Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

to really dislike this type of parent/parenting?

106 replies

GeneralCustardsHardHat · 16/08/2011 14:23

I'm sure most people will recognise it and it really makes my teeth itch;

"no darling, darling no, no sweetheart mummy said no, darling, no darling, darling, look darling you're upsetting mummy now please darling no look now mummy said no" ad nauseam.

This is usually followed by a disproportionate telling off for a really minor offence (such as not eating their portion of mung beans) using language and a tone that would shame a squaddie.

AIBU to find these types of parent and style of parenting more irritating than the "shouting down the street" types?

OP posts:

Cocoflower · 16/08/2011 15:25

Thank goodness for internet shoppingh Itsnearlysummer?! Saved hours of tat and tantrumns

flootshoot · 16/08/2011 15:29

I do say please to DS when he's being naughty - my Mum used to do it too and it just sort of comes out! But it's said more in the tone of 'now' IYSWIM. i.e. 'Get down off that wall please' This is usually followed by me saying
'Get down off that wall now DS'
'I mean it DS'
'NOW DS'

In my defence DS has beautiful manners so I think it's done some good!!

nickelbabe · 16/08/2011 15:30

so, these parents who say "don't do that, or the shop keeper will tell you off!"

i can bet you a billion quid that if i did turn to that child and tell them off, the parent would not be happy at all

choclatelickurs · 16/08/2011 15:32

i make sure mummy knows darling is irritating me, jocasta soon gets reigned in then

lou33 · 16/08/2011 15:42

My kids are all way past toddler age now, but when they did the dramatic throw to the floor type tantrum, I used to tell them I would count to three and expect them to stop. And if they didn't they would be left behind and I would start to walk away. The tantrum would end rapidly.

ProcrastinatorGeneral · 16/08/2011 15:43

I used to work in a shop. Scared a fair few brats children in my time. Usually at Christmas. When they were being little shits horrors and trying to rearrange an entire display. I'd rummage in the drawer, grab the phone book and start flicking through it muttering "now, where would he be. Hmm, S.. S for Santa. Ah! Got it" and lifting the phone up. The speed with which they'd go stand by their mother's looking mortified was amusing. Thing is... They would remember the next year too

As for my two. No pansying. I'm a "do as you are told or pay the price" kind of mum.

Melly20MummyToPoppy · 16/08/2011 15:43

I saw a 3ish yo walking on the road earlier, a busy main road and the mum was just asking her nicely to get on the path. The girl kept saying "but mummy, im following this path". I did start a thread about it but i can't link on my phone otherwise i would've linked to it.

bonkers20 · 16/08/2011 15:47

lou33 what about in Tesco carpark where it's not safe to leave them on the floor? this didn't happen to me yesterday, I was just curious

Rosmarin · 16/08/2011 15:55

Haha, I think we've all heard those pleas...

But surely it can't be worse than my neighbour?

"Oi, if you don't shut up I'm gonna smack you one!"

Setting boundaries, right?

lou33 · 16/08/2011 16:06

Bonkers, i cant recall ever having to deal with a car park tantrum (mine are 19,14,12 and 10 now), though obviously i wouldnt have left one of them in a dangerous situation,more likely to just grab them and march off, possibly telling them if they wanted to stay there and get hit by a car that it would hurt a lot.

Iirc when i had 3 under 5, the youngest 2 would be in the trolley wedged in between the shopping, and the older of the three would be given a vip task of carrying something for me that was extremely precious unbreakable to concentrate on for the duration.

Rosmarin, the worst mother i ever heard a woman who was marching about 10 feet ahead of her toddler, who couldnt have been more than about 2, if that, down a busy street. He was obviously struggling to keep up with her at that speed, and wasnt doing anything wrong. She stopped for a second to turn round and scream at him "if you don't hurry up i'll fucking bust ya!"

poor bloody child.

Cocoflower · 16/08/2011 16:08

"if you don't hurry up i'll fucking bust ya!"

