to be fretting a bit because I can't get hold of my in-laws, who are looking after toddler DS today?

[openerofjars]

SMIL & FiL are doing us a massive favour by having nearly 3yo DS for the weekend while our kitchen renovation is happening. We are hugely grateful to them and have got loads done. They picked him up yesterday morning and were supposed to be bringing him back for 4. They are wonderful grandparents and great in-laws.

However, when we have tried to phone them a few times today to ask if I can pick him up to save them a bit of trouble and give DH a bit more DIY time, as the electrics are taking longer than anticipated, we can't get through. Their mobiles and landline just ring and ring and then go to voicemail.

To add to this, DH's estranged brother, who is violent, scary and unpredictable, attacked his mum verbally and physically last night and usually when this happens he threatens FiL and SMiL as well. We don't know if they know about this yet, but he has threatened to kill them and burn down their house before.

Oh please tell me IABU and DS will be on the doorstep in a minute with his grandparents.

Did they say what they had planned? Might they have gone to the beach (ropey reception at all the beaches I frequent)?

I have to be honest and say I would be worried - chances are everything is ok but I am a worrier. Is it far to go? Can you get over there yourself, leaving DH at home in case they arrive?

I can completely understand why you are worried and YANBU but the chances are they simply do not have reception or are enjoying themselves so much they haven't heard the phone.

When they return thank them very much. Next time they have DS ask if they can give you a call at lunchtime each day so DS knows you are not too far away. This lets them know you want more contact when they have him but that it is for his benefit not because you are worried about their ability to look after their DGS

could it be that they are on their way back now and have left their mobiles in the house? YANBU to fret because the brother sounds like a danger to be around.

Any chance you could just pop round to the house if they arrive back soon?

I don't think YANU but agree with saintly, in that they might have had plans to go out in an area where reception is not so good, or they just genuinely might have missed the calls if they are in a busy area.

Try to not worry too much as it's not much past 4. Although I do appreciate that's much easier said than done. Personally, I've found getting anywhere on time is really hard with a DC

Let us know when they turn up

If they don't arrive back soon is what I meant

Sorry that should have read 'I don't think YABU' - that will teach me to post without Previewing!

Well yanbu to be cnocerned
However, you are likely to be (happily) proved wrong.
Sounds like some sort of domestic crisis - phones maybe - and they are dealing with it. Is there anyone else in the area you can call? How far away are they?

any news or sign of them?

bump - an hour late now, assuming they're not already there

They are back! They didn't take the phone and lost track of time. Honestly.

So I am both very relieved and embarrassed now, but thank you so much for all your common sense. I can now stop worrying and get on with cleaning up a very happy, tired and absolutely filthy DS in a good long bath.

dont be embarassed, anyone would be mildly worried even ignoring the brother thing. I hope they were apologetic

Nope. Not at all. They are really thick-skinned and just said, "But we were at Eileen's". But of course (who the fuck is Eileen?). Silly Jars.

Bless them, they are lovely people, but it just didn't even occur to them that we might be a bit worried, because DS was with them, having a brilliant time and eating his own weight in cake. And he was: he only stopped talking about everything he's done today for long enough to eat his tea. They don't have much imagination sometimes.

blimey how did we manage before we had mobile phones surgically attached to our ears :)

or even before we had phones :)

Well presumably we worried like mad if a close relative who was looking after our child had been threatened by someone who was known for violence.

Glad he's back! Yabu but that's how it it is with a 1st child lol. Just wait till he's gone to a play date without you and is later than expected having been with someone you inky met a fir night ago at the school gate etc.

Relax a bit older people don't hang on their mobiles and report every mov like younger people do- they come from the time when you went out for the day and that was that.

Beacons, the penny post, semaphore, morse code, telepathy? Lucey

It's a wonder we're here to tell the tale

Am i the only person who can see "DH's estranged brother, who is violent, scary and unpredictable, attacked his mum verbally and physically last night and usually when this happens he threatens FiL and SMiL as well."?
It's a bit like the x files

No, I can see it, Stealth, and thank you.

He nearly broke MIL's ARM last night, the bastard, and threatened to kill her.

DH has reiterated his promise that this psycho won't be allowed over the threshold here. Ever. But it kind of makes one a little bit nervous, you know? So, when PFB and his grandparents go off-radar for a day, it has the potential to cause worriment.

Oh, and FIL and SMiL didn't know about the attack on MiL until they brought DS back here, so they had been blithely ignorant of the situation until then. We couldn't get through to them on the phone to warn them, you see.

I see als well that ends well but fwiw had it not been for the brother then you would have been unreasonable to fret. With the brother in the picture it's very understandable. Are the police involved?

Yes. And they think he's, to quote directly, "a knobhead" too.

I was worried for my lovely PILs, too: they have both been ill from stress caused by BiL in the past and he is bigger, stronger and meaner than them.

All's well that ends well, though, for now. Mostly. MiL has just called and is mostly okay bit still quite shaken (and her ARM bloody hurts).