AIBU to think it doesn't take much for a small wave or nod when

[GreatBallsOfFluff]

A vehicle has stopped for you at a zebra crossing?

Was on the bus yesterday and we were coming up to a zebra crossing. There was a boy scooting quite fast towards the crossing and a woman stood near the crossing but not looking as if she was going to cross. Bus driver stopped as it looked as though the boy wasn't going to stop. Then woman and boy both cross with no type of acknowledgment whatsoever.

Even when I had dd in a pram or laden with bags I used to do the most stupid looking over exaggerated nod as a thank you.

AIBU to think it's just rude not to?

Years ago, I remember standing waiting for a green man, had my daughter in a push chair. I will admit to being quick off the mark, but I didn't walk until I had the green man. A car then whizzed round the corner and had to stop as I was halfway across the road. The female passenger was shaking her head at me in a tut tut way. I was in the bloody right!! I pointed up to my green man, so they must have jumped the red light to come round the corner

I'm shocked at the number of people who think you shouldn't be nice because 'they have to stop'

You can't compare it with 'do drivers wave to me for standing here, there wherever...'. When you are crossing a road you are walking right in front view of the driver thus giving you the perfect opportunity to acknowledge and well, just be nice. It's one of the things that makes the world a nicer place. If I get thanked in such a way I always return the gesture with smile and a wave. I don't have to, they don't have to, but we did and it wasn't difficult... just nice and friendly.

We (should) thank lots of people who are only doing what they have to; the hairdresser, the shop assistant, the bus driver, the postman....

I alway thank drivers that stop to let us cross a zebra crossing. There are to many that just drive through it without stopping. As I have seen many times outside our school. My dcs also thank drivers for it as I have brought them up to. Normally because my hands are holding theres so I tell them to thank the driver.

The dcs love it when the driver smiles back at them or waves back. At the end of the day its just comman curtosey and being nice doesn't cost anything. I think its a good thing to teach the dcs.

Mitmoo, cars stopping at a designated pedestrian crossing isn't a courtesy , it's the law.

Those saying that they acknowledge people who stop because so many drivers don't; that's just depressing, no? Being forced to feel grateful for something that should just be standard behaviour.

If it was a 'courtesy' on both sides e.g. if drivers thanked me when I stopped to 'let' them go through a red light, then it would be fair enough. But it doesn't work like that.

No Lady I think Mitmoo meant acknowledging drivers was a courtesy, not them stopping.

I guess at the end of the day some people have manners and some people don't. I think the amount of people on this thread who clearly don't is the most depressing aspect.

YAnBU it's just common courtesy. I always do, although sometimes I think I'm over polite. I am one of those sad saps who will squeak 'sorry!' if someone bangs into me

I don't acknowledge drivers who stop at a pelican crossing, because the lights are red and they have to stop. I do however, give dirty looks to the ones who shoot through the red lights.
At a zebra crossing though, I always give a little nod or wave to cars that have stopped, because sometimes you can be standing there for ages before any bugger will stop. I know they are supposed to stop, but a bit of politeness doesn't hurt anybody.
I do get annoyed when people just barge out onto a zebra crossing from nowhere, assuming that their foot on the crossing automatically makes my brakes work. The worst ones are people who can't take their eyes off their mobile phone for even a second, to see if anything is coming, and launch themselves into any road, with or without a crossing. I nearly ran over a stupid girl who did this, (not at a crossing). My brakes screeched and she never even looked up, just carried on crossing the road in total oblivion. I wasn't going fast either, she walked out between four lines of traffic that was moving.

catgirl, it's not about manners, it's about the Highway Code and the law. I know I keep repeating myself but that really is what it comes down to. Imagine this thread the other way round: 'Is it too much to ask that drivers acknowledge or thank me when I stop walking to let them go through a green traffic light?'
Sounds bizarre IMO.

As for 'assuming that their foot on the crossing automatically makes my brakes work', drivers should already be on alert and slowing, or ready to slow, when they're approaching any kind of pedestrian crossing.

No.

Drivers stopping is about compliance with the highway code.

People acknowledging drivers stopping is about manners.

If you get a bus, do you thank the driver when you get off? Of course you do. He was doing what he has to do, but it is still manners to say "thank you" and it makes the world a little bit of a nicer place/

How sad to see so many people who have no courtesy or manners. I always acknowledge drivers who stop when I'm crossing, drivers who have given way in a narrowed road, AND I thank the bus driver when I get off the bus.

