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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think it doesn't take much for a small wave or nod when

55 replies

GreatBallsOfFluff · 04/08/2011 08:16

A vehicle has stopped for you at a zebra crossing?

Was on the bus yesterday and we were coming up to a zebra crossing. There was a boy scooting quite fast towards the crossing and a woman stood near the crossing but not looking as if she was going to cross. Bus driver stopped as it looked as though the boy wasn't going to stop. Then woman and boy both cross with no type of acknowledgment whatsoever.

Even when I had dd in a pram or laden with bags I used to do the most stupid looking over exaggerated nod as a thank you.

AIBU to think it's just rude not to?

OP posts:
belgo · 04/08/2011 08:20

YABU. Do all the cars whizzing past thank the pedestrians waiting at the crossing? Why should the car drivers be thanked for doing what they are obliged to do? Is it because they are 'letting' the pedestrians cross because we all know car drivers own the roads?

cjbartlett · 04/08/2011 08:22

Yabu

It's the law that they should stop, they're not being kind, they are following the laws of the road
Do you nod when they stop at red traffic lights?

MorelliOrRanger · 04/08/2011 08:37

Huh? Its a bloody level crossing - drivers are meant to stop when they see people about to cross.

Sirzy · 04/08/2011 08:40

I always acknowledge anyone who stops for me to pass whether I am driving or walking. However, with crossings I don't expect to be thanked as the law says I have to stop.

youngwomanwholivesinashoe · 04/08/2011 08:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StillANovice · 04/08/2011 08:51

I've always thanked people who stop for me at a zebra crossing or junction; fully understand that they are meant to but doesn't hurt to thank people. As more and more people aren't now bothering to stop, offer their seat, hold a door open etc it seems worth an acknowledgement to those that do. I know - I must be getting old!

purpleknittingmum · 04/08/2011 08:54

Like others have said, the traffic is supposed to stop so I don't feel a 'thanks' is necessary

I hate it when drivers that have had time to see me waiting still whizz through the crossing, then I will often raise my hand and shout out Thanks!

Once I was approaching a zebra crossing and heard someone speaking to a driver, turned out it was an attendant in the Sainsbury's car park telling a driver off for not stopping!

Mitmoo · 04/08/2011 08:55

YANBU I have go go over one on the school run four times a day and the parents rarely say thank you, nod, lift a hand. It doesn't take much and I always acknowledge the thanks with a lifted hand or a nod a smile back.

I got slaughtered on here for saying the same thing. Good Luck OP. FWIW I do agree with you.

catgirl1976 · 04/08/2011 08:55

YANBU. It is just common courtesy to give a nod. Doesn't hurt or cost anything.

changeforthebetter · 04/08/2011 08:56

While I tend to acknowledge people who stop properly (rather than screeching to a halt at the last minute) but as others have pointed out - it's the law.

Do you need to be thanked for not nicking my handbag? (which would be poor deal anyway as it is just old receipts, DDs' half eaten biscuits, assorted plastic crapola they accumulate and no money Grin)

Mitmoo · 04/08/2011 08:59

In our case I also think it would be good for the parents to say thanks, just a nod to teach their children to do the same. It's a courtesy. I had no idea so many people don't bother until son moved school and we changed our route to have to pass one so often.

TheBolter · 04/08/2011 09:00

YANBU - but I've noticed that while it is always customary to acknowledge with a smile or a wave in the small town I grew up in, I noticed upon moving to large cities (Manchester, London and Bristol) that it is not the done thing at all! I think it depends on where you are!

nenevomito · 04/08/2011 09:01

I always nod or wave. Tis polite IMO, but not everyone does and my DH is firmly in the "why are you waving" camp.

pictish · 04/08/2011 09:03

Yabu - the cars have to stop. That's it. That's how a zebra crossing works.

'Thanks for not running me over'

nbee84 · 04/08/2011 09:07

Are people becoming nicer these days? I've noticed that it seems to have become common place for a driver to thank another driver that has stopped behind a parked car to let you through - when it is your right of way anyway and they have to stop.

When I was younger people would never thank the driver for the above example or for stopping at a zebra crossing - they stopped, you crossed.

I actually think it takes very little effort to raise a hand or nod a head in thanks, so yes, I do it Smile

catgirl1976 · 04/08/2011 09:10

A waitress has to clear your table - it is part of her job. However, it does no harm to thank her does it? I apply the same logic to the zebra crossing.

Bubbaluv · 04/08/2011 09:11

Good manners are the things you do to make society a nicer place to exist despite not being obliged to do them.
Aknowledging someone who has stopped for you is just good manners and you can't legislate for that.
YANBU - but there are plenty of rude people out there, so best get used to it.
There's a radio station here in Aus doing a whole campaign called "Bring Back the Wave" to try and encourage people to expercise a few uncommon courtesies.

yoshiLunk · 04/08/2011 09:12

Yes, I wave or nod a thank you (for not running us over) at crossings, but then I also wave a thank you when I'm driving to the waiting cars at road work traffic lights Blush - can't help myself it's the way I was brung up.

Mitmoo · 04/08/2011 09:15

I always thank people for stopping behing parked cars too, and expect to be thanked when I pull in which happens 95% of the time.

What drives me bonkers is when the white van man ignores the obstruction on their side and expect you to wait even though they are on the wrong side of the road with plenty of room to pull in,

LadyClariceCannockMonty · 04/08/2011 09:20

YABU, definitely. Drivers don't wave or nod at me when I stop and wait at the red man. It's right of way, plain and simple. It's different if a driver chooses to slow or stop if I'm attempting to cross the road not at a crossing (which I do only occasionally!); then they're obviously doing me a favour and I acknowledge them with a nod and a mouthed 'Thanks!'
The worst thing is when a driver magnanimously waves you across a pedestrian crossing, as if they're doing you a great favour. It's arrogant. I want to shake pedstrians who do a craven nod/wave/thank-you as they scurry across a crossing; it just adds to the feeling, common IMO, that drivers are superior to pedestrians.

Mitmoo · 04/08/2011 09:25

Lady many pedestrians are car drivers too, at the school I referred to earlier the parents park across the road, then use the crossing. Ignorant devils rarely acknowledge you stopping even though it is a courtesy and a nod costs nothing.

I can't see who it harms to be courteous?

pictish · 04/08/2011 09:26

I agree Clarice

I too thank those who slow down to let me cross when I'm not at an official crossing, but at the zebra crossing they're just doing what the law dictates.

AlfieandAnnieRose · 04/08/2011 09:32

No i agree with those who think its polite to nod/smile/wave as a thank you. I see it as polite, acknowledging that they have stopped for you, not every car stops at a zebra crossing remember.
My nanny used to wave thanks when we crossed the road, even though it was a green man :)

purpleknittingmum · 04/08/2011 09:32

LadyClariceCannockMonty I was just coming on to say similar, that if I am attempting to cross a road not at a crossing, and a driver waves me over, I raise my hand and nod a thanks

feckwit · 04/08/2011 09:34

I always say thank you, it is just common courtesy.