To still wipe/check my DCs after they have done a poo?

[SuzysZoo]

Title says it all really. AIBU? They are at school but not in double figures!

Why do you do it if they manage at school?

DS1 is 5 and only if I notice signs that he hasn't wiped properly ie marks in his pants, do I ask to wipe his bottom. That must be once every few months. Otherwise he is quite capable.

You'd be surprised though, it's not as umcommon as you think. I remember needing help until i was about 4. I remember being worried about gonig to school as i couldn't wipe my bottom properly. My older brother (6 at the time) told me just wipe your bum ten times or until the paper comes off clean. It is just that simple sometimes.

One of my colleagues brought her 7 yo DD into work one day, I can't remember why. But when i was in the bathroom at work, she came looking for her. The DD was waiting until her mum came to her before she finished. She wanted her mum to check if she'd wiped herself properly..... 7 is a wee bit old tbh but to each their own. I would have given her wet wipes if she was worried about leaving it behind.

I still do it for my 5 year old if I think she hasn't done it properly.

(Come to think of it, I've known a few grown men that could have done with a reminder to just do that extra wipe.)

I did both my boys until they were about 6 yrs as it didn't actually occur to me to get them to do it themselves before then ( don't know why, just didn't) and I know my sis in law still does her 4 yr olds bum. My boys used to call me when they were ready for me to come into to the bathroom.

They are now 9 and 11 and perfectly fine and independant so I wouldn't worry about it.

No matter what you do as a parent you will be judged by others so just do what is right for you and your family.

Personally, I prefer to live with the skid marks in their undies. It's a bit controlling to wipe after 4/5 years old - are you obsessive about cleanliness / hygiene generally?

I don't check or wipe. My 4yo is fine but my 6yo ds regularly can't be bothered to wipe at all, the reason I know...his nasty pants !! He has been told but that's him for you!!

DD has always been good- instilled into her as a very little girl about front-to-back.

DS has a Teflon arse. Claims he doesn't have to wipe because it whooshes out so quick.
Don't trust his theory so bought him Andrex wet wipey things

DP's DS is 7 and still gets DP to wipe his bum. I think this is weird and refuse to do it - he's old enough to do it himself! The kids in my Recep class can do it themselves!

It really does depend on the child - and the poo!!!

I do help my 7yr old when I'm there. She has had poo problems which led to daily pooy pants so needed help clearing up. Better now so less of an issue so I do generally leave her to it, but not all the time as it makes her sore if she's not cleaned herself thougherly (sore within an hour). Combination of sticky poo that takes half a roll to mop up plus sensitive skin.

My nearly 6yr old however is totally different, self-sufficient since 3. Always has clean poos (tmi!) and skin like a rhino.

So, it's individual.

Surely it just depends on the child not their age. Lots of factors may be involved some kids bm are looser than others etc and may find it more tricky to wipe easily.
I have stopped doing dd who is 5 but only in the last few months. She often has loose bm & would get a bit distressed & frustrated if she couldn't manage to get properly clean.

Provided it's not just a case of a child being lazy I can't see why it should be a problem to help.

Ds has just turned 7. Sometimes he calls me if it is a particularly messy poo but usually deals with himself. I think as long as its not a regular occurance after the age of about 4 and i will NOT be helping him probably within the year so around 8 at the latest.

My DS1 is 5 in sept and i still wipe his. DS2 is 3 and i do his too. DS1 wont use the loo at school to do a poo, he will hold it in till he gets home if he has to :( We had told him to use them but he wont. Even if he sleeps out he wont have a poo in my mums toilet or dads toilet, although he is getting better at pooing at mums. Dads is a catogorical no. He had bowel problems as a baby and he has always struggled with pooing - constipation/hard poo so prefers to do it at home. DS3 will do it anywhere.

we still get the

Mummy/Daddy iv had a pooooooooooo from DS1

Mummy iv had a biggg poooooooooo DS2 Lovely lol

I still check or sometimes help my nearly 5 year old. We don't use paper but have a spray and sometimes it is hard to get the spray in the right direction. They still have help in school as well.

I think they should be able to do it themselves unless there is some sn.
Maybe get some flushable wipes to "finish" with after they use toilet paper?

Unless they ask for help. I see a lot of parents do this, so maybe I have just been very lucky with my kids and all of the kids I have cared for!

I think that there must be a lot of a lot of DCs who need to lock the door and say 'go away-I can manage!'
I agree with hmc.

My 4 year old only trained a couple of weeks ago, so not sure how I apply squeakytoy's "not after 3" post to him I do still help him and imagine I will for the next few months at least (in Scotland so he starts school next August). It really depends when his motor skills develop, I would see supervising wiping at home until he can do it without supervision as a necessary part of teaching him tbh. Obviously he will need to manage as best he can at nursery/school, but at home I think some help with wiping for younger children can be used as a good teaching tool, rather than just leaving them to it.

I don't help my 7 year old but he regularly still has skiddy pants, bleurgh. I've spoken to him over and over but it doesn't get me anywhere (he has suspected AS though so I think that may contribute in his case). I do remind him to wipe properly if he goes for a poo at home though (he always informs me beforehand in a very loud voice lol!)

Quite quite hilarious that some people perceive it as controlling behaviour. Bonkers!

Bonkers right back at you butsout.

My dd3 is 5, just finished reception.

She is a nightmare. Rarely flushed the chain and as a consequence I can see that she doesn't even attempt to wipe her bottom.half the time (no tissue in loo even with a stool).

She gets away with it as her stools tend to be quite firm and leave her clean...but not always.

Any tips on how to address this would be welcome.

My dh has the very, very occasional skid mark in his undies - unusual but it has happened once or twice (gross - especially for a grown man. boy do I have a go at him!), I may start wipeing his arse...