I hate to comment on others parenting, BUT...

[BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability]

I've just seen a post on facebook saying that someone is proud that their 6 week old baby has just eaten a whole jar of puree...

Has anyone else seen examples of interesting parenting first hand that they thought were the stuff of MN myth? I honestly didnt think that people this, ahem, naive existed!

"If his parents had stuck to the 'he won't starve' mantra he may have been hospitalised"

This is not a normal scenario, and parents should be cautious on basing their whole approach to dealing with a fussy eater on the assumption that their child is likely to give themselves malnutrition if they're not given the food they are familiar with and find acceptable.

I'm another with Wallis & Bumbly & consequently DD will eat pretty much anything (bar meat & quiche) .....

& she is one stubborn Moo, so trust me there have been some MAJOR stand offs in the early days & it was BLOODY HARD WORK ....but I am twice as stubborn & didn't give in ....even if it meant her going to bed without food, so be it, as it meant she learned quickly it was my way or nothing.....I DID sometimes have to think outside the box when she hit her fussy phase though, I suppose a bit "Lola & Charlie" in that everyday healthy foods became something "special" beans & pulses were various fairy & pixie foods for example...it worked

but I do believe the main thing was I didn't give in ...EVER.... she also didn't have ANY sweets or Chocolate, fizzy drinks, crisps etc etc until she was past the toddler stage, she was told all the brightly packaged junk foods at DCs eye level in the Supermarkets weren't human food, but for whatever Character they used in the advert.....she still only sweets at weekends & special occasions & not in the morning.....she can now be trusted to Police herself on that & has a fantastic understanding of what is good healthy food for her age, & understands it fuel for your body & the wrong fuel isn't good for you

I can appreciate that lots of factors can come into play & mean that its not so easy with extended family giving wrong foods etc...we've had that too, but DD knows it won't happen at home.

I also understand that with SN kids it can be a massive challenge, we have close friends with SN DCs & were as they have had to give into things that they wouldn't dream of with their other kids, but they have also found ways of making sure that DC does eat as healthily as possible, ie: our friends Autistic boy will eat nothing but Kentucky Chicken & white bread ham sandwiches & really WOULD have starved himself if not given these because he just can't handle the texture of other things, but he will eat some soft none seeded fruits....though I do think having a Gran who works with SN & spotted his problems very early helped in that a lot, in that she had a good understanding of WHY he refused & kicked off at a lot of things & found ways around that...so perhaps the late diagnoses for a lot of SN DCs doesn't help families set down the right dietary foundations, which is very :( & not the families fault

& I'm sorry, but IMHO there will never be an excuse for giving DCs a mars bar for breakfast - I really hope that was a joke :(

yes it was a joke ,they have red bull on their coco pops usually

yes it was a joke ,they have red bull on their coco pops usually - pleased to hear it - I suppose the red bull is one way to wake them up

Those in favour of sending children to bed hungry, what do you do when they wake in the night screaming and unable to sleep and waking the neighbours?

can't answer that for sure, as mine never did that I presume because she knew it wouldn't work - but I'm pretty sure I would have still stuck to my guns & not given in - I have NEVER given into her over anything & she has done similar things which might have been embarrassing had I been one to embarrass easily

There's also competitive parenting from the other angle - The 'I am so superior because I am so laid back and you all need to lighten up' brigade.

This line between starving your children and letting them go hungry is fast blurring.
Nobody is advocating starving you children, rather ensuring they have nutritionally valuable dinner, meaning, nothing wrong with having them feel hungrier between lunch and the dinner, dinner will be eaten.
noblegiraffe love, from toddlerhood onwards children don't wake up because they are hungry.
Worth bearing in mind, no child in the developed world will starve to death, it just doesn't happen.

The 'I am so superior because I am so laid back and you all need to lighten up' brigade Oh Yes!! - I've met those ones too

Perhaps, strictlovingmum, you should meet my DS, because lack of evening meal definitely affects his sleep.

If you have no answer as to what to do, perhaps you should not judge me for slipping him an extra yoghurt to save our sanity.

Rockinhippy, screaming through the night and waking the neighbours is not merely embarrassing. Perhaps you have had the fortune of never being severely sleep deprived while trying to hold down a demanding job.

