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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not tell my dd that she is having her mmr booster at 9.10am?

19 replies

bluebell82 · 02/08/2011 07:38

she is such an advanced little girl but last year our doctor thought she had menegitus (sp) which resulted in a massive injection in her thigh and then her being blue lighted to hospital. as you can imagine she is terrified of the doctors and i have only just managed to get her through the doors in the last few months.

would you tell her?

sorry for posting on aibu but i know this is the fullest threads!!

OP posts:

squeakytoy · 02/08/2011 07:44

how old is she?

CogitoErgoSometimes · 02/08/2011 07:44

If she really is terrified of doctors then you need to start the ball rolling by talking positively about them this morning. Say how you're all going and how you're looking forward to seeing Dr So-and-so... do they have toys and books to look at etc? Everything nice you can think of, basically. Take a smiling and breezy approach - give no hint of anxiety on your part. If you just pitch up and she has no idea where she's going I think the reaction will be worse. And if you let slip that you're at all worried about her reaction, ditto. Take something nice with you for her to have afterwards. A sweet treat perhaps.

Pelagia · 02/08/2011 07:52

Poor love. I can understand her fear after an ordeal like that.

I'd tell her that you are going to do something she loves (e.g. the park to play with some bubbles/new football/whatever) today but first you are popping into the doctors, as they have some special potion ready for her that will keep her strong and healthy.

Would be worth calling the surgery (out of DDs earshot) just to warn them about her anxiety in advance too, so they can be extra welcoming.

Have been through similar with DS - it will pass. Good luck!

itisnearlysummer · 02/08/2011 07:54

Before we took DD for her swine flu vaccination we role played beforehand with her dr kit when she gave mummy and daddy an injection that felt like a sharp scratch but that didn't bother us to much.

We sat in the waiting room watching child after child coming out of the nurse's room wailing.

DD went in, sat down had the injection, smiled and said thank you to the nurse and then we left.

Nurse said she was the first child who hadn't been terrified and screamed.

What has her being advanced got to do with anything? What does 'advanced' mean?

itisnearlysummer · 02/08/2011 07:56

My point was just that if you keep it light and don't show your anxiety, make sure she feels relaxed and more in control then she might find the whole thing easier.

She will feel reassured by your confidence.

InfestationofLannisters · 02/08/2011 07:58

My DS is having his at the same time. He had the first part of the pre-school boosters earlier this year and from what I remember it was really swift compared to the things DD has had to have; blood taken and infusions etc

When I was little the doctors used to give sugar-lumps

Hope it goes well

plonker · 02/08/2011 08:02

I would talk it through with her tbh.

...and I completely agree that bright, breezy and honest is usually the best bet.

There's certainly no harm in offering a bribe treat for bravery either.

Good luck

Original poster

bluebell82 · 02/08/2011 08:04

thanks ladies- advanced was probably the wrong word, she has a very active imagination and mithers about everything.. so wrong word completely! i think i just meant old woman like instead of advanced! She is 3.5yrs old!

oh the joys of parenting, i'm just as bad when they had their injections as babies i nearly squeezed the air out of the lungs trying to hold them think that made them cry not the needle!

OP posts:

JsOtherHalf · 02/08/2011 08:10

When DS had his MMR booster recently I was holding a chocolate lolly for him to eat as it happened, his father held him on his lap. This was a real treat for him, so he didn't make too much fuss.

youmeatsix · 02/08/2011 08:14

yes i would tell her, as already said, in a bright and breezy manner
and would also tell her how we are going to the park/shopping/grandmothers etc afterwards, something she can focus on and look forward too, you can talk to her about this while she is having it done

if you dont, she may not be trusting in the coming few days, and be scared every time you go to the doctors (even to pick up prescriptions)

chicaguapa · 02/08/2011 08:18

I would also tell her as I think not doing so could mean there would be trust issues in the future.

For OP's sake I think she mentioned DD was advanced to demonstrate her ability to understand the significance of going to the doctors and remembering the last ordeal with having an injection.

Northernlurker · 02/08/2011 08:19

I would tell her. I accidentally didn't tell my dd about hers (we went for flu jab for older dd and whilst we were there the nurse offered to do dd). Three months later I had to take dd3 to A&E for a pulled elbow and she though she would be having an injection and didn't believe me when I said not. We got past it but it is very easy to lose their trust. In retospect I should have refused the injection and prepared her properly.

Mitmoo · 02/08/2011 08:49

If she is terrrified then prepare her for it as others have said.

EllenJaneisnotmyname · 02/08/2011 08:55

I agree that you must tell her, but if she's going to be really, really anxious and get herself very stressed, I'd leave it until just before you go (as it's today.)

EllenJaneisnotmyname · 02/08/2011 08:56

Bugger, too late, you've already left. Oh well, let us know how it went.

DeWe · 02/08/2011 09:17

Our nurse won't give an injection to a child who gets into the room before they've been told. She's says she's had so many times that parents do this, thinking they're being so clever getting the child into the room without fuss. Then the next time they come (and often subsequent times too) they're hysterical in the waiting room (or trying to get them into the waiting room) because they don't know what's going to happen.

halcyondays · 02/08/2011 10:31

DeWe, I've never really told my dds that they are going for injections and they have always taken them in their stride. They rarely even flinch, must gave high pain thresholds. So I think it depends on the child.

Original poster

bluebell82 · 02/08/2011 10:39

all done, i told her i didn't want it to be a shock like the menegitus needle was she was obviously pounced upon by the doctor when it was suspected so wanted this to be a bit calmer as you all advised.

she is fine, bag of jelly tots seemed to soothe any pain!

thank you

OP posts:

EllenJaneisnotmyname · 02/08/2011 10:42

That's great. Jelly Tots always cheer me up, as well!

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