or is my sister wrong for letting my 12 yr old nephew play an 18 rated computer game?

[deaconblue]

I am horrified he was allowed to use birthday money to buy Call of Duty for his new playstation 3. All the info I've found on it says it's clearly for adults not children and is very violent. When I phoned and talked to her about it she said that all his friends play it and the violence isn't too bad because it's in war not on the street. Obviously there's nothing I can do about it except ask her to insure he doesn't play it when our dc's are visiting and I guess it's ultimately none of my business but AIBU to think this is madness?

I think it is nuts. There's a reason for the ratings, and it's because of people who allow their children to play adult rated games that the games industry is constantly having to defend itself against idiots trying to ban adult games in case children play them.

The simple, logical solution is of course not to let children play adult games, but apparently that's just not going to happen.

I think that she is in a far better position than you to judge what is appropriate for her own child and that this is really nothing to do with you.

Fair enough, you don't want your dc to play it and it's your prerogative to ask her not to let your dc play it when they are at her house.

I personally don't think that 12 year olds should play it. My 12 year old nephew also got it for his birthday, which I was surprised about. I don't like it, but ultimately it's down to his parents whether he's allowed to play it or not.

karma - how can it ever be appropriate for an only just 12 yr old to play an 18 game though? It's about killing people, it's not like she's showing him JFK to improve his knowledge of the USA's history or anything

Yanbu

YANBU, I hate this. DH plays it and you should hear the online chatter. Racist, sexist, homophobic rubbish. If they play online you are even less U.

YANBU and I share your sense of horror. I think that parents allowing such young children on games like that is little short of neglectful parenting tbh - but lots of people on here disagree with me.

My 12 year old has it. He does not play it, or any other game online.

There are plenty of games I would not let him play, and plenty of films I would not let him watch. I judge suitability of content for my children myself instead of being dictated to by the ratings system.

i knew someone who let their 3 year old play it

YANBU!

Ah yes, xbox live!!

But of a revelation is that!

Discovered ds playing with 'darryl from leeds', it was wrestling game bit it so didn't sit right with me! Especially when ds says ' there's mum in the room now'

He's banned!

i am under pressure from my 9 year old to play 11 rated games. What do others think on this age difference?

Ilove - not sure why you were so over darryl from leeds.

The 'mums in the room now' happens no matter what; msn, fb, bbm etc as for some reason us parents are to never know what is going on!

Rather than ban it completely why not just remove the headset; they can still play online without the chatter

shewhowines how the he'll can you be under pressure from a 9 year old

Your the adul get a grip if he told you eveyone was smoking a spliff would you let him

Parents with no back bone if people under pressure from a child of 9 no wonder this country is in a state

its up to sister isnt it, she is the parent

frankly i would find it more dangerous for an under 16 to be let loose on places like facebook etc without constant supervision

shrugs

maypole i have said no. i just wondered if i was being unreasonable.

OP, YANBU. As someone who only turned 18 a few years ago, and who was banned from seeing 18 films and so on up until that point, I now can see they were right to. IME, there are a lot of pretty tame 15 out there that could get away with being 12's, but 18 are usually 18's for a reason. I probably wouldn't even let a 16 or 17 year old near them.

shewhowines good you are being a good parent never question your gut

Usually these things are rated 12, 15 Ect for a reason their are plenty of games for his age allow him to be a child

Sadly I have had to Barr my son staying over some friends homes because their parents lack of guidance on these issues

I hate to break it to you maypole but plenty of very normal families let their under 18's play them.

Its not great ,I am not delighted that my son sometimes plays it ...but we have to be aware that peer pressure is very strong and sometimes I will relent and turn a blind eye.

I am a firm believer that if all things are equal in the home...it does not do any harm in the long run.

There are more kids starting dark spin-off groups because they have not been allowed to join in with what others are!

My eight year old is allowed nowhere near it ...my 13 year old sometimes

It is a balance ...banning something makes it just that bit more appealing

I don't know any strange kids that play these games ,they are all well adjusted and come from nice homes. The problems arise when the kids background is troubled and they have no idea what is real life anymore... that is a terrible shame.

It's each parents choice. So fair enough for the OP not to want this played when her DC are visiting, but it's up to the OP's sister to decide what's suitable for her own son.

My DSs who are 10 and (since Sunday) 13 both play it. They play that and other games online as well, but only with friends they know in RL.

Er, darryl from Leeds turned out to be 33 and had an interesting profile pic!

last year ds (7) and I were in viewing area waiting for his swimming lessons to start, was chatting with a mum who's son was also waiting. The two boys were playing nicely together hiding from each other, then the little boy (about 6-ish) suddenly came out with "I'm going to pull you under the water and stab you like in Black Ops" . Told the young boy ds had to sit down as he wasnt allowed to play that game.

The mum at least looked suitably embarrassed.

My childless 48yr old brother got a wii and wii sports etc last xmas for a bit of fun for him and his wife. He also got Black Ops for himself as he had heard about it being a good war game. My brother doesnt shock easily but even he was uncomfortable with the level of violence/torture in this game (he spoke of a prisoner tied up and you put a piece of glass in their mouth and punched them in the face, very graphic).

each to their own if adults enjoy these violent war games, but , I cannot understand why anyone lets their very underage kids play/watch this game.

I'm not sure whether to laugh or be very angry, to be told that letting a 12 year old play an 18 rated game is little short of child neglect. I think children who really have been neglected would tell you otherwise, so I think I'm coming down on the side of angry.That is very insulting to the thousands of very good parents who just make different choices.

I think playing on line is a separate issue - you can't control who they will meet there and so it is risky. The same way that fb is risky.

Not all 12 year olds are the same and not all 18 rated games are the same. I would trust my own judgement more than someone else's. An example I can think of is the TV watershed. There are programmes shown before 9pm that are shown at this time because they have no explicit sex scenes or violence, but are still wholly unsuitable for children. You wouldn't know that if you only relied on the people who decide what is pre and post watershed. It's the same with games and films. It's a guideline and that's all.

There are some adults who shouldn't be playing these games from an emotional maturity pov and some kids who are not affected by them in the slightest. It may not be 'nice' but boys especially do love 'shoot-em-up' games.

I don't buy into this idea that it is damaging to children. If they lived in one room and never did/saw anything else, then yes, it would be. But as part of a varied and balanced life, then no, I don't think it is. Obviously it depends on the personality of the child.

I grew up watching horror films at friends houses and have not been adversely affected. I think children need to be given more credit because they do differentiate between what is real and what is not.

There is an implication that if you let a child play one game you will let them play all games and that's not true. Most parents just decide for themselves whether they think something will affect their dc negatively or not.

I know lots of nice, normal families whose children play 18+ games. They are not weak parents or neglectful in any way.

Forgot to add, but watching real people die is more upsetting for a child, yet we do let our kids watch the news and see historical footage of JFK being assassinated etc. I know that my children have been far more upset seeing the riots on TV, than they would be seeing a fictional game. The graphics are good but they are not so good you get confused and think it's real.

Lindax totally agree I have a friend whom has a 4 and 9 year old she takes them both to see 12a films I have asked her to come and see horrid henry with me and my children she says she cannot sit through a childs finds them boring I do think a lot of this is parents trying to seem trendy or just the fact they they themselves don't like the children's games.

I however do not buy this foolish ness they they will be left out
I don't give a shit what silliness other parents are allowing their children watch and play

I do think this trend of allowing your child to watch and play things that are far beyond their years is more about the parent than the child