YABU when I first started driving I remember being really surprised that anyone would say thanks. To me it would be like waving thanks at traffic lights.

Or if I was driving down a road and someone in a side road was stopped and said thanks.

It's just what you are legally meant to do. It's not a favour.

What catgirl and N & M said.

I always say thankyou. Regardless of the law they have mildly inconvenienced themselves for my benefit. In the same way that I say thanks to shop assistants who help me despite them being paid to do so.

I also think that people who wander vaguely across crossings without stopping or checking the traffic are asking for trouble because law or not one day a car won't stop and they'll get hit and the fact that it was their right of way won't make the injuries better. Some car drivers are dangerous twats, a fact that should never be forgotten.

I bet that Liz Jones never thanks anyone. Who wants to be like her?

Am also surprised at lack of manners shown on this thread! A nod of thanks or a smile costs nothing. I always think that pedestrians who don;t show this simple expression of thanks seem awfully self-entitled and rude!

The worst thing is when a driver magnanimously waves you across a pedestrian crossing, as if they're doing you a great favour. It's arrogant. I want to shake pedstrians who do a craven nod/wave/thank-you as they scurry across a crossing; it just adds to the feeling, common IMO, that drivers are superior to pedestrians.

Bollocks.

I sometimes gesture to people in a "please go ahead" sort of way, usually if they appear to be hesitant about crossing. It's just to reassure them that I have seen them .... not at all arrogant, or that I think I'm doing them a favour.

And I appreciate it when I in my turn am a pedestrian. You seem to forget that drivers are also pedestrians at other times.

I'm fairly certain that the highway code says that a driver should never motion to a pedestrian to cross the road.

It does belgo, as they cannot guarantee that a driver coming the other direction will also stop.

I've actually been waved across the road before, but as I've seen a car coming the other way (fast) I haven't moved. For some reason the driver who had stopped took offence at me not wanting to get run over

That's true, but there's no harm in letting the pedestrian see that I, at least, am aware of them. It's up to them to check in other directions.

I never "wave them across" - rather I make an "after you" gesture, the sort you might make when letting someone precede you through a doorway. There's a difference.

that's true Empusa.

Natters and others talking about lack of manners; I practise appropriate courtesy and politeness towards road users. I wait until it is safe to cross before I do so, so as not to endanger or put out drivers. When at a zebra crossing I look at oncoming drivers to make sure they've seen me and they can see I'm going to cross, so I don't take them by surprise. If a driver is kind enough to stop for me before I reach a zebra crossing because they have guessed that I'll want to cross, I thank/acknowledge them. If a driver goes above and beyond by letting me cross somewhere that's not an official crossing (which I try to avoid doing), I thank/acknowledge them for doing so, too. I do not lack manners.

No, I haven't forgotten that people in cars are sometimes pedestrians too. That would be a weird thing to forget. To spell it out, I'm not dividing people into 'drivers' and pedestrians'; obviously here I'm talking about the way people behave when they're driving cars, because that's what this thread's about ...

If you use the argument that pedestrians should thank road users because they've 'mildly inconvenienced themselves' to stop at a pedestrian crossing, then by the same logic road users should thank pedestrians who mildly inconvenience themselves by stopping at a red man to 'allow' road users to go through a green traffic light. That has never happened to me. And neither would I expect it.

"then by the same logic " But it's got nothing to do with logic. Politeness frequently has nothing to do with logic.

I am not impolite to road users. I've given examples of this.

but giving examples of when you choose to be polite and when not is pointless. For every example of "road users should thank pedestrians who mildly inconvenience themselves by..." you can give, an example of general politeness can be given in return.
There is no justification for not being nice and polite, and walking in front of, in full view of, a driver who has stopped, is prime oportunity to show 'niceness' to another person.

Horse riders always thank the driver who has driven slowly and carefully past their horse. Should they not thank the driver because "the driver has to drive slowly and carefully"? (it's example tennis isn't it?)

Ladyclarice - you seem to put a lot of thought into who deserves your politeness and who doesn't. maybe it would be easier to just simply be polite to all people? just a thought.... :)

A driver has never thanked or acknowledged me for stopping at a red man/green traffic light to 'let' them drive through. Does that make them impolite? By my reasoning, no; by people on this thread who disagree with me, yes.

six, 'maybe it would be easier to just simply be polite to all people?' I'm not being impolite or rude when I don't acknowledge drives who stop at pedestrian crossings; I'm just applying the same standards as drivers apply to pedestrians, as outlined in the paragraph above.