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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you do this, or am I a mug?

100 replies

bananapirate · 12/08/2011 12:56

DH is going sailing tomorrow, they go tonight. He's forgotten his sunglasses. they are prescription ones.
He wants me to take them to him.
So I have to go to the station and get on a train for 20 minutes.

thoughts?

OP posts:
fedupofnamechanging · 12/08/2011 13:12

I would, but it does depend on what you were arguing about.

Original poster
bananapirate · 12/08/2011 13:12

linerunner- they are all going straight from work on the train, and some are clients, so can't really ask them

I don't think it's unreasonable at all, i have nothing else to do.

The row was bad from my point of view, it's really about being at his beck and call, and doing things his way.
So this is a bit pertinent

OP posts:
JustFiveMinutesHAHAHA · 12/08/2011 13:13

I'd do it - but I'm a bit of a Brew - though it would depend what the row was about and if he asked nicely or just assumed I'd do it if he said he needed them - iyswim.

nickelbabe · 12/08/2011 13:14

yeah, because they're prescription ones, i'd do it.

if they were bog-standard ones, i'd tell him to

Grin
MerylStrop · 12/08/2011 13:14

I would do it
Purely to illustrate your point

nickelbabe · 12/08/2011 13:14

(notwithstanding the row)

MadamDeathstare · 12/08/2011 13:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JustFiveMinutesHAHAHA · 12/08/2011 13:15

Well - I'd need to know more about the row to be certain, but it sound to me like you need to say 'No - I told you last night I am fed up of being at your beck & call' (or whatever you did say).

MadamDeathstare · 12/08/2011 13:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DizzyKipper · 12/08/2011 13:16

It would make him happy - why wouldn't you? I would definitely do it, and feel quite pleased with how happy I would have made my partner (who I'm sure would be very grateful).

whostolemyname · 12/08/2011 13:17

I'd do it. but id be grumpy about it!

fedupofnamechanging · 12/08/2011 13:20

Well, if the row is about him taking you for granted and he is expecting you to deliver his glasses rather than asking nicely and appreciating that you are doing him a favour, then perhaps now is the time to say no.

I think the row is relevant tbh

QuintessentialShadow · 12/08/2011 13:20

Can he not find an optician and buy clip ons for his glasses?

LineRunner · 12/08/2011 13:21

So you have to meet him a train station at a specific time? Like, Portsmouth or Lymington?

Such a pain in the ass.

Original poster
bananapirate · 12/08/2011 13:21

Quintessential- he's far too busy

OP posts:
ShoutyHamster · 12/08/2011 13:21

Would he do it for you?

My DH would do that for me without a second thought, and indeed does frequently drive places/pick me up/do stuff to make my life easier. So I would do the same for him.

However... it sounds rather as if the row was actually about the fact that it's you doing the giving and him doing the taking. In which case, to turn Meryl's point on its head, I wouldn't do it, simply to illustrate the fact that as per last night's row, I have indeed had enough of being at his beck and call, and no, I wasn't just letting off steam and then it's business as usual, I mean it - treat me better, because the worm has turned.

If that's not a fair assessment of the situation I probably stand corrected. But the point is, if you continually put yourself out for someone who doesn't reciprocate, it's not being nice, it's being a doormat!

Original poster
bananapirate · 12/08/2011 13:26

linerunner- I just have to go into Waterloo, it's only 20 minutes.

TBH- there is a much bigger picture here.
I am pissed off at him for a lot of reasons, none of which are trivial.

Long story

OP posts:
Fuzzywuzzywozabear · 12/08/2011 13:27

I would do it to be the bigger person, having said that my DH would do it for me, without hesitation

QuintessentialShadow · 12/08/2011 13:28

Well, if he is too busy to think about alternative arrangements, and just expect you to drop everything and come running to him, he will never learn to pack for his trip, and keep inconveniencing you for his convenience.

Original poster
bananapirate · 12/08/2011 13:28

Shoutyhamster, ha, no, he wouldn't do it for me.
He is far too busy, far too important, far too stressed. No time.

If I asked him to pick up a pint of milk, he'd flap.

OP posts:
JustFiveMinutesHAHAHA · 12/08/2011 13:29

:(

Only you can answer this one really.

JustFiveMinutesHAHAHA · 12/08/2011 13:30

x-posts

Then tell him to come and get them himself if he needs them.

ImperialBlether · 12/08/2011 13:33

How did he ask you?

Was he apologetic about the row and beg you to do him this one last favour?

Or did he just text you telling you to do it?

LineRunner · 12/08/2011 13:34

Oh I see. You may have to do this favour, but I would hope he's grateful and appreciative. If he's not, then you have a heap of talking to do. Not rowing - talking. Sounds like you're pretty stressed - sorry.

JustFiveMinutesHAHAHA · 12/08/2011 13:38

LineRunner - 'you may have to do this favour' why does she have to do this favour?? She is not his lacky. He has options - he can come home and get them himself, go without or go to an optician and get a pair of clip on sun shades. Frankly, the way he treats her he needs telling to fuck off.