Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to deliberately expose my toddler to chicken pox?

102 replies

hagridthehamster · 08/08/2011 09:52

DS is nearly 2 and hasn't had it yet. A friend has invited me and another Mum round for coffee and the other Mum has said her baby has chicken pox.

I am starting a 4 year college course in September which will be intense to say the least so I thought that the likelihood is that DS WILL get CP sometime in the next 4 years so he may as well get it now whilst I'm still at home 24/7 with him. I appreciate it's selfish on my part but AIBU?

OP posts:
janelikesjam · 08/08/2011 11:25

YANBU. in my opinion. Get it over with. If he does catch it though, keep an eye on him, sometimes it can get nasty...

MissJanuary · 08/08/2011 11:26

PIMSoclock I think you may be getting slightly het up your self disgusting hysteria?? Calm down, there's a love.

Just plaining stating how I feel about her AIBU.

She has asked and I have responded, I think she is stupid to put her kids at risk for her calendar reasons. End of.

Mumwithadragontattoo · 08/08/2011 11:31

Well my DS had chickenpox when we were due to go on holiday with two other families who also had babies (15 months and 8 months). My doctor and the doctors of the two other families all said it is helpful to expose babies sooner rather than later (unless newborns of course). As it happened my son was on about day 5 of the rash when we arrived and although his spots hadn't crusted over the others didn't get it.

I was surprised about the attitude of the doctors but I think it shows YANBU.

Having said my DD had CP at 2 and then got it again at 3 much worse so even if your DC had in now he might get it again when you're at college so you may be exposing him unnecessarily.

PIMSoclock · 08/08/2011 11:32

miss January
I think that the fact your original post has been deleted speaks volumes.
It was completely out of order! Who are you to comment on someone else's right to their own children based on a question?!
Your flippant attitude to parental rights is disgusting- that's MY opinion

warthog · 08/08/2011 11:33

every day you are exposed to disease. there's bacteria and viruses on every single surface.

you cannot disinfect everything and it would be unwise to do so.

your children need to build up their immune system. far better to have it when they're small as it affects you worse when you're older.

WillowFae · 08/08/2011 11:34

My daughter was hospitalised with it (isolation for 4 days) and nearly lost her sight. It is NOT a minor childhood illness.

warthog · 08/08/2011 11:39

i wonder why we don't routinely vaccine for cp, like the states does?

bumbleymummy · 08/08/2011 11:40

Sorry about your daughter Willow. It is a mild childhood illness for the vast majority but, as with any illness, some people can have it worse than others.

RockStockAndTwoOpenBottles · 08/08/2011 11:44

I would, but more because I was hospitalised at 7 with it and gave it to my DStepDad who very nearly died at 32. DS had it twice, first time at 9 months, very mildly and again at 3. The older DDs had it at 2 and 3, one was quite poorly and the other was not too bad at all. None of the older DC needed anything more than Calpol and TLC though. DD3 is 2½ and I would rather she had it sooner than later.

WillowFae · 08/08/2011 11:47

Thanks bumblemummy. It was horrible. She had only just turned 1 and I have pictures of her in hospital which are heartbreaking. I know that not every child gets it bad. My son had had it 2 weeks before she did and he didn't suffer any major problems. I probably should have said that it isn't ALWAYS a minor childhood illness.

bumbleymummy · 08/08/2011 11:50

I read something recently that said use of paracetemol with cp did not really alleviate itching and could prolong the illness (longer time for spots to crust).

bumbleymummy · 08/08/2011 11:50

Sorry willow! X post that seems a bit tactless!

RockStockAndTwoOpenBottles · 08/08/2011 11:59

Bumbley I shall try and remember that (paracetamol) for when DD3 does get it. It was 15 years ago that my older children had chicken pox, so I'm quite sure advice has changed now! I also gave them phenergan which was perfectly acceptable in the mid 90s for children with CP. Not sure it's something they'd recommend these days.

