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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be roll-eyed at showeryoffy parenting?

78 replies

ChaosTrulyReigns · 14/08/2011 20:56

DD, show Auntie Chaos your Irish sancing.

[grr]

DD, Show ChaoticBoy's mom how you can count to 37 in Spanish.

[doublegrr]

DS, show Chaos how you can skateboard form one end of the 2metre patio to the other.

[thricegrr]

Now I have a very WiseAndAppreciativeFace that I use for these instances, but my inside face is very Hmm.

Anyone else just feel they are an audience?

OP posts:
MightyQuim · 14/08/2011 21:36

DD was talking in sentences at 18 months and can read level 4 Biff and Chips now she's nearly 4 so I have always gone the other way and when people have commented tried to play it down saying 'yes she's good with words/numbers but no so ahead with anything else motor skills or something'. DS now 18 months only says a few words but is very good on his feet. I doubt there will be much difference between them both at 5 years old. It's just that kids concentrate on learning different bits first. When parents act as if their child is the only child to have ever done something it is annoying but more understandable if it's a pfb.
I do find it amusing when parents are proud that their baby has more teeth than others a similar age though!

LittlebearH · 14/08/2011 21:37

My DD eats sprouts and olives... is that showing off?? Arrgh parenting is a minefield. I cannot help feel as if I am obsessed with DD. I just love her at this age (had a tough 1st year) and am finally enjoying her.

Is it so wrong? Where do you draw the line?

MightyQuim · 14/08/2011 21:41

Where I draw the line would be, for example, there were kids at my local toddler group with language delay. Other mums, who knew this, would boast to the parents about how good their kids speech was and basically how much better it was than their kids.
I think boasting is fine if you save it for the right place. I will sing dds praises to family til the cows come home but other people don't really care. And why should they?

Takitezee · 14/08/2011 21:42

LittlebearH Think about it, how interesting is it to hear somebody say tortoise? I think you've definitely crossed the line!

MightyQuim · 14/08/2011 21:44

I understand the tortoise thing. DD used to say 'mouse' in the sweetest voice ever! Definitely best saved for adoring family members though. And only if the child wants to show off themselves!

Verahaspurpletwuntypants · 14/08/2011 21:44

I used to get dd1 to say "cucumber" but only because it was so cute to hear her say cucumbububurrrr.

Is that Showeryoffy?

Could get herself dressed at 2 Although I'd never make her do it in public. That said, other than cucumbububurrrr she won't say/do anything on demand.

JacksonPollocks · 14/08/2011 21:54

I'm laughing at:

YANBU. And I suspect all who disagree are the loud pushy kind as described in OP.

I disagreed. Thank God ds is cute and smiles because it distracts from the fact he doesn't do a single 'performance'. In fact he's nearly 16 months and hasn't mastered ONE word nor any other action on demand. Other mums are getting them doing all sorts, ds just smiles sweetly and gets me out of competitive mummying.

Takitezee · 14/08/2011 21:58

JacksonPollocks I loved your post. My dd isn't a performer which is very frustrating for her teachers as she never puts her hand up at school. She knows answers to questions but that is enough for her and she doesn't feel the need to share it with anyone. I love the fact that she is so secure in herself.

Popbiscuit · 14/08/2011 21:59

DeepPurple- That sounds lovely. How fun! Wish mine had cousins nearby though your Mum must have had the patience of a saint!

dementedma · 14/08/2011 22:01

it's cute for you when it's your PFB, but you forget that the audience might be on it's third or more child and actually couldn't give a flying fuck if your kid can say tortoise or mouse.Grin
As an old hand and mother of teenagers, I bear these amazing performances with a fixed smile and try hard not to roll my world weary eyes

Happymm · 14/08/2011 22:08

Little bear, yep, your annoying and PFB. It may be cute to you, but you don't sound cute to no one else. My DD was advanced with speech, luckily my DS thinks talking overrated so have nothing to show off with there-but he does dribble a ball like Beckham at the age of 2, so they obviously all have their own skill...:o

