Do I pay the money?

[SacreLao]

Right bit of a situation this morning that has left me confused as to what to do and your help!

My mum looked after my daughter this morning who is 8 years old, had an appointment so asked her to babysit for an hour which she did.

During this time (and all this is information I have just found out) my mum let her play on her facebook account (my mum's account, my daughter is too young and not allowed one) on a game called Farmville.

I don't allow my daughter to play Facebook games at all, my mum dosn't know that I don't allow it as it has never been spoke about but I have never said I allow it either.

Anyway whilst playing on Facebook my daughter has managed to spend just over £70 from my mum's bank acocunt!

I enquired as to how this had happened and my mum explained that her card details are saved with Facebook as she pays for a few games and it means that no passwords etc. are required to buy items on these games hence my daughter was able to do it.

My mum came round very angry as her bank account has been emptied and made it clear she expects me to give her the money back. I do not under any circumstances have £70 to just hand someone, we are seriously struggling financially at the moment.

Here is my thoughts:

1. It was my mum who gave my daughter permission to play the game on her account, not me.
2. My mum was the person in charge watching my daughter at this time and so should have been supervising what she was doing online and not leaving her to do what she wants.
3. My mum was the one to save her card details to facebook and then give an 8 year old permission to play the game knowing they are stored.

What the hell do I do?

My mum has a nasty temper and I know full well if I refuse to pay this money it will all kick off, she has been known to make threats, bad mouth me to family, call social services with false reports etc. On top of this she has told my sister what happened who immediately sent me a text message saying you had better get that money quick to give her back.

They are all fuming at my daughter for doing this, she is 8 years old for god sake and had no idea what she was doing, it was the first time she had played the game, she did not know it charges real money!

Should I:

1. Pay the whole bill - would have to borrow money to do so
2. Pay half the bill - would have to borrow again but more managable
3. Refuse to pay - huge big kick off and family fall out

What would you do if it was your child?
What would you do if you were the person who this had happened to (ie. your grandchild)?

Congratulations.:) Your unicorn buying daughter sounds absolutely lovely and I'm sure her little sister or brother will be fab too. Your mum sounds bloody difficult and she's been very nasty over this and other things, by the sound of it. I think it's very nice of you to offer to pay half.

Hi Sacre. Nothing to add to this debate, but just wanted to say congrats on the pregnancy. By the way, your mother is homophobic. Not being accusing, my Dad is too, but you need to be realistic about it and be OK with yourself and clear that their attitude is not acceptable, and their problem. My father expects me to be grateful that he hasn't disowned me, and isn't he doing well given his 'conservative' upbringing. What a load of horse shit!

Spend the money on something lovely for your family instead and I hope you have a great pregnancy.

Joining in the congratulations!
FWIW I think your mother may have some sour grapeage?

• and I agree with posters who say she is homophobic. Not a nice thing to admit about your parents.

You sound very kind and thoughtful, as does your DD, though.

Congratulations on the baby!

And re your mother - you are far nicer than me, because I would be saying mother - YOU were in charge of her, YOU signed her in, YOU let her play, YOU left her to it, this is nobody's fault but your own, how dare you come to me demanding I give you your money back for something that is entirely your own fault? fuck off

Zynga won't give a flying fuck. Nor will Facebook. It's now compulsory to purchase FB credits in order to buy games cash. FB get a bigger slice of the pie that way.

The contract is with the grandmother, not the child, so that argument won't fly.

I don't see how Trading Standards can do anything about a US based company.

Sacre, please tell your mum NO. This whole situation is entirely of her own making.

Congratulations on your pregnancy. Relax and enjoy what it is in front of you.

My DD's patronus is a unicorn.

Don't pay. Your mum sounds like a nasty bully, and worse - what are you doing leaving your daughter with someone who calls social services on you? And pathetic that a woman her age is playing facebook games! Don't pay, and don't leave your DD with her again - bullies like your mum need stood up to.

Haven't read whole thread but not only would I not pay but I would be furious at my 8yo being left online with minimum to no supervision!

I agree with Edward! Shocking and very irresponsible of your mother.

OP - someone in all this is pulling your plonker! There is no unicorn for sale in FV at the moment for 300 or any other amount. Trust me. I know these things as sadly I am an FV addict! I'm still not convinced your DD could have done these things and think it's way more likely that she was spending your mum's Farm Coins which are built up over time but not actually bought for cash as is the case with Farm Cash.

Congratulations on the pregnancy!

Tbh, your mum and sister dont sound as if they bring much worth having into your life.

I would be seriously thinking of permanently ignoring them and concentrating on my own wee (but expanding) family if I were you

Really feel for your poor dd being so upset over this. It really is so easily done as we learned when DS ran up an internet bill of £117 in less than a week with his new phone. Luckily 3 were very understanding and wiped the slate clean (even though the account was under dh's name). Hope Farmville will do the same for you.

Thank you everyone!

Have spoken to the bank and facebook today and THANKFULLY they have agreed to refund the charges! :)

My mu does spend a lot of money on these games but never farmville, only cafeworld so they believed that it was an accidental purchase as no one spends so much money the first time they play.

CAFFEVALIUM - It was my daughter who told me she bought a unicorn, along with other things as well I imagine. She didn't know what was real money and what wasn't.

I am just so happy she is getting the money back, I have litterally pleaded on the phone!

Have not had to have a big row which I am pleased about!
I know I'm a huge wimp but my mum terrifies me to this day and I hate having to do or say something that I know will cause a bad reaction.

I suppose my mum is homophobic if you look at it from that point of view, I see her as more old fashioned really.

Not telling her about my pregnancy until AT LEAST 12 weeks as have a history of miscarriage and don't want the stress of any rows to put our baby more at risk. Just enjoying the time right now and will worry about it later.

Would also like to quickly point out that dispite my mum's problems she adores my children (I have a son too) and is normally very very good with them. We don't see eye to eye much and she has done some nasty things but she always been good to my children and is normally very caring etc.

This is the first time she has left either of my children to their own devices. Needless to say she won't be babysitting again however as very annoyed that my daughter was left unsupervised online :(

When my son bought £150 worth of currency for this app on my iPhone, I rang them up and explained what had happened. They were very understanding and agreed to refund it as a one off. Perhaps she could do something similar.

I now have a password so he can't do anything similar as it sounds like what your DD did is very similar to what my DS did. The trouble is children of that
at age (my son is also 8) just don't realise the implicatons.

Also, I don't think you should have to pay your mum that money back as she should have been watching what your DD was doing. However, to keep the peace perhaps you could offer to pay a token amount.

Hurrah! What a great outcome. Well done for sorting it out with such aplomb. Good luck with the pregnancy. I reckon everyone on here's rooting for you and hoping it goes well.:)

Well done Sacre :) Hope rest of your pregnancy goes well