Wow that's horrible. That kind of parenting is the lowest of the low. Poor kid.

messalina · 16/08/2011 16:08

Yes, they are very irritating types, as are the mummies that do a big show in public of LOVIN' the interaction with baby. e.g. demonic grins that make them look as if they are on speed and retarded cooing sounds. Vomit.

messalina · 16/08/2011 16:13

And talk to the baby loudly in public changing rooms about how clever they are for producing an enormous turd..."Oh look, darling, there's that hoummous I made you yesterday. Well done!" And make loud "Yum, yum" noises as they bring out their tupperware boxes full of Annabel Karmel parsnip puree in gastropubs. (Though I must confess to a mortifying incident in Sainbury's not so long ago...my DD shouted at the top of her voice, "No Mummy, I don't want THAT guacamole, I want THIS guacamole." I scurried off in shame to find the sundried tomatoes.

lou33 · 16/08/2011 16:17

Coco i agree, it was awful , and it must be about 20 yers since it happened, but i still remember it v clearly. That poor child was doing nothing but trying to keep up with his mum (and had no chance), and she screamed it so loudly and with such force it made me wonder what she must be like in private with her child.

I dont know what is worse, the fact she spoke to him like that, or the fact he didn't react to her at all, as though it was all very normal for him.

whenIgetto3 · 16/08/2011 16:29

Oh yes this annoys me greatly, I have just spent the day with my friend and her 2DCs the "please don't do that its not nice" was really getting to me by the end of it, How about "Don't hit X or xyz will happen". I then had the awful situation where my DD was naughty so got her home and sent her to her room to think about her behaviour (having removed her early from the outing we were on) for her to then see my friend later and be told that she thought she was well behaved and that "mummy was a little mean to her" thanks for that, you know hitting mummy in public is not acceptable to me and if you do so there will be a appropriate punishment

Marymaryalittlecontrary · 16/08/2011 16:32

Lou - I hear this sort of thing where I live all the time. It is really sad, I feel sorry for the kids, and I'm not ashamed to admit that yes, I do 'judge' the parents that I see talking to their kids like that.

A few weeks ago I walked past a man with a baby of about 18 months sitting on his shoulders. Babies pull hair, so yes, she probably was pulling his hair, but I don't think there was any need for him to shout at her:
"Get off my hair you little fucking bitch!"

Ormirian · 16/08/2011 16:34

I've never met one.

The juxtasposition of 'no darling' and foul language isn't an archetype I recognise

LemonSlice · 16/08/2011 16:35

I quite enjoy listening to this type of parenting now mine are older
I've noticed it is often accompanied by sideways looks to make sure that I'm fully appreciating the marvel of their parenting skills.

It always reminds me of something I heard on a comedy sketch or interview.

"Please don't poke the nice old lady in the eye with that stick - otherwise she wont be able to see how beautiful you are!"

lou33 · 16/08/2011 16:36

Mary, it's awful and v sad for the children isn't it?

Ormirian · 16/08/2011 16:37

I hate miserable angry parents more.

There was a bloke in town the other week who was nagging and bitching at his kids - one of them panicked a bit because there were people between him and dad in the lift, and dad told him to stop making such a fuss, and then proceeded to tell his DD off for walking too slowly. All of it in this really irritable, tense, -god-I-wishIwasanywhere-buthere voice. Twat! That sort of joyless parent makes me much more upset.

DS1 thought he was a bit of tosser too.

BupcakesandCunting · 16/08/2011 16:45

The worst parenting I have ever seen was a teenage girl woman standing outside New Street station in Birmingham. She had a toddler in a pushchair, about two I would guess. She was standing smoking with her mates for at least twenty minutes (I was stood waiting for a very late DH) After about ten minutes, the toddler started to get restless and started crying. She swung the pushchair round and told him to "shurrup you little fucking MONG"

Yes, I did judge, I'm afraid. For several reasons.

blackeyedsusan · 16/08/2011 16:49

what would you say about the parent with a toddler tucked under arm like a roll of carpet, marching through the shopping centre?

BupcakesandCunting · 16/08/2011 16:50

I would say "stong biceps"

nickelbabe · 16/08/2011 16:50

i would say she couldn't manage to control the child

nickelbabe · 16/08/2011 16:52

buppy - that's horrible :(

Flip

1 2 3 4 5