LollipopViolet · 08/08/2011 12:05

I wouldn't do it, so think YABU but:

I got it a few months back, aged 21 and it was vile. I felt awful, and was on anti-viral medication as well.

It used to happen all the time when my mum was a child, and also when my grandparents were.

Original poster
hagridthehamster · 08/08/2011 12:25

Miss January, calm down there's a love. Wouldn't want you all het up when my 4 DC arrive to live with you, I mean, you might be a less than perfect parent to them and there where would we all be?

Thank you all very much for the replies and information/advice. I have taken in on board and am going to have a good think about it.

OP posts:
Original poster
hagridthehamster · 08/08/2011 12:26

it on board

OP posts:
MissJanuary · 08/08/2011 12:29

and common sense prevails - OP is re-thinking.

Hagrid where did I ever say I was a perfect parent? Indeed not.

But deliberately exposing your children to illness for calendar reasons alone IS less perfect than me for sure, as your original posts quotes "selfish"

MissJanuary · 08/08/2011 12:32

PIMSoclock we are all entitled to our own opinion, thats the point of a forum.

marzipananimal · 08/08/2011 12:33

I have been wondering about this (so OP YANBU to think about it) although it's hypothetical at the moment.

I was thinking it might be a good thing for DS to get it while he's still breastfeeding as it should be milder and i can easily comfort/get fluids into him.

CardyMow · 08/08/2011 13:39

But are you going to quarantine your dc after knowingly exposing him to the CP virus? If not, then you are possibly infecting someone immunocompromised, or a pregant lady. Have you ever heard of Fetal variecella syndrome? It can cause a foetus to have malformed limbs, learning difficulties, breathing difficulties, or even IN UTERO DEATH.

As happened to me (as I naturally have no immunity to CP despite having had it 3 times) when someone selfish took her CP infected (obvious, uncrusted sores) toddlers into my local supermarket. I was 6 months pregnant AND MY BABY DIED.

SmilingHappyBeaver · 08/08/2011 16:01

YADNBU.

I don't understand any of the comments about why the OP is irresponsible to deliberately plan an illness to a time when it is convenient to her. On the basis that her child is highly likely to contract CP at some point in the next 5 years anyway from a childcare setting, then by ensuring it happens at a time when she can give the child her full attention is infinitely preferable to it happening when Mum can't be around for as long or has to rely on other people to help.

There are a lot of martyr types on these boards who perhaps do not need to fit as much into their lives as others, and therefore find it easier to drop everything as soon as their kids get sick.

Maybe a tiny % of kids do get seriously ill with CP... and presumably these kids are predisposed to getting very sick with it and would do so whenever they contract it, it's not like the OP is trying to deliberately infect her DS with a more serious strain of the disease FFS!! If the OP's DS is predisposed to getting particularly ill with CP (highly unlikely), then it lends even more weight to the argument that the OP is being very sensible in planning it.

Good for you Hagrid - I hope you see some spots soon! I have given up trying to infect DS3 before i return to work after Mat leave, he's seen 3 spotty friends in the last 6 weeks, but still no spots Wink

Feenie · 08/08/2011 16:07

How incredibly tactless and insulting to the poster before you, SmilingHappyBeaver. Did you even read Loudlass's post?

I'm so sorry, Loudlass, that's awful - I've seen you around on the boards for a long time, and had no idea.

warthog · 08/08/2011 19:12

feenie - she won't have. she wouldn't have posted that if she had.

so sorry, loudlass, for your loss. that is just terrible.

Feenie · 08/08/2011 19:14

Well, it's hardly a cross-post - two and a half hours later.

kiki22 · 08/08/2011 19:18

YANBU much better to get the younger as ppl said it gets worse the older u get and as an adult can make u very ill. If they are going to take a bad reaction they will take one no matter when they get it.

My sister was exposed along with me at 2 and we both got it, sister got it a second time (which is possible) when she was older very mildly would have been a lot worse if she had not had it the first time when exposed.