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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be roll-eyed at showeryoffy parenting?

78 replies

ChaosTrulyReigns · 14/08/2011 20:56

DD, show Auntie Chaos your Irish sancing.

[grr]

DD, Show ChaoticBoy's mom how you can count to 37 in Spanish.

[doublegrr]

DS, show Chaos how you can skateboard form one end of the 2metre patio to the other.

[thricegrr]

Now I have a very WiseAndAppreciativeFace that I use for these instances, but my inside face is very .

Anyone else just feel they are an audience?

OP posts:

PinotsKittens · 15/08/2011 10:03

strandednomore · 15/08/2011 10:12

dd's (3 and 5) are good with Spanish but its because they watch too much Dora, Diego and Handy Manny so not sure whether to be proud and showey-offy or not?

Dlamis · 15/08/2011 10:29

BIL once got dn to do some show off counting and looked at dh and said "Good eh?" (with "isn't my son a genius" face). Dh who by this stage was pig sick of the incessant bragging just shrugged and said "I don't know. I've no idea what they're supposed to do at this age" BIL hasn't done it since.

Although I do get more irritated by the people in queues who get their children to perform Maths questions etc in deliberately loud voices so the queue can hear - yes I'm talking about you loud man at Legoland and 'newsflash' no-one is impressed, we just thing you're a prat - btw my son is younger than yours and can do much better

lallyp · 15/08/2011 11:12

yanbu - kids are not there to be put on display for our entertainment. if a child wants to do tricks/show off for friends of their parents let them offer themselves. i find it cringeworthy when people do this to children.

treas · 15/08/2011 11:45

My ds was forward as a baby, started walking at 8 month, first words at 10 months etc. Made me feel uncomfortable with friends whose children weren't yet at the same stage of their development so always under played his acheivements as I didn't want to appear a show off.

Now ds is so laid back at 11 y.o. that he's almost horizontal and wouldn't perform even if asked.

Mind you at 10 months his first words were tickle, garden and bugger so you can see why I didn't like to show off

Jodianna · 15/08/2011 13:46

Oh dear, mine can all swear in Spanish!
Seriously, as far as I'm concerned, it's fine at the toddler stage, after that they tend to end up as the kids that are a)truly spoiled and b) they're the really dreadful ones on those awful talent shows because the parents have told them they're fabulous and nobody has had the courage to tell them they're awful!

Original poster

ChaosTrulyReigns · 15/08/2011 19:54

Jodia, I think I quite like to see the SpanishSwearing.

OP posts:

PinotsKittens · 15/08/2011 19:56

Dagnamit. I'm normally perfect.

Fecklessdizzy · 15/08/2011 20:01

When DS2 was teeny he had a fart you could hear all through the house, it was a huge, reverberating, fat bloke fart coming out of this angelic two-year old ... Funny as fuck but absolutely no use at all in competative parenting showdowns!

TheSkiingGardener · 15/08/2011 20:39

I think I might actively DISCOURAGE DS as at the moment he is trying to say the words "flap" and "duck"

Yes, my 14mo son walks around the house going "fuck, fuck, fuck. fuck"

Lancelottie · 15/08/2011 21:03

Skiing -- one of mine had a great liking for Ribena. Cute toddler wandering the house saying 'Back-cunt, gimme back-cunt' isn't too great either.

Ormirian · 15/08/2011 21:13

Ooh ooh I can beat that!

One christmas we went to MIL's instead of my parents. Along with DH's 2 nephews, two nieces, hideous (now-ex, Hurray!) BIL and DH's sisters in a small flat. After the lukewarm dinner (that had driven poor MIL to the point of tears because she hadn't cooked for so many for years) we were treated to a prolonged informal concert consisting of neice 1 singing and playing guitar, neice 2 playing the bloody voilin and nephew 2 playing the recorder. Nephew 2 sulked. This went on for 1 and a half hours. We were sober because BIL was a recovering alcoholic.

Hell would have been an improvment.

TheSkiingGardener · 16/08/2011 05:53

Blimey o'reilly Ormirian. That is hideous. At least if you had been prewRned you could have taken a hip flask! Or come down with galloping lurgy the day before.

LithaR · 16/08/2011 06:20

I do think there is a difference between showing off and competative behaviour.

Being proud of your kids and their talents is good for their self esteem, being competative is just making the parent feel good by putting down others.

Although since it took me ten years to get my ds, i feel ok boasting about my beautiful perfect boy (even if its just in my eyes). :p

CheerfulYank · 16/08/2011 06:56

It's awful! DS (4) can recite a few short poems (The Eagle, the Tiger, etc) and MIL makes him do it at family gatherings while the extended rellies give me evils as if I asked him to do it!

And then I do this weird thing where I over-compliment other people's kids so it doesn't seem like I'm making a big deal out of mine. It's all extremely awkward.

at Pag's groovy 70's dancing, though...I wold have hated that as a child!

activate · 16/08/2011 07:04

I'm with you on this - I also hate the types of children who write and perform their own shows and insist on an audience (I am not your audience until you're talented enough to be on a real stage), who sing loud, untuneful, repetitive songs, who sit at an adult dinner party rather than go away and play with their friends

activate · 16/08/2011 07:06

I went to a sit-down celebration lunch in a hotel function room once - I think it was an anniversary - the 3 children of the hosts performed a 1/2 hour concert on - winces - violin - winces again - cello - runs for the hells - trumpet

none of them were above a grade 3

we were stuck sitting down at lunch tables too (although I got up and left on pretext of a toilet break and found a group of wincing adults in the garden)

biddysmama · 16/08/2011 08:07

my mum does it with her dog.... not at all interested in anything my children do but has the dog doing all his stupid tricks

bonkers20 · 16/08/2011 08:47

Ormirian That's normal isn't it? I've been on both sides of the impromptu concerts. It's not right at a formal event, but with family or an informal dinner.
Don't you remember the excitement of making a "play" to show the grown-ups?

BrawToken · 16/08/2011 08:52

My 13 yo dd is a dancer and downright refuses to do any dancing despite being asked by people regularly but I have taught dd age almost 3 a joke, which I get her to tell anyone who will listen because it's funny

ChristinedePizan · 16/08/2011 09:01

ROFL at the stealth boasting on this thread (while DS was reading Wittgenstein at two, I never go on about it) :o :o :o

I have a friend who makes her daughter dance for me. It's really annoying and I want to shout that I am not an adoring member of the family. I also have the wiseandappreciativeface down to a fine art

Verahaspurpletwuntypants · 16/08/2011 09:30

Loving the stealth boasting. Did I mention dd can ask for an ice-cream, and help herself if I say no?

Ps, my sister kept trying to do this with DN (2wks younger than dd1) after about the 1st year my wiseandappreciative face unfortunately turned into a "really? it's so good that he's catching up with dd", which may have been a bit harsh but not had any of it since.

Pagwatch · 16/08/2011 09:38

Yes. You are right. I was boasting really but I am a fantastical groovy 70s dancer. There, I said it.

CheerfulYank · 16/08/2011 09:55

I came across as stealth-boasting, didn't I. Did I? I just wanted to be clear...

Ormirian · 16/08/2011 09:56

Normal? Is it?

No, normal is perhaps giving a quick display of your DC 'talents' for which they have to be dragged away from what they really want to be doing to delight the audience for 5 mins. Not 90 mins worth! otherwise they have to be reasonably good at it surely (try listening to 15 mins of the agony that is a really poor violin player in a confined space before you tell me what is NORMAL!). Plays are different - they are impromptu, arranged by the children, quite fun and not at all boasty.

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