to not think a trip to Kenya will be great...

[leroymerlin]

My mum wanted to take us all to Kenya on holiday as she has recently inherited some money. This is to celebrate her 60th birthday. So far so amazing.

However - she hates spending money, has never celebrated anyone's birthday in the past, has never wanted to travel in the past and finds being with my DD3 and DS1 stressful (her words after a trip to Dunelm and Pizza Hut). I didn't feel comfortable accepting for numerous reasons and so suggested that we had a rethink about the destination.

She has sent an e-mail stating how unhappy she is to me and my brother and sister, (listing a number of other mean things we've done to her) and is now refusing to answer the phone (she lives 3hours away or I would go over.)

What can I do? Does this sound like a menopausal meltdown? How can I make my mum happy? (My dad died six years ago).

Not really AIBU but was I unreasonable to voice concerns?

YANBU. If you are all arguing about it now, do not go on holiday together!

Has she been on holiday since your dad died?

Is it something to do with 'cheaper for a group'?

Why Kenya? It will be a massive culture shock for a start unless she has been before.

We went to Spain together with my sister (I organised (and paid for) everything) a few years ago. Since then however I've got married, had children etc. She refuses to go away on her on no matter how many different ideas I've come up with (singles, appt self catering, national trust...)

My little family have just been camping for five nights in Devon, that was our holiday (we're not doing 'amazing' trips without her?!)

Going on holiday with family (especially long haul) sounds awful.

A trip to Kenya in general, with people you enjoy spending time with, might well be great.

A trip to Kenya with rowing relatives will not be great.

Ripeberry - my brother has been living there for the past couple of years, though recently left his job and doesn't have a house there or anything (he could come back here for her birthday easily). I think it would be a massive cultural shock for her too...

We have just been to Kenya and had an amazing time - BUT we were celebrating and it was just the 4 of us (Me, DH, DD (20) & DS (15). Best bit was having the safari van for just us 4 - loads of room. You do NOT want to be sharing a van with people you are not VERY friendly with (and Kenya is too far to go to not do lots of safari).

I wonder if she is simply lonely and needs someone to go on holiday with?

Is t possible for just you to go on holiday with her?

I'd quite like a row, but its more of an emotional tug of war. She seems, for the last six months always be fearing that we don't want her around. This it seems has confirmed it for her. (Even though we are going to stay with a friend near by next week, I asked if she'd like to book a day off work to join us and to come and stay next weekend for DS first birthday).

She is definitely lonely.