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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to send my DD to the 'less good' nursery...

22 replies

FriggFRIGG · 03/08/2011 12:29

so um,i dont post here much

but,we had DD 'booked in' to a nursery,was lovely,if a bit OTT (think ballet twice a week!) and very very close,fab, i thought,until i got a phone call saying they'd made a mistake,and overbooked the amount of free place's,so i could either pay (we cant afford to) or give up the placeHmm

SO i now have to find DD a place at very short notice,she's due to start in september!
i have found two nursery's with an open place.

.0#1*: pros:
is about 20/25mins walk away,has a HUGE outdoor play area,and one of the women who works there seems really lovely.toilets are all kid size,everything is 'built for purpose' has brill lunches.DD LOVED it when she was there,made a 'friend' etc.she can attend whatever days/sessions i want her to.

cons:
it's very disorganised,toys all over the place,some storage but not well maintained,there is paint flaking in HUGE patches on the bathroom floor and walls. manager seem pre occupied and one of the nursery staff kept wandering about a bit listlessly.the puddings are EVERYDAY and a bit odd (i know i know im ridiculous!)

#2:pros:
her GM works there,i know its well staffed.
they go for lovely countryside walks.
organised free play and some structured activity's.

cons:
i would have to get 4 buses a day,she has to attend 5x per week for 3hrs a time. 1hr of that will be travelling for me.the busses also go at odd times so she would have to be dropped 10mins early and picked up 10mins early.
no outdoor play area.not 'built for purpose'

HELP ME! i have NO frigging idea what to do!

OP posts:
hocuspontas · 03/08/2011 12:41

Why does she have to go to nursery? Neither sound ideal to me.

ChocolateTeacup · 03/08/2011 12:45

there is paint flaking in HUGE patches on the bathroom floor and walls - This is a big concern tbh and I would be looking at childminders in the area as well if there are no other nurseries

redskyatnight · 03/08/2011 12:45

I'd send her to the first and see how it goes. I'm guessing if nursery #2 has places at this stage in the year it's quite likely to have in 2 or 3 months time if you change your mind. Not worth that sort of journey or aggro for 3 hours a day and arguable benefits imo.

Seems like your main worries about #1 is that it appeared disorganised (but you could level that complaint about DD's old nursery and it was anything but) and some (possibly unfounded) worries about staffing.

Do you know any parents of children already at (either) nursery (or who have just left)? Might help put your worries at ease.

Original poster
FriggFRIGG · 03/08/2011 12:56

no i dont no any of the children at either unfortnatly.

she needs to go to nursery,she will be one of the youngest in her year at school and i feel without any kind of 'easy' transition,she will have a VERY hard time in a year when she goes to school,
also we both need time off from each other,and DS need's some 1 to 1 time.

i suppose a child minder is an option,but will i be able to get a free place??

OP posts:
Original poster
FriggFRIGG · 03/08/2011 12:56

unfortunately

OP posts:
Grumpla · 03/08/2011 12:58

No way I would be getting 4 buses a day!

First nursery - could you perhaps raise some of these questions with them in a non-confrontational way, if you are really bothered by them?

TBH a bit of mess wouldn't really bother me especially if you visited in the middle of a session.

Original poster
FriggFRIGG · 03/08/2011 13:04

now,mess is mess in a nursery,i understand that,
but it was a bit more than that IYSWIM.
Then again DD really liked it there,so maybe another visit??

4 buses is a bit mental,id have to drag DS along with us too....

OP posts:
Tryharder · 03/08/2011 13:08

Sorry, did you say that your DD's grandmother works there? Couldn't she pick her up (assuming she drives).

I would make a fuss at the first nursery if it were me and demand an explanation, report them to Ofsted. What do they mean their free places have run out?????

Original poster
FriggFRIGG · 03/08/2011 13:11

they are a private nursery,so they only have a certain amount of places,we were the last ones to 'book' a place,so we got the bootHmm

yes DD's grandmother works there, but she doesn't drive,its out in the little village she lives in,so would be totally out of her way anyway.

OP posts:
Journey · 03/08/2011 13:11

I'd ask the original nursery how they managed to overbook the number of free spaces, where my DC was on the list, and why my DC was taken off the list (unless you paid). I would do this in person rather than over the phone. I would ask for my DC to be put on their waiting list. I'd defiantely challenge their decision.

I'd probably go for nursery one if I didn't get any where with the original nursery. Four buses to nursery two is far too much.

SandStorm · 03/08/2011 13:13

I would also query the lack of free spaces at the first nursery. How has this happened and did you have anything in writing from them?

Original poster
FriggFRIGG · 03/08/2011 13:14

TBh,i dont really want her to go there anymore,they were rather snooty about it when i said we wouldnt/couldnt pay.

OP posts:
hocuspontas · 03/08/2011 13:14

I think I would be querying the overbooking of free places Hmm. Is that allowed?

All that travelling would put me off. Providing buses are on time you are only going to have 2 hours before leaving again, that's not including getting ready etc. Say they cancel them? What if your dd is ill and needs picking up early?

If these are your only options then I would be looking at a childminder for a couple of mornings a week if you feel you need a break, don't know about vouchers, and keep up with other activities. Maybe look again for the final term before she starts school. Lots of children don't go to nursery. Just because it's free I think everyone thinks it's necessary.

chubbleigh · 03/08/2011 13:15

If somewhere has got the right 'vibe' it will be fine, and your child will be happy. My ds went to a really ramshakle nursery in an old scout nut that barely passed muster with OFSTED, on first sight it made your hair curl. He absolutely loved it, the kids were well cared for by lovely friendly staff and he couldn't wait to get up there in the mornings. Later, when we moved, he went somewhere purpose built with good OFSTED etc. but he wasn't nearly so happy there.
I think your child is showing you the way to go.

hocuspontas · 03/08/2011 13:16

Apart from council-run nurseries and those attached to schools, isn't all pre-school provision private?

Original poster
FriggFRIGG · 03/08/2011 13:17

i need her to go to nursery.i am at the end of my tether with the DC and i need the break.

also,DD is really looking forward to it,it's all she talks about....

OP posts:
SandStorm · 03/08/2011 13:17

Have a look at this site with regard to where you can use your vouchers. Some childminders will take them but you'll need to double check.

spiderpig8 · 03/08/2011 13:19

You say the second nursery is disorganised, but the first one doesn't sound that organised if it is overbooking !!
the 'ballet twice a week' nurserty sets alarm bells ringing TBH it seems as though it's more about impressing parents than anything!

Original poster
FriggFRIGG · 03/08/2011 13:20
Smile

she does seem to much prefer it there...

OP posts:
Original poster
FriggFRIGG · 03/08/2011 13:21

thats what i thought spider!!

OP posts:
Original poster
FriggFRIGG · 03/08/2011 13:21

thankyou sandstorm i'll check.

OP posts:
PicaK · 03/08/2011 19:40

Why don't you ask about the paintwork - it might be getting sorted out over the summer.

If your DD was happy there then that's your query answered - neither of you need the bus hassle either.

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