On the contrary noblegiraffe I see nothing wrong with a yogurt to supplement the dinner, after the reasonable amount of real food has been eaten, but I still don't believe that children wake up because they are hungry, same as the adults don't.
And oh yes I know too well what it means dealing with a fussy eater, DS 16 was manipulating fussy eater, with no medical reasons to be so, he food manipulated his own way till about the age of seven.
When me and DH had just about enough, we where at the end of out tether, just then we managed to turn the corner, on the good advice given by elderly grandma's sister, we stopped giving in, I started serving three square meals, cutting out all of his "he can have this instead" foods.
DS today is a healthy 16 year old, strappy, tall and strong, with beautiful teeth, hard to believe he is the same child.

Um, how do you suggest I get him to eat a reasonable amount of food he doesn't want to eat, hold him down, force his mouth open and shove it in? He gets extra yoghurt if he doesn't eat any of the main meal. Maybe some breadsticks too.

As for not waking because he's hungry, he wakes anyway, because he's a crap sleeper. He can't get back to sleep because he's hungry.

Rockinhippy, screaming through the night and waking the neighbours is not merely embarrassing. Perhaps you have had the fortune of never being severely sleep deprived while trying to hold down a demanding job

Actually I have - I was so severely sleep deprived whilst holding down a VERY stressful & demanding job AND commuting quite a distance that I ended up very ill

I'm not judging you BTW, which you seem to be taking my being able to stick to my guns as doing - we are all different personalities & so are our kids & some of us find it easier to stand up to people than others & that includes our kids - thats just life

still shocked at the harassed Mum I saw giving her toddles red bull though, there will never be an excuse for that - IMHO there is no reason why such young DCs should even know what it is

"The 'I am so superior because I am so laid back and you all need to lighten up' brigade"
But they tend to be the experienced parent who have been there and done it(like usualsuspect) and realise life is too short to be so uptight about food.

Surely it is far better to have a relaxed parent than a control freak! Food issues are usually about control!

Both my teenagers have been good eaters and know how to eat sensibly. If DS 15 goes out for a day with his mates, they often have a picnic/bbq and he will just as likely to come home with fruit as a bar of chocolate.
I very much doubt that the "lets ban everything" brigades children are really any healthier than the parents who are more relaxed.

Having squash as baby/toddler didn't stop DS from becoming a fit 6ft.

"I'm not judging you BTW, which you seem to be taking my being able to stick to my guns as doing"

Do you not realise, Rockinhippy, how patronising you are being? I'm able to stick to my guns, obviously you can't but that's fine??

We seem to differ in that you see refusing to give a screamingly hungry child food as virtuous and I see it as cruel.

noblegiraffe children learn quickly, no three spoonful of dinner, no yogurt, simple.
It is you who dictates the terms not other way around, no screaming, holding down, force feeding, but at the same time, rest of you at table tucking in without giving attention to to fussy DS, I am sure soon will bear the fruits.
As I said I have been there, because DS we postponed having a another child for 11 years, we were that traumatised by his fussiness.
Slight case cruel to be kind proved successful for us.
Our DD is a complete opposite easy going girl, with a grown up pallet not fussy or picky at all, thank havens for that.

We seem to differ in that you see refusing to give a screamingly hungry child food as virtuous and I see it as cruel - cruel in the SHORT term - NOT in the long term - & I'm not even going to bother trying to explain myself as regards whether I am patronising you or not - read it as you will, your prerogative - I know I didn't mean it that way - different horses & all that

& nocake - I've some lovely photos of my DD munching on bags of chips - theres nothing wrong with chips, or any junk foods so long as they are not the main diet, I personally just found it easier to train MY DDs food habits by saving that sort of thing until she was a little older,

Bruffin, if someone has experience in raising their children and has come to that conclusion then fine. Other parents will raise their children differently, have different experiences and will come to a different conclusion does that make their opinion any less valid just because it isn't the same as yours?

You can monitor what your young children eat without being a 'control freak'. Most people do place certain restrictions on food - no snacks before meals, no sweets in the morning, only 1 packet of crisps a day - whatever. Everyone draws a different line.

Full stop and capital letter missing on first para after conclusion! Silly iPhone! :)

SLM, 2 points. 1. Withholding yoghurt doesn't force him to eat his dinner. Withholding yoghurt means he goes to bed hungry and guarantees a dreadful night's sleep. If you have a crap sleeper, you will know the joy that discovering something that helps them sleep better brings. Like a full tummy.

1. Yoghurt contains calcium which he needs in his diet, it is not a treat or reward for eating the savoury part of his meal.

Dear noblegiraffe how old is DS?

I think the thread's tangented a bit here, but can I just add that there is a girl in reception at my dds' school who has a bottle of Lucozade in her lunch box every day! She's a big girl, and her mum is too