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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder why all benefits are not limited to two children only

425 replies

SuzysZoo · 10/08/2011 13:59

Ok. I know that this is going to be a bit contentious. I don't mean retrospectively either. I just wonder why, in these cash strapped times, the government doesn't just say that all benefits, child benefit etc should be limited IN THE FUTURE, IN AT LEAST 9 MONTHS TIME, to 2 children per family only...... My point being that if you have more you should support them yourself. AIBU?

OP posts:
cricketballs · 11/08/2011 18:33

like I said Custardo; maybe in your area, but certainly not here....

Rocky12 · 11/08/2011 18:33

Twinkly - not sure how long ago it was for you but things have changed I think over the last 5 years. There are websites telling you what you can claim, Facebook allows all sorts of info to be shared.

twinklypearls · 11/08/2011 18:34

If they are getting money from elsewhere the benefits system is not too generous. I have survived on benefits and it is grim.

Rocky12 · 11/08/2011 18:35

Because Custardo - I am far too old to be a single teenage mum, I couldnt look myself in the face knowing that I was living off the state, I would rather make my own choices in life, not rely on the whim of a government

twinklypearls · 11/08/2011 18:36

I knew what I could claim Rocky, so websites would not have got me anymore. I went to the CAB who helped me claim whatever I was entitled to.

Facebook would not have helped me as I had no money for internet.

Rocky12 · 11/08/2011 18:38

Dont think the benefits allow for you to have luxuries so I cannot think where they get the money from. Why should a teenage mum who hasnt contributed a penny have what should be considered a luxury

twinklypearls · 11/08/2011 18:38

Rocky12 Thu 11-Aug-11 18:35:58
Because Custardo - I am far too old to be a single teenage mum, I couldnt look myself in the face knowing that I was living off the state, I would rather make my own choices in life, not rely on the whim of a government

Some of us rocky have no choice for a period of time, I did not choose to have a child that the state supported. I was married with a six figure income when I fell pregnant. Before that I had never claimed a penny in my life. I then worked in a very focused manner to ensure that hopefully I will never have to directly take another penny from the state again.

Rocky12 · 11/08/2011 18:39

Ok twinkly - so where is the money coming from?

Tortington · 11/08/2011 18:40

i dnot thing teenage mums get more becuase they are teenage do they? so why is this not a lifestyle choice for you - does it boil down simply to the morality of it?

Tortington · 11/08/2011 18:41

debt, credit, the provident, doorstep lenders, thats where the money comes from.

Rocky12 · 11/08/2011 18:41

Six figure income should have allowed you to have some savings. Over £100k per year and having to go on benefits doesnt make sense

twinklypearls · 11/08/2011 18:41

I don't know rocky, I am just quite certain that when I was on full benefits (8- 9 years ago) I could not have had those things.

Rocky12 · 11/08/2011 18:43

Custardo - I am over 40. It is too late for me to become a teenage mum. I wouldnt have been so stupid when I was a teenager.

twinklypearls · 11/08/2011 18:43

Yes Rocky I did have savings, my husband emptied my bank account just before he kicked me out onto the streets and changed the locks. I had a household income of that amount, sadly much of it was earned by my husband.

mathanxiety · 11/08/2011 18:43

'Does it really have no effect on birth rates though? I thought in countries where there were financial incentives to have only two children, it did have an effect on birth rates.'

No CB in the US, just food stamps and no cash for children at all, and there are still large families (well, families of 3+ children) living on thin air, women on minimum wage paying rent for roach infested fire traps, living in virtually uninhabitable hovels, women tied to men who they really don't want to be tied to but would be out on the streets otherwise, along with their children, women forced to live in public housing among the gangs and the recently released sex offenders...

Rocky12 · 11/08/2011 18:44

Sorry but earning over £100k per year and then going onto full benefits. It doesnt make sense. I am guessing that you had a house, car all the usual with that sort of earnings. Where did it all go.

Portofino · 11/08/2011 18:44

I would not think they do. It is a very sad state of affairs if they genuinely do see this as a life style choice.

Rocky12 · 11/08/2011 18:45

Ok, you your husband had the six figure income not you. So, why wasnt he chased by CSA. They would love to get someone like that.

twinklypearls · 11/08/2011 18:46

My husband took it all, I had no warning. He came home from work one day and basically told me to fuck off and take my brat with me. He emptied my bank account and I left with the few things I was standing in.

Portofino · 11/08/2011 18:46

twinkly, surely if you were married, your ex must have to pay something? Share of marital assets etc

twinklypearls · 11/08/2011 18:48

Because when you are very wealthy it is very easy to hide your wealth. Eventually I did get maintenance from him which I took as it was either that or benefits. However as soon as I was able to support myself I told him to stuff his money.

Portofino · 11/08/2011 18:49

He could not throw you out of the marital home with nothing. Did you get legal advice?

twinklypearls · 11/08/2011 18:49

I never wanted anything for myself, I just wanted to be able to care for my daughter.

carpetlover · 11/08/2011 18:51

But was the house not in both your names? He cannot just tell you to fuck off and you go?

I realise all this was years ago, Twinkly but it just all sounds a bit strange. Were you very young when you married him? I only ask because I cannot imagine marrying someone like that. I could do anything to DH, he could meet someone else and leave me but he would never, ever, allow his kids to miss out. He would give me the house and walk away until they no longer needed it then we'd sell it. He would live somewhere crappy and cheap ratehr than see his kids suffer. Surely 99% of men feel this way?

Portofino · 11/08/2011 18:52

Are you divorced now? How long were you married?

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