back garden fence and is currently running amok doing lots of damage e.g. ripping up the trampoline netting and my DC's toys.

My DH has an office in the back garden and is dog phobic, our garage is also in the back garden. Until I can get the panel replaced (it's our boundary) am I being unreasonble to ask him to keep the dog indoors for a few days so we can use the essential stuff in the garden?

Will it go mad without being able to go outside? I don't think my neighbour can take him for a proper walk as he's quite immobile so must rely on letting him run around the garden for exercise. Think family help out at weekends.

Can the council help etc if we can't get a response from neighbour? I don't want to drop the neighbour in it as he is v old, seems friendly when we've chatted over the fence in the past and prob gets a lot from the dog's company. I have no idea about dogs at all, just want to use my garden...

OP posts:

hopenglory · 16/08/2011 20:18

Could you offer to walk it a couple of times?

honeybehappy · 16/08/2011 20:21

I would be asking him to replace the fence.

moomaa · 16/08/2011 20:21

Sadly yes YABU especially as it is your boundary. I think you will have to try and put something up or replace the panel quicker.

Will the neighbour pay for the damage caused, as unless the boundary fence was knackered, he should.

mousesma · 16/08/2011 20:21

Yes I'm sorry but YABU. Where is the dog supposed to do his business while locked inside? It's not just exercise that the dog needs to do outside for.

I think you could ask instead that the dog is only let out under supervision for a few days until you fix the fence.

Inertia · 16/08/2011 20:22

YABU, and TBH neighbour ought to be replacing the fence, but it sounds as though you are happy to do this to protect good relations.

It doesn't sound as though he can cope with the dog, sadly.

Inertia · 16/08/2011 20:22

Sorry, I meant YANBU!

choclatelickurs · 16/08/2011 20:23

you cant keep a dog in, it needs to go to the toilet

why are you on the internet rabbitting when there is a dog running amok in your garden?

kay1975 · 16/08/2011 20:23

Why don't you get the fence fixed so the dog can't get in your garden? Or speak to his family about getting the fence fixed? You can't expect him to keep the dog in as where would it do it's "business"??

Inertia · 16/08/2011 20:25

I don't think it matters whose boundary it is- the fence wouldn't need replacing if the dog had not broken it!

If you do have 10 minutes a couple of times a day to take the dog out, on condition that it then remains indoors, I think that's a more than fair offer.

Of course you should be able to use your own garden without an uncontrolled dog running riot in it!

cat64 · 16/08/2011 20:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 16/08/2011 20:25

I think if his dog caused the damage it's not unreasonable to ask him to pay for the repair. could a temporary repair be made in the meantime like so chicken wire ?

A young lab should be getting more excercise than just running around the garden surely?

squeakytoy · 16/08/2011 20:26

YABU, but , if the dog was responsible (or rather, the owner for not controlling the dog) for wrecking the fence, then it shouldnt be down to you to get the fence sorted.. he needs to be doing it ASAP, or getting someone in to do it.

This man shouldnt really have a dog :(

VirgoGrr · 16/08/2011 20:26

If his dog damaged your fence, I'd be asking him to pay for repair.

If the boundary isnt secure, he has a responsibility to keep his dog off your property. I think supervising its toileting would be a resonable solution.

And I'm a dog person. You're being very nice about this. I wouldnt.

NevermindtheNargles · 16/08/2011 20:27

I would pay for the fence if my dog broke it. I would struggle to keep them in though, as they need to go out to pee. It's very difficult to say how he would react, as I would be mortified and would have replaced it straight away so you weren't inconvenienced.

Yanbu to ask though perhaps you can come to some arrangement. Does he have a front garden?

Ormirian · 16/08/2011 20:31

Fix the fence and ask the old man to contribute - if a dog broke it down it can't have been in good nick to start with so it would be unfair to ask him to pay for it all. And no you can't ask him to keep the dog inside however I would question whether an infirm old man should be keeping a young dog like that at all

DogsBestFriend · 16/08/2011 20:32

Sound advice here, mostly. The man is responsible for the repair to the fence, no you can't expect a dog to be indoors all day, especially if his owner can't walk him, yes you should ask him to only allow the dog into his garden on a lead and supervised until the fence is repaired.

And yes you have every reason to be bloody angry - and I speak as the owner of 3 much-adored dogs.

And what the FUCK is an elderly man who cannot walk a dog doing with one anyway... especially a young working breed?

Original poster

LuzLuz · 16/08/2011 20:32

Good idea about asking him to only let dog out at certain times but not sure if neighbour will stick to suggested times as he is v doddery (must be around 90).

Gah, will just have to put up with it until fence repaired. Yes, agree that dog will need to relieve himself so that bit unreasonable.

choclatelickurs I am sitting in house watching dog running amok thinking 'this is all I fucking need' and using AIBU to pass the time :)

OP posts:

DogsBestFriend · 16/08/2011 20:34

The council can help if they still have a Dog Warden. They can send a DW around to remind the man of how he should be acting, advise and warn and assess the situation wrt the dog's welfare.

What the council can't do, even if the man/you are tenants, is replace fences caused by negligence.

MrsDmitriTippensKrushnic · 16/08/2011 20:35

Good grief.

I don't think you'd be unreasonable to ask him at all, particularly as it's his dog that's caused the problem. Has this just happened? Maybe he'll offer to help, or can help you bodge a repair to keep the dog out until the fence can be fixed properly (because in the real world these things don't get miraculously fixed within hours of the original damage - money and life tend to get in the way) Problem is although yanbu to ask I don't know if there's a great deal you can do if he refuses.

I feel for the dog actually. I'm not a big dog lover but from seeing my friend's Labs I'd have thought spending all day in the garden with an elderly owner wasn't the ideal situation. Don't they need a lot of exercise?

I hope the owner takes a bit of responsibility for this and you get it sorted.

squeakytoy · 16/08/2011 20:36

A 90yr old with a boisterous young dog.... ffs, what were his family thinking letting him get it... :(

Does he live alone? Is it actually his or is he just looking after it for someone temporarily?

squeakytoy · 16/08/2011 20:37

Are you seriously just sitting there while this dog is currently in your garden? Why are you not out there letting the neighbour know his dog is loose??

Bizarre

Original poster

LuzLuz · 16/08/2011 20:40

DorisIsaPinkDragon you are a STAR - will get down DIY shop first thing and get some chicken wire and heavy duty staples. I knew MN heads would come up with something sensible.

I, on the other hand, hadn't considered that a dog will actually need to poo...

I could prob get really annoyed about it but there's little point as he really is just a nice old man who shouldn't have such a big dog. If I asked him to replace the fence he'd probably get in a flap and have to wait until the weekend to get family to help out so easier for me to do it.

TBH I secretly wanted to get rid of that trampoline anyway but DD (3) is going to freak tomorrow morning poor thing.

OP posts:

Original poster

LuzLuz · 16/08/2011 20:46

sorry - should have said DH has been round to the neighbours twice in last hour (he lives over the back of our house in another road - but he isn't answering - probably because it is evening or he can't hear). he has called the dog in now. I wasn't going to go out there as dog doesn't know me and there would be little I could do.

I'm not going to go out and fight a 1 year old lab for a giant my little pony.

We put a note through the door asking him to keep the dog in and give us a ring. After doing that I thought, hmm, maybe asking him keeping dog in for three days isn't that sensible.

OP posts:

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 16/08/2011 20:52

sensible me!?!

squeakytoy · 16/08/2011 20:59

It depends what the fence is made of. If it is just panels slotted between concrete posts, it is probably as cheap to just go buy a new fence panel....

then put the bill through his door too...

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