To think that greeting people with 'how are you?' is stupid when only 'fine' or 'very well thank you? is an acceptable response?

[LizzieMint73]

Am I the only person that hates 'how are you? or similar as a greeting? It seems that fine or good or well is the only acceptable response which clearly is not always going to be the case, but if you say anything else you just get an odd look - this is obviously a social nicety that's gone completely over my head What is wrong with 'hello'?

Eg, Yesterday the supermarket checkout kid greeted me with 'how are you today?' to which I said Um, I've got toothache, which was the truth as I had the most horrendous toothache, backed up by the purchase of the strongest painkillers available in the supermarket, accompanied by a small pile of comfort food. He wouldn't have looked at me more shocked if I'd said 'I've just murdered my entire family and I'm here because I've bloody run out of bin bags and bleach'

So AIBU in responding such an enquiry with something resembling the truth (well as much as I want to reveal to a nosy stranger*) or should I just lie and give a bland fine/good/well?

*When did it become acceptable for checkout/bank staff to feel the need to interrogate customers on how they are/what they are doing today/what they are spending the money they are taking out of the bank on? I'm sure this is actually some stupid customer service 'policy' from their employers rather than the staff themselves to spontaneously make the enquiry but I don't want to have to discuss details of my life with a stranger - why would they be interested anyway - I don't want to know about what they're doing later or what they spend the money they earn in said shop or bank or details of their health and wellbeing!

LizzieMint73

I think in your particular situation your are correct in your suspicion the context was the real problem i.e. supermarket or bank staff or anyone in simlar jobs asking "how are you"?

They are told to use such greetings to every customer and I'm sure most couldn't care less about the answer so your honest reply naturally surprised the poor assistant.

InstantAtom... oh absollutely... and on the phone too.

Them: "Hello, Mrs Lying, how are you today?"
Me: "Who is this?"
Them: "I hope you're having a pleasant weekend, are you doing anything special?"
Me: "I don't take sales calls, I'm not interested in whatever it is, take my number off your list...."
Them: "This is NOT a sales call, I'm ringing to offer you...."
Me... incandescent with rage... "Never call me agggaaaiiiinnnnn...." slams phone down.

Round these parts a common greeting (amongst some people is " All right?" which seems to serve instead of hello and how are you rolled into one. THe correct resposnse is just to say "all right?" back.

"How are you can" be a dangerous question. I had a relative who would tell you at length. Two hours (or more later) I would still be trying to edge out of the door and she would still be telling me!