To be told that if my 3.0 DD does not start to talk.....

[catwoman2011]

I went in for a review of my DD at nursery to be told that she does not communicate whilst she is there for her 16hspas week and that if she does not pick up her speech, we will be forced to send her to school.

We plan to home educate all of our children from the age of 5. I didn't have a very good experience of the 6 schools I went to and most of my qualifications have come from 16yrs in the TA. I now just have to do my degree, finish the DTLLLS and I get my PGCE which I hope use to tutor children after school in English and maths.

Now DD is fine at home (sometimes it is a job to keep her quiet) but at nursery they are concerned. They were happy that she was making friends but we go to ballet every week where she made friends instantly. There I was expecting to go in with her, when she held the teachers hand, said bye bye and closed the door behind them.

DD didn't talk for quite a while but we started using sign language at 18 months and since then she is coming on really well.

This isn't really about being told we cannot homeschool but more about not being able to choose as her responsible parents.

AIBU to think that when a woman has a baby that others seem to have the right to tell you how to bring up the child as if they are the property of the state??

Grrrr!

Cote, actually research shows that home educated children do better than schooled children on average. Including parents with no formal qualifications.
Both academically and socially. You may think whatever you like, research proves otherwise.

Home educated children don't generally 'sit alone with one's parents at home and study for years' anyway.

Personally I found school a waste of time. However, I also base my opinion on school v. home education on political and philosophical reasoning and educational research.

You should go over to the Home Education board and have a read. You might find it educational.

And actually, you said that social skills can only be learned in school.
Which is obviously not true.

Op, is there a particular reason why your dd will be in nursery for the next two years when 1) she is evidently not finding it a happy experience, and 2) this is the exact reason you cite for planning to reject a school based education for her.
Am I missing something?

"Apparently I have to apply to HE but I have found this isn't so. Also the nursery can advise ofstead to force me to send them to school if they feel she hasn't progressed enough..."`

Assuming that you're in England, you do NOT have to apply to HE nor do you have to tell anyone - ANYONE - of your intentions to do so. It is advised that IF the LA catch on to the fact that you are HE-ing then you provide them with sufficient info to reassure that you are educating FT according to DDs age, aptitude and ability. You can do this by sending them a philosophy of your plans and a brief idea of what you will be utilising in order to HE (eg, libraries, HE groups, computers, books, violin lessons, what have you).

So, nursery are bullying incompetents and you can tell them to fuck the fuck off.

They CANNOT advise OFSTED to force you to send DD to school. HE is regulated by local authorities BUT REGARDLESS LA'S DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO MONITOR YOU OR YOUR CHILD. Come to that they have no right to meet you or your child or see samples of work nor MUST you fill out any of their intrusive forms though some can word letters to make it SOUND like you must.

I'd suggest that you post on the HE board on here for support and the REAL laws... and if I were you I'd be withdrawing DD from the nursery as of now.

"However, school is an important part of a child's life and social experience."

Bullshit, Cote!

As is that it's not reasonable to deny your child a formal education.

The HE kids I know are far better educated and have better social skills than any state educated DC and the very vast majority of independently educated DC I know too.

It's not reasonable to conform to the norm just because it is the norm.

Sounds like the nursery workers are being madly defensive. She doesn't talk at nursery and is showing other signs of not be happy there. And they're trying to blame a decision which you might make 2 years in the future??

Bullying is not educational. It scars.
Seventeen years after leaving school I am still affected by the bullying I suffered, and the school's wildly ineffective and actually not particularly bothered attitude towards it.

It led to me making bad life choices in my late teens due to the battering my self esteem took at that time.

Why on earth should that be inflicted on children? It's inhumane.

Agreed Glitter. DD has just left an independent school especially for severely bullied children and is to re-enter (a new) mainstream state school in September. Having HE'd in the past I'll have no hesitation about doing so again if she comes even a tiny bit close to suffering the bullying she has in the past.

Aside: I find it admirable how well OP is ignoring this thread. (Wistful) wish I could ignore MN so easily.

cote, you don't really seem to know very much about HE tbh (or the potentially longterm effects of bullying for that matter!). You could look at it from another angle - the benefits of HE over school eg. One to one tuition, opportunity to cover subjects at your own pace, working at your own ability, fewer restrictions on what you learn and how and when, fewer distractions etc...

Re social skills, I very much doubt you would be able to pick out a HE child in a room full of children who were schooled by looking at their social skills and ability to interact with others.