To be worried about DP's health, esp risk of diabetes?

[TheJazzCat]

Have namechanged as DP knows my MN nickname. Sorry in advance for essay, this has just been niggling and I need some perspective.

DP is naturally tallish (just over 6', like all men ) and skinny - he has slender arms and legs. He has had a bit of a belly, though, ever since we met. I don't think it makes him unattractive, and before we moved to this area, I used to encourage him to exercise regularly and he was up for that. We eat pretty healthily, like a typical meal would be boiled pots, steamed veg, and panfried fish, or a veggie stirfry.

But - DP also has a major sugar addiction, and I am worried that as the years go by, this will catch up with him. Example: yesterday we went out for the day and he had two scoops of ice cream (as did I) and a fizzy drink, then when we got back, he opened a big bar of Green and Black's and had about half, and then after dinner, polished it off.

It is not uncommon for us to buy a pack of quite rich biscuits (say, triple choc or similar) and two bars of G&B's on the weekly shop, and he will eat that in a week, plus often having a slice of cake at lunchtime.

In the last year, he has put on a fair amount of weight - it shows on his face, and his trousers have gone up from a waist of about 34/5ish to nearing 40. He bought new trousers for work a few months back and went on about how he couldn't believe how much weight he'd put on, must improve, etc - but just last week he said he needed to buy some more trousers as the new ones were now too small.

I am not judging him. My weight swings from a size 10 to nearly a 14, and I am quite 'solidly' built. This isn't an issue of attraction. But I am worried about his future health if he goes on eating so much sugar on a daily basis, and specifically I feel like all those sugar spikes (cake at lunch, lots of chocolate in the evening) might be harmful.

Please tell me - AIBU? Is he at risk of diabetes or am I a precious worrywart?

A waist measurement of over 38 inches is a cause for concern in en ( I think it's 36 for women) , it's not particularly his sugar intake but his general weight gain that is pushing him towrds diabetes.
Can you not scare him with talk of the erection problems that go hand in hand with it?
Weight gain around the middle is also a factor in heart disease, the very first sign of possible circulatory / heart problems is often erectile dysfunction.

My BIL is quite overweight and diabetic, it doesn' stop him eating chocolate though .

Thanks for answering - erm he already has ED

This is not just down to weight-gain, he also has prostate issues, but we are only 30 and 31 respectively, and I am worried about this.

Is it true that ED can be a sign of heart issues, though?? I always suspected this myself but DP swears not.

Diabetes is not caused by eating sugar. Type II can be caused by being overweight, however.

That being said, you can't force him to lose weight or be healthy. He needs to decide to do that on his own. You can encourage him to eat right and exercise, but can't expect him to just do it because you say so.

ED is absolutely linked to heart issues , as it's micro-circulation, the penis is often the 1st thing to be affected by high BP and circulatory problems.
Have a look at the embarassing bodies website, one of their episodes featured men with health issues and they all had ED.
He's very young to be affected like this - he really does need to see a doctor.
Does he take saw palmetto or anything for his prostate problems?

www.bbc.co.uk/health/physical_health/sexual_health/erectile_dysfunction.shtml

Show him this.
He has to take responsiblity for his own health.

Thanks Tee - no I don't expect him to do as I say, just wondering whether i do actually have cause for concern. That is interesting to know about TII diabetes, I always if you were getting sugar rushes regularly your body lost the ability to deal with them, but obviously I'm wrong.

I do try to be positive/ gentle about it, like this week's shop, when he bought biccies and chocolate, and then spotted half price Ben & Jerry's, I said, no, let's leave it. And I try to get him out walking even just a short way every day, but it's not enough to lose weight.

Doesn't take anything for his prostate probs, Mal. When he talked to the GP in the past, they bunged some Viagra at him to 'fix' the ED . I think in part ED is because his prostate problems mean having an erection can be uncomfy sometimes, so it's a like a Pavlovian thing - but it's def got worse since he put on weight. Viagra doesn't fix anything underlying and has nasty side effects.

Thanks for the link. As it happens I need to see a specialist soon who is interested in ED so I might ask him then about this. Yes, he is very young for this, that's why I'm worried :(

Saw pametto is a natural/herbal supplement that is excellent for prostate health. Gingko biloba will help his circulation and Pomegranate juice is good too.

Hasn't he seen a specialist/Urologist?

Hi Mal, no, he hasn't. When you say to the GP that he has ED, they just prescribe Viagra. It gives him an erection but also a nasty headache later, and I don't want my partner to be in pain every time we have sex, so we've just left it.

I really want to march him down to the GP to get a referral but he just says 'All right, next month' sort of thing.

Sorry if this sounds really whingey, I just know some 40yo men who are coronaries waiting to happen, and I don't want this to happen to DP.