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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed of my Dad, FIL, my brother and two SIL's have forgotten DS's birthday?

25 replies

Joogle · 12/08/2011 16:54

DS is 6 today and all the above mentioned haven't called or sent cards, not even a facebook message...

DS waited by the door for the postman but he walked straight past the house which was quite sad.

He has had a great birthday but I feel upset all these people have forgotten, should I remind them now or do you think they should remember?

OP posts:
Original poster
Joogle · 12/08/2011 16:55

Sorry meant to read 'should have remembered'

OP posts:
worraliberty · 12/08/2011 16:55

Did you remind them beforehand?

HumphreyCobbler · 12/08/2011 16:56

that is pretty unfortunate

your poor ds, glad his birthday was good otherwise

pommedechocolat · 12/08/2011 16:56

Oh I feel very sad for your ds waiting for the postman.

I think you should tell them that story to remind them tonight. Noone should forget a 6 year old relative's birthday.

jeckadeck · 12/08/2011 16:57

in the case of your dad, yes that's a bit bad. Its a pretty basic requirement for a grandparent, I would say. SILs and BIL not as clear cut, tbh. Depends how close a family you are, how much stock you put in things like this and how organised you are. If you really want them to send cards/presents you should probably prompt them on it.

Original poster
Joogle · 12/08/2011 16:58

Yes I reminded them about a week ago. I think maybe I'm just being sensitive because it is so many of them, his biological Dad has forgotten his birthday for the last 6 years too which has made me a bit touchy about the whole thing

OP posts:
worraliberty · 12/08/2011 16:59

Aww that's bad then if you reminded them Sad

AgentZigzag · 12/08/2011 17:00

It depends on the kind of relationship you have with them, but I wouldn't go round reminding the family of my DCs up coming birthdays, it looks a bit grabby.

I know you'd be doing it so your DS feels loved by his family, but if my SIL sent me a text/email reminding me of my nephews birthday she'd be getting a Hmm face.

Your dad is a bit different, but it's really a reflection on him that he's not made the effort.

AgentZigzag · 12/08/2011 17:02

X-posts with you Joogle, 'his biological Dad has forgotten his birthday for the last 6 years too' no wonder you're a bit raw about it then.

Original poster
Joogle · 12/08/2011 17:02

AgentZigzag - I didn't call them to remind them, just mentioned what we were doing for his birthday while chatting

OP posts:
Original poster
Joogle · 12/08/2011 17:03

My brother I can kind of understand as he has no kids and is a bit scatty but he is still pretty close to DS

OP posts:
Original poster
Joogle · 12/08/2011 17:29

Do you think I should prompt my Dad?

OP posts:
EssexGurl · 12/08/2011 17:33

I'm not quite sure why the OP should have to "remind" family when her DS's birthday is....

It is my DS's birthday and my aunt has been getting in a right tizz over getting the present to us. She usually comes for coffee the day before so we can have a natter but this week her GD has been in hospital so all a bit stressful. I've had half a dozen phonecalls to say when should she post the present, that she has posted it, that she forgot to include the card so that is coming separately, when it should arrive. After all that, DS didn't tell me that the door bell had rung, so the postie has taken it back to the sorting office.

That is what families should do, OP. I would be fuming in your position.

spookshowangel · 12/08/2011 17:38

i dont really expect my family to remember my kids birthdays i suppose it depends on the kinnd of relationship you have with them.

Andrewofgg · 12/08/2011 17:50

Whoa there. If the Post Office locally has fallen down on the job - and it happens - they may all arrive tomorrow. Disappointing but not the fault of the rellies. Wait and see.

Original poster
Joogle · 14/08/2011 21:39

Nope, my dad and FIL have definately forgotten :-( Sil and my brother turned up today with card & present

OP posts:
FabbyChic · 14/08/2011 21:42

I would ring the dad and FIL and say, so and so asked why he did not get cards from you for his birthday and I had no idea what to say, I told him that they must have been delayed.

tralalala · 14/08/2011 21:45

I would have to prompt my dad if my mum wasnt around, my BIL always forgets and my FIL has never acknowleded any of them so I feel your sadness.

I would explain to your dad and brother I would explain that your DS was upset by it and that next year you would appreciate it if they sent a card but that you will remind them.

Soups · 14/08/2011 21:55

In my family, I would call my Dad and pleasantly mention it, saying ds was upset. If it was a mistake and he'd usually send something then it's easily put right.

We don't send cards and presents between my siblings, or to each others children.

mummytotwoboys · 14/08/2011 22:59

YANBU, your poor DS watching the postman walk by, I think I would have cried for him (but im a soppy git!), in fact im welling up right now :( - glad he had a nice birthday anyway. You should probably mention it or be a child and not send them anything for their birthday (this is probably what i would do Grin )

TheFrogs · 14/08/2011 23:08

yanbu, my dad only has two granchildren (my kids) and he forgets their birthdays every year. It gets to me more when he forgets dd as she doesn't know her father's family so has very few cards as it is. But then, he's never really bothered with me very much so I guess it's expected. Still hurts though!

biscuitmad · 15/08/2011 00:08

I just wanted to say brothers are very forgetful. My ds didnt get his christmas present off my brother till February.

sunnydelight · 15/08/2011 00:43

I don't mean to be harsh but birthdays just aren't a big deal for a lot of people and remembering someone else's kid's birthday just isn't a priority for everyone. You obviously put the idea in your son's mind that he would be getting cards from the postman - maybe you should have been sure before mentioning anything. Our family have always been totally erratic about remembering birthdays, it doesn't mean we don't love each other.

TheFrogs · 15/08/2011 00:51

Aw sunny, what kid doesn't love post? (I still love post even though there's a 99% chance it's a large bill) Grin

LolaRennt · 15/08/2011 01:09

Does your dc have a fb account? Confused why would they fb you for his birthday.. anyway I think YABU sorry, its nice if people remember but not a requirement.

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