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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that wheelchairs should be priority on buses?

620 replies

mamadivazback · 02/08/2011 21:05

My DS and I were on the bus today coming home from the town when I noticed a woman I vaguely know to speak to in the queue behind about 8 people with her 6YO DD who is in a narrow childs wheelchair and her DP with 2 year old son in small stroller so we waved, as you do.

Now the bus was about half full and 2 girls got on with their children in pushchairs, one with a very large Emmaljunga type and the other with a stroller and both children were happily sitting up by themselves and looked to be about 18 months old but neither thought to fold their pushchair when the lady tried to get her DD on, she had taken her DS out so she could fold pushchair and all sit together but the bus driver told her she could not get on as there were already 2 pushchairs onboard so she had to wait behind in the rain for the next bus.

I know pushchairs are entitled to use the bus but I thought you had to fold them if a wheelchair user was getting on and was quite shocked when the bus driver refused her a ticket, I spoke to her later on and she said it has happened a few times and it's just bad luck but I really don't think it's fair.

OP posts:
SiamoFottuti · 03/08/2011 19:44

its not practical though. How many spaces do you want for prams? 2? 4? 6? And where are all the other passengers going to sit then? And are you happy to pay double the fare as they will fit less paying customers on to fit the prams in? Never mind the cost of retro-fitting the buses..or do you just want them to make new buses?

Haven't really thought it through, have you?

WhoseGotMyEyebrows · 03/08/2011 19:48

Yeah it's just so tricky. I suppose the toddler needs to sit still on a seat (and we all know toddlers don't particularly like sitting still), someone needs to hold the baby for you, you need to take the shopping off the back of the pushchair . . . actually you have to do that before taking out the baby otherwise it will tip over backwards, put the shopping in the bag area whilst keeping an eye on the toddler, take all the extra stuff out of the basket underneath and find somewhere to put that, fold up the pushchair and fingers crossed it will actually fold up! (had a tandem for a while and there was no chance with that!), put it in the area for buggys but isn't that already taken up with your shopping and probably someone else's shopping etc too, all whilst still keeping an eye on or running after the toddler and praying the helpful person doesn't drop the baby or try to kiss the baby with their coldsore infected mouth, retreive baby and sit down with toddler. But then what if there are no seats? You can't stand and hold a baby and hold onto the hand of the toddler and onto a rail all at the same time. What if the baby needs milk? The milk is still in the changing bag which is under the shopping which is under the buggy!

mum0ftw0 · 03/08/2011 19:52

they've upgraded buses to fit on 4 prams in one area, as opposed to only one fitting on in another area.
All buses following suit and upgrading to holding 4 prams would be fantastic (or 6 would be better).
They can do it the way they have already done it in other areas.

No I don't think I should pay double if my ASD (OR NON ASD) child needs a pram and is still under the age of 4.
if he were over the age of 4 I'd pay a child ticket liek everyone else.

Andrewofgg · 03/08/2011 19:53

The unencumbered (especially if without bags of their own) can and should help by giving up a seat, holding the buggy still while you take off the baby and the bags, folding it for you, arranging your bags - even holding the baby if you are happy about that - but if they do, and they often do, a word of thanks is not an optional extra, it is an obligation, and it doesn't always happen.

mum0ftw0 · 03/08/2011 19:57

haha exactly whosegotmyeyebrows, that's just how it is.
Some real talk from someone who'd been there.
But you get through it somehow, god,hah.

I've been holding up one pram with my arm (folded and couldnt fit intoluggage area) breastfeeding the baby, calling 'come here darling' in a strained voice, while 3yo with asd runs up and down the moving bus.

It's very difficult to fold a double pram, I did manage it and remember hurling it into luggage with all my might using one arm while holding baby in other arm.
God knows how.

Definately need more pram spaces

devientenigma · 03/08/2011 20:45

yeah but I gave a real account of my ds having to give up or go without a disabled space on the bus when he was in his disabled buggy. As he didn't walk, stand or crawl I left him sitting in the walkway until I hauled on his folded mac major which ended up the size of me as I am only small and that was after I hauled his heavy deadweight bulky body. His bag full of clothes and nappies etc and a bigger child has a bigger bag. His footrest which he needs to keep him grounded due to sensory problems. His raincover and hood which have to come off as they don't fold with the buggy. This was needed most times due to medical and sensory needs. His oxygen tank to help him breathe. His other sensory equipment which can be bulky and is needed for anything outside the home. Then should I of let my ds sit on the cold wet dirty floor where people walk with his medical conditions?

devientenigma · 03/08/2011 20:47

and that was before any bags of shopping.

mum0ftw0 · 03/08/2011 21:01

sad that any baby or disabled child should have to sit on the floor.
People could be more helpful
and not just think pram users are a great big inconvinience.

