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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To let my 2 year old play naked.

249 replies

Pippinintherain · 16/08/2011 19:45

We were in the local park today. It has a new sand and water area which wasn't open last time we were there.
DD was happily playing in it, pumping the water tap affair and ended up with her jeans and top drenched. She stripped them off and carried on playing in just her knickers. She eventually got these soaked too and as she hates wet knickers, took them off.
I only had 1 clean pair and 1 clean dress with me so let her carry on in the buff as she was having fun.
There was a couple of women giving cat's bum mouths but I ignored, she's 2 FFS and I was right there with her. Not sure what was going to happen to her.

Anyway was telling DH tonight and he was really shocked I'd let her do this. I just think there's nothing more lovely and innocent than kids not giving a damn.

So Mumsnet jury, AIBU?

OP posts:
Willabywallaby · 17/08/2011 06:28

My nephew spent a family holiday in a private villa in the buff. He was about 4 at the time, and thankfully I only saw it on videos. I have 2 boys and whilst I don't mind seeing them naked with their cute bottoms being faced with him everyday would've done my head in.

I would say pants on it public, but will do quick changes for my 3yo and 5yo on the beach etc I like them to keep their willies private.

Willabywallaby · 17/08/2011 06:30

On the paedophile line my Dad won't get changed in public changing areas for fear of being accused of 'looking' at small children in the buff.

notevenamousie · 17/08/2011 06:34

TSC I am not sure running around naked and not being able to sit and eat in a well behaved way go together Confused
OP, YANBU and I think expecting preschool aged children to cover up when they are entirely comfortable is a very sad sign of what society seems to be teaching us and our children about our bodies.

My DD is 4, I would let her (not sure she would do it tho, she never has so far) strip off in the situation you describe, but I can also take her pretty much anywhere to eat and not be worried about how she'll behave.

How would other children "get a face full" of a child's bottom? Do they usually get a face full of arms, legs, faces, other socially acceptable bits of anatomy??

Ivortheengine8 · 17/08/2011 06:40

Thats sad willaby :(

I also think sitting in a restaurant is different to a childs play area.

seeker · 17/08/2011 06:42

"I have never said its odd/inappropriate/shameful, I just don't really want to see it, that's all."

So if it's not odd, inappropriate or shameful, what other reasons do you have for not wanting to see a naked 2 year old?

Willabywallaby · 17/08/2011 06:44

It is sad about my Dad, since I was brought up in a relaxed house. He wasn't told one night I had a friend to stay and was happily wandering around in the buff, thankfully not at the same time as my friend.

MissBetsyTrotwood · 17/08/2011 07:17

YANBU. It was sand and water and the child was wet! If the other kids weren't bothered, no issue imo.

ChristinedePizan · 17/08/2011 07:23

God this is a depressing thread :(

Pippin - I would have done exactly the same, if my DS had been potty trained at that age

thesortinghat · 17/08/2011 07:39

yanbu, it's a naked toddler! It's just not the same as seeing an adult vagina running around the park.

Bathsheba · 17/08/2011 07:40

I must be from a very prudish world but honestly, no-one I know lets their children run around outside their home naked. Its simply not something I see going around my life.

I once mentioned on another now defunct forum that I was very upset at seing a girl of about 8 frogmarched by her mother, through the communal changing room at Center OParcs naked, and I was told in no uncertain terms that my children would grow up to have as many hang ups about their bodies as I have....

IME this "children running around naked in public and no one minding" only happens on online forums.

ChristinedePizan · 17/08/2011 07:48

Bathsheba, I would have been uncomfortable with the scenario you describe too but I don't understand why you think it's relevant to this thread which is about a baby choosing to be naked in public, not a girl being publicly humiliated by her mother.

All I can say is that some of you better not come to our local beach - it's riddled with naked babies Hmm

PerryCombover · 17/08/2011 07:52

sounds lovely, wish I'd been there.

What's going on here? Some very strange views on show

Children playing in water will very quickly result in nakedness and they are very wise. It makes perfect sense.