Happymm · 14/08/2011 22:09

You're obviously not your, bloody iPad

Claw3 · 14/08/2011 22:10

I didnt realise people actually did this

MightyQuim · 14/08/2011 22:19

Happy your kids sound exactly like mine even down to the football! I wonder if it's a boy/girl thing. DD was verbal very early but didn't crawl and is generally physically a bit awkward. DS is happy to communicate in grunts but climbs somersaults and controls a football really well.
They are total stereotypes basically. And I've tried not to encourage girl/boy things. I bought toy cars and stuff for dd - which she ignored and her brother loves!

bonkers20 · 14/08/2011 22:34

If the audience is your family then I think it's fine. If you can't show your children off to your parents, sisters etc then who can you show them off to?

meditrina · 14/08/2011 22:50

You can force this onto GPs, aunts/uncles and Godparents, but it's a bit much to do to anyone else - no matter how sick you are of being the captive audience all the damned time otherwise.

goinnowhere · 14/08/2011 23:04

My mum and dad get displayed to, and my siblings. No one else. Gets it out my system. To be fair, I tell people what they are rubbish at too!

Jackaroo · 15/08/2011 04:24

I think my children are too well trained. They just say amazing/cute things without being prompted, but knowing only too well they will get major responses. Unfortunately, they have both been very cute looking at the toddler stage and so, combined with telling off their parents/counting to themselves/saying their abc (which incidentally at this age is generally just rote, and not really of any significance, surely everyone can see this), is just too much.

Equally, I didn't get to enjoy the 1st two years of DS1's life, so am really revelling in it for DS2 and frankly if I've been polite and listened to a long tale about a friends search for a car/party wall debacle etc., they can just deal with it! It's part of being friends/relatives as far as I'm concerned.

michelleseashell · 15/08/2011 07:11

Does anyone remember how scary children are to you when you don't have any or know any? The way they stare at you and babble incomprehensible nonsense (which of course their parents understand perfectly and look at you as if to say, well answer her question and you're like, I have no idea if that was even English. Is she counting in Spanish? Help!)

And being alone with a random baby. Didn't anyone find that weird? What is it thinking? What does it even want? And you're terrified to pick it up in case you break it.

Don't really have a point. This just reminded me of getting kiddy heebie jeebies.

Pagwatch · 15/08/2011 07:30

I hate this stuff too but that is partly because my mum used to say "dance for us pag" whenever more than two adults were in the room.
This in spite of the fact that
A) I was about 11 before she stopped and
B) I was not any kind of trained dancer but could simply do the shuffling about that passed for grooviness in the early 70s

Although at least it was better than when she occasionally would say "sing for us". My singing wasn't even the same standard as my dancing.

2BoysTooLoud · 15/08/2011 07:39

Have nieces that are forced to quote all the 'kings and queens' etc at family gatherings - nauseating. I say 'how clever' with everyone else though..

Wallace · 15/08/2011 08:14

I occasionally get mine to show off (especially ds2) for the sole reason of distracting them from doing something naughty.

For example ds2 turns into the Tasmanian Devil gets a bit over excited with visitors, and will try to climb them Hmm

So i will distract him by telling him to go outside and show so-and-so how he can ride his bike/how well he can hop etc

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 15/08/2011 08:40

I personally think that if you have to tell a child to 'say this', 'do this' or 'show this' then it's excruciating. It obviously isn't natural for the child to do it and the only person who's revelling in it is the mum. Why do mothers do this? Confused

It just gets straight into competition from then on and is so irritatingly contrived. I hate seeing children being asked to perform like monkeys. You can't give an honest opinion of the performance and it's just tedious.

What I love to watch - without any prompting from the mother at all - is the amazement on a child's face when it's managed to do something for the first time or managed to master something they couldn't before. That's priceless.

Mumofjz · 15/08/2011 08:44

Wallace, i'm like you, usually DD will be enthralled with a tale to tell which i know from experience will go on and on and on and which my DS will dip in and out of to extend further - whilst i'll let them tell this to family, i do try to curb it with the doctor or checkout girl (though sometimes i let them tell them with a look of "this is what i have to deal with ALL day") help me :o

somewherewest · 15/08/2011 09:23

YANBU. I've honestly never seen a parent do this (I'm pregnant with my first and my friends seem to have more sense) and would cringe right down into the floor if they did.