Riveninside · 03/08/2011 21:07

Oh for goodness sakes eyebrows, everybody managed in the past. Until last year there were no accessible buses on our route. All them mums seemed to manage just fine. I managed with 3 under 3 and a double buggy and shopping. Sure its a pain in the rase but we had to fold as all buses had steps and that central bar.
And now im a wheelchair user i cant believe how easy it was compared to life now.

2shoes · 03/08/2011 21:09

Riveninside talks sense

ThePosieParker · 03/08/2011 21:11

Common sense must prevail, my baby had a pushchair that was huge when folded and I had a CS and so I would not have been able to get about if I had to give up space for a wheelchair user. Travelling on a bus alone, trying to fold a huge pushchair alone.

Of course if the pushchair is easily folded that's another story.

Sirzy · 03/08/2011 21:13

When using buses abroad recently we HAD to take DS out of the pram and put the pram under the bus in the luggage area. They had a few spaces on for wheelchairs on some buses but prams couldn't use them.

That was the norm, nobody complained and it wasn't hard to do really!

ThePosieParker · 03/08/2011 21:13

My mother couldn't afford a pushchair, 30 odd years ago, nor the bus....so she walked!!! Perhaps most Mums should consider walking too, get rid of those muffin tops!!!

(Oh and I used a babybjorn when travelling on a bus)

Sirzy · 03/08/2011 21:14

I never understand why people who HAVE to use the buses a lot dont buy prams which are easy to fold - surely that makes life easier for you?

ThePosieParker · 03/08/2011 21:16

Well, yes there's always that. But they are a public service and should really cater for all. Besides easily folding buggies are shit for the baby's back, never go flat.

TimeWasting · 03/08/2011 21:16

Sirzy, I wasn't expecting to have a CS. The walk to town wouldn't have been a problem if I hadn't. If I'd known then what I know now then I would have bought a small easy to fold buggy to start with.
So inexperience and blind optimism.

SiamoFottuti · 03/08/2011 21:16

because they are idiots?

TimeWasting · 03/08/2011 21:17

Nice.

ThePosieParker · 03/08/2011 21:20

Timewasting, I think Sirzy was referring to NT babies not children with disabilities.

ThePosieParker · 03/08/2011 21:22

(But Sirzy I didn't expect to not be able to drive for six weeks)

Basically be decent, put others first, if and when you can. I don't think that means that a mother and baby automatically takes second place to someone with disabilities, but if a pushchair can be folded it should be.

TimeWasting · 03/08/2011 21:26

Yes, Posie, we were just a naive first time mum after a CS and a screaming NT baby.
I got a fold-up buggy eventually, but I wasn't expecting to HAVE to catch the bus.

Riveninside · 03/08/2011 21:26

I had ceasarions too. And there were no spaces on buses or level access. You folded or walked.
Disabled people campaigned for years fir accessible buses as many disabled people cannot walk or cannot drive. If parents want more spaces, campaign. The ones on the buses give priority to wheelchair users. If you dont like it, tough. Being disabled is a damn sight harder than having a baby in a buggy and shopping. And generally lasts a lifetime.
If you dont believe me then i will give you dd in her wheelchair for a week and you can get her on and off the bus and deal with the entitled arseholes who put their prams in the wheelchair space.

littletreesmum · 03/08/2011 21:27

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ilovemydogandMrObama · 03/08/2011 21:29

I saw a bus a few days ago that said, 'buggy friendly...' which made me Angry. what about 'wheelchair friendly...' Hmm

devientenigma · 03/08/2011 21:31

well said riv, I was just about to say similar!! It's a shame so many are temporarily inconvinenced (sp) unlike people wit disabilities who have to live like this every day of there life.
Oh and the disabled child in the buggy I described earlier is now an extremely heavy, extremely aggressive, non compliant 10 yo.