NormanTebbit · 17/08/2011 07:53

We had one lovely afternoon on a beach when we met another family with four kids and they all stripped off ( apart from my DD1(7) and their DS1(9)) and had great fun.

Funnily enough they have never stripped off in a restaurant.

dolldaggabuzzbuzz · 17/08/2011 07:56

Of course YANBU. Especially as she had got her clothes wet!

Melly20MummyToPoppy · 17/08/2011 08:00

We have this fountain thing in our town centre which is basically a load of jets that shoot up out of the ground. Whenever the weathers nice you always get loads of little kids running around naked through the fountain. I don't agree with doing it in the middle of town, but parks and beaches are fine!

whatsallthehullaballoo · 17/08/2011 08:11

I personally think you should have kept her knickers on. I think that this will teach her that her private parts are just that - 'private' and are for her to keep to herself and others she trusts. It will teach her ownership over her own body and show that it is not for just anyone to look/ touch.

I also believe that there are often disgusting individuals around in these places - of course perverts will want to hang around areas where there are children playing in states of undress. It horrible. horrible that children are not safe to be in their own skin in public....but in my mind they sadly are not safe from being used as visual matter for weirdos.

Original poster
Pippinintherain · 17/08/2011 08:29

Well, a mix of opinions here.

TSC, my children behave beautifully in restaraunts etc, not sure how running freely in a public play space means they don't know how to behave but there you go.

As for the idea that perverts watching are a danger, surely if they are that way inclined they would be just as turned on by a little girl in knickers running around. Again, I was right next to her so not sure what exactly they could do?

She will be taught about private parts but IMO 2 is a baby and there's plenty of time for all that.

I guess we all have different levels of normal, the world would be very dull if we all agreed.

OP posts:
TheSecondComing · 17/08/2011 09:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

seeker · 17/08/2011 09:16

"I once mentioned on another now defunct forum that I was very upset at seing a girl of about 8 frogmarched by her mother, through the communal changing room at Center OParcs naked, and I was told in no uncertain terms that my children would grow up to have as many hang ups about their bodies as I have...."

And exactly how is an 8 year old being forced against her will to be naked in public at all similar to a 2 year old happily playing in water taking her wet clothes off?

seeker · 17/08/2011 09:20

Thesecondcoming- if you can't see that there is something odd in your attitude to naked 2 year olds then I suspect you are the only one.........

TheSecondComing · 17/08/2011 09:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

seeker · 17/08/2011 09:32

You are not getting a kid's vagina - or her fanny- or her bits- out in public. Are you in the habit of lying down and staring up between naked toddler's legs?
And the answer to your question - if your question is when should children stop being naked in public when in a park or the beach or some other child friendly environment- is when they no longer want to be. Which in my experience is usually about 3/4 ish.

TheSecondComing · 17/08/2011 09:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

woollyideas · 17/08/2011 09:41

OPYANBU

Ifancyashandy · 17/08/2011 09:59

Not a liberal parent here. As strict as you like over manners / behaviour. No loud ostentatious parenting and cannot abide Parents who won't tell their children off when their behaviour begins to impact others.

Just don't see the need for a 2yo to have their clothes on when playing in water / sand pit. Think that when they start getting self conscious about nudity is the right time to keep knickers / pants on but would probably start to encourage it around 6 I guess.

I've just remembered that I was once at my very good friends, her 8 yo was naked in the front room after her bath in the evening - she'd come down wrapped in a towel and it'd slipped off. Front room looks out onto street with no nets etc and the lights were on. Two women who happened to be walking past knocked on the front door. I happens to answer it and they said 'wenfelt we should let you know that your daughter (they weren't to know) is naked in the front room and ANYONE could see her'. I was so flabbergasted that I didn't know how to respond, apart from 'we know - she's just out of the bath'. They were disgusted that I wasn't thankful to them! I - and her parents - just though they were mad. Her father would have been extremely vocal had he answered the door.

I do think it's lunacy that they thought it was unacceptable for an 8 yo to be naked by a window, in case she was seen. Sad.