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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not have a 1st birthday party for ds2?

14 replies

biddysmama · 16/08/2011 09:24

and take him out for the day (blackpool tower btw, he likes the fish)

mil thinks he should have a party but wouldnt show up, my friends live too far away (we moved back to where we are from a few months ago) dh's friends dont have children so wont come, there will be about 5 people actually show up although everyone will say they will Hmm my family dont have small children so wont come to a party but everyone will arrive on his actual birthday

aibu, its not like he knows whats going on?

OP posts:
CadleCrap · 16/08/2011 09:25

YANBU - he won't know - have a nice family day instead

WorrisomeHeart · 16/08/2011 09:27

We're doing exactly the same with our Ds - going to the London Aquarium. His birthday is on a week day and we both work. We'll do the rounds of the family that weekend so the IL's can each do their own fussing.

ChaoticAngeloftheUnderworld · 16/08/2011 09:27

YANBU

supadupapupascupa · 16/08/2011 09:27

YADNBU we had a party for DS's first - just family, and he was soooo overwhelmed by all the fuss. It's his 2nd next sunday and DH and I are taking him out for the day, he will enjoy it so much more! If GPs want to visit they can pop over once we're back :-)

There will be plenty of years where we have to do the party thing, might as well save ourselves the hassle whilst we can hey?

notcitrus · 16/08/2011 10:25

Five people is a party for a 1yo!

We ended up having about 10 people round for ds's first, not so much a party but family and a neighbour with a ds same age, and he was overwhelmed.

So a day out sounds lovely - though your ds1 might feel diddled out of cake?
Maybe a cake with one candle one day too?

CBear6 · 16/08/2011 11:31

YANBU. For DS's first birthday we didn't want any sort of party after witnessing the disaster that was DN's first birthday party just a few weeks before - DN had no idea what was going on, his mother and her friends sat around getting drunk, the kids couldn't get on the bouncy castle for the (drunk) teens, and DN went into an over-stimulation induced meltdown after 30 minutes (and I got a cats bum face off SIL for settling him off to sleep to calm him).

Not my idea of a fun day for DS.

Instead we went away for the weekend of his birthday. On the day of his actual birthday we took him to see the railway museum, went shopping for some toys and books, and fed the squirrels in the park. He loved it and we had a great time just the three of us. At lunch we ordered a sharing cake for dessert and got the waitress to put a candle in so he still got his happy birthday, then when we got back we did the rounds of the grandparents so they could fuss over him.

He's two next week and we're not having a party this year either, if the weather is nice we're going to the park with a kite (he's never flown one before) and then for ice cream, if it's not nice then we're going to a children's museum and for a ride on a train.

Original poster
biddysmama · 16/08/2011 12:02

there will be cake, in my house theres always cake Grin

OP posts:
mummytotwoboys · 16/08/2011 12:44

tell her he is having one but its only for his little freinds not grown ups. then take him to see the fishies.

porcamiseria · 16/08/2011 12:49

I am not having a birthday party for DS2 either

I CANT BE ARSED WITH THE STRESS

i have however taken the day off and we will have a nice family day out

he wont get a present either, he is only 1!!!!!

queenmaeve · 16/08/2011 13:22

Get him a lovely big 1 balloon, he will love it and you will have a picture of something that marks it as his 1st birthday

UKSky · 16/08/2011 22:10

Oh God yes go and do what you want to and not have a party. We were pressurised into it by MIL (they drove up specially). There was only us, PIL, BIL and my Mum but all the inlaws did was try to "pose" DD with the presents they had bought her and keep on about what they had bought and how much it cost. We didn't even buy DD a gift and I thought MIL was going to report us to SS for child neglect!!!

DD just found it all too much particularly when MIL kept trying to force the cake she had made into her mouth. Next year we're going to the zoo.

monkeypuzzeltree · 16/08/2011 22:16

YANBU, we had afternoon tea for DD, just GPs and a couple of aunties. Was quite enough, too many presents in one go for a 1 year old, she had a complete melt down by dinner. Day out, much better plan, plenty of years to do the full party experience ahead!

RubyrooUK · 16/08/2011 22:22

No - I didn't bother. DS has no clue he has turned one and he actually found even getting so many new things at once for his presents a bit overwhelming.

We just spent a nice day together playing at home and going to the park. I'll give him a party when he can appreciate it; till then, I'll save the money and stress for something else.

I took loads of photos on the day (even more than usual!) and told him all about how much I loved him and what a special thing it was that we had had him for a whole year. So I will have lots of pictures to remind us (and him) later about the day. Naturally, he mainly laughed at me and my emotional moments and just tried to get his hands on the banned garden rake.

Your plan sounds entirely sensible to me. :-)

Original poster
biddysmama · 16/08/2011 22:27

you should have seen the look on her face when we told her we might give him his presents a few days early so that his daddy (works 6am-7pm atm) could see him open them [shocked]

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