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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to really dislike this type of parent/parenting?

106 replies

GeneralCustardsHardHat · 16/08/2011 14:23

I'm sure most people will recognise it and it really makes my teeth itch;

"no darling, darling no, no sweetheart mummy said no, darling, no darling, darling, look darling you're upsetting mummy now please darling no look now mummy said no" ad nauseam.

This is usually followed by a disproportionate telling off for a really minor offence (such as not eating their portion of mung beans) using language and a tone that would shame a squaddie.

AIBU to find these types of parent and style of parenting more irritating than the "shouting down the street" types?

OP posts:
BupcakesandCunting · 16/08/2011 16:54

It is horrible. I stood there doing my best guppy fish impression and shaking with rage.

blackeyedsusan · 16/08/2011 16:56

nickel, given he had just bitten me on the bum because I wouldn't let him run round the library, i think you might be right Grin Blush

Ormirian · 16/08/2011 17:01

Ooh I've the stony glare and the teflon face thing with a child tucked under my arm before now Grin Sometimes there is no other way!

MadamDeathstare · 16/08/2011 17:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ormirian · 16/08/2011 17:07

And the classic 'Mummy, that hurts! Mummy you are huuuurting me!' when I was simply holdnig DS2's hand firmly and steering him out of a certain shop Hmm

blackeyedsusan · 16/08/2011 17:09

hmm. I m wondering what other option there was really. we had gone past the Joyce grenfell(sp) distraction technique at this point. smacking is out. there was no buggy to strap into. and he was not in the mood for walking so dragging him through the shopping centre would not have been an option either.

lou33 · 16/08/2011 17:24

I have definitely done the underarm like a carpet thing in my time.

GetAwayFromHerYouBitch · 16/08/2011 17:54

Yep - have done the Carry on Cleo manouevre

GetAwayFromHerYouBitch · 16/08/2011 17:54

apologies - no idea how to spell maneouvre

Original poster
GeneralCustardsHardHat · 16/08/2011 18:03

I've done the under the arm thing, even done an over the shoulder firemans carry before too and the looks were well worth the burst ear drums from DC's screaming and bruised boobs from the kicking :o

Am I strange, I love toddler tantrums :o

OP posts:
GetAwayFromHerYouBitch · 16/08/2011 18:08

One of mine had a humdinger when I was heavily pregnant and could do nothing to stop it - full-on volcanic explosion of rage and running into walls pushing his little toy pushchair (him, not me). Talking to him would have been ineffectual. Lifting him was impossible - it had to burn itself out I just stood there with an attempt at Zen-like calm

stayforthekids1 · 16/08/2011 18:12

I have 4 dc's and couldnt give a monkeys if anyone judges me when out and about, I am far too busy trying to make sure I dont lose any of them, forget any of them, none of them die. I am definitely authoritative, if I wasnt the four of them would run riot. If one of mine younger too are tantruming over something, i tend to dump them in the double buggy, show my teeth at anyone watching and walk away...then I bring out....the look. I think it has actually killed people before. Grin

TheMonster · 16/08/2011 18:33

I have done the underarm carrying a few times.

I get the 'Mummy you're hurting me' on at least a weekly basis.

Shallishanti · 16/08/2011 18:33

we just got back from holiday- picture a sunny day, quaint harbour, man about 35 with several dcs in tow- one of them said 'can we have an ice cream?' (quite pleasant, not demanding) without breaking his stride, he just said 'no' (again, quite a pleasant tone) child accepted it without comment

  • all observed by our dcs- now all in late teens- we all thought it was really funny, and exactly how things used to go when they were little. You just got the feeling that he could have given a perfectly reasonable explanation if asked, and the dc knew he would be able to, so didn't even ask for one.
Class.
lou33 · 16/08/2011 18:34

When they are older, i have found that a good way of stopping their strops is to hold your phone up and threaten to video their behaviour and show it to all their mates/the whole world via fb etc. That usually cuts them off mid flow and a rapidly quiet exit ensues.

yaimee · 16/08/2011 19:38

Speaking of shouting down the street types...
I was at a carboot sale on Sunday and heard a woman, word for word say scream 'if you don't get up off that skate board now, I'm going to shove it up your arse'
The child was probably 4.
Seriously!
I laughed, what else was there to do?

MuddlingMackem · 16/08/2011 20:40

blackeyedsusan Tue 16-Aug-11 16:49:21

what would you say about the parent with a toddler tucked under arm like a roll of carpet, marching through the shopping centre?

madmomma · 16/08/2011 20:48

personally I love 'shall I tell Daddy'. works a treat. even though Daddy's a wimp

FreakoidOrganisoid · 16/08/2011 21:04

You'd have all been Shock and :-* if you'd walked past me last week. I meant to say "come on then " to ds but for some unknown reason what came out of my mouth was "come on then shithead" all said in a perfectly loving and affectionate voice Hmm Hmm Blush

It's not like I call anyone shithead. It's just not something I say. I have no idea why I said it or where it came from. Luckily ds didn't even hear me and there was noone else around.

AmazingBouncingFerret · 16/08/2011 21:10

I must have split parenting styles, I've been known to do the holding under arm like a carpet thing, the hissing in ear whilst smiling sweetly thing and also the wet drippy "please dont do that darling" and when DS first started nursery there was one eventful walk home that lasted an hour (we lived a 5 minute walk away) we spent a good 35 minutes with him lying on the pavement screaming and sobbing and me sat on someones wall ignoring him, all because he wasnt allowed an ice cream from the ice cream van that parked outside the school every bastarding day even in the dead of winter...

AmazingBouncingFerret · 16/08/2011 21:12

Oh meant to add I work in a toy shop and hear the "The lady will tell you off" line almost every week. Wouldnt dream of it! But I have perfected my head tilt and eyebrow raise that sends particularly disruptive children running for the hills!

joric · 16/08/2011 21:12

madamDeathstare my boss's wife carried her tantrumming toddler out of the supermarket like that. All the way through he was screeeeeming 'THIS ISN'T MY MOMMY, THIS ISN'T MY MOOOOOMMMMY'.
:( this makes me feel ill. WTF do you do if you see that? :(

TheCrazyLady · 16/08/2011 21:16

My friend's ds threw a conker at some poor random ladies head. Lady was livid. I was stunned. My ds (both are 6) turned to him stunned as well and said 'why did you do that?'
My friend just did that 'darling that was so naughty. you mustn't do that' Hmm
She was very embarassed but does do that kind of parenting. I think she thinks I'm harsh as I'm definitely authorative and can come across stern at times.

itisnearlysummer · 16/08/2011 21:17

FreakoidOrganisoid Oh that did make me laugh! Thank you!

joric I think I'd have to say something. Although don't know how I'd feel about it at the time. This is exactly what we have told our DCs to do if anyone ever tried snatching them. Hit, kick and shout "I don't know you, you're not my mummy/daddy". How worrying that noone intervened!

toptramp · 16/08/2011 21:36

I will totally shout down the steet if necessary. Better that than an unruly child wandering into the road etc.