AIBU to think sometimes adults should have nicer food to children?

[ImperialBlether]

Something on another thread made me think of this.

I was one of a very big family. My mum always cooked lovely home made meals.

Occasionally my dad (and sometimes my mum) would have different food to us. For example, they might have chops, when we'd have sausages. We loved sausages but we would have loved the chops, too. But when you have a very large family, how can you afford lamb chops for everyone? Half of my siblings were boys and ate a lot, too, so you'd be talking about three chops vs three sausages.

I never felt deprived because my dad had chops when I couldn't. It wouldn't have occurred to me. Similarly if he had Stilton and wouldn't let us taste it, I didn't feel deprived. Envious for quarter of an hour, maybe, but not deprived.

Now in my own family there are some things I like, eg fresh anchovies, which on the one hand I'm lucky my children won't eat anyway, but on the other I wouldn't want to pay for for all of us.

Obviously this is a financial issue. Given the money, my mum would have fed us all organic lamb chops morning, noon and night.

But if money is an issue, is it wrong (as many suggested on the bacon thread) that the children shouldn't eat what the parents eat? Shouldn't there be some privileges for being adult? (And of course I'm not suggesting children go hungry!)

Like some other posters, I have never understood the thinking behind giving children lesser quality food. Yes, I have at times secretly eaten chocolate after DD has gone to bed (I am sure we have all done that !) but that's because I don't want her to have too many sweets at a young age.

Food is really important to me - and I buy the best quality fresh food for my DD that I can afford. I love seeing her enjoying good food.

Mumblingragdoll I never said my kids got processed meat, I said that on occasion me and my dp meal is different maybe better than the kids, not that the kids were eating crap. My kids have a very balanced diet and eat loads of fruit and veg that does not mean me and my dp can't eat something a bit more luxoriuos as a treat. When you go out with your partner for a meal in a restaurant do you make sure the kids at home eat the equivalent to you. Oh and we don't keep specific food for us, my kids will eat almost anything put in front of them as family meals are important in our house, I am just saying that on occasion me and my dp eat differently to kids as a treat.

I would just make sure that me and DH got smaller portions of what was affordable, so the children could have some (they are smaller and therefore eat smaller portions anyway)

My husband would absolutely not save food for himself that he knew the kids would enjoy and he would also not buy something out of bounds to them.

Like my mum and the steak example (we got a few small chunks each, but we still got some), I would make sure we ate the same.

Special snacks for later in the evening if desire would be from our snack drawer, which we all have access to.

last post to cleverything

Is there anything that is so unaffordable that the only options are for only the two adults in the family have it , or give it up completely for life if the children have to be bought for?

Cleverything - both DD and I really love fresh fish (e.g. sea bass, which can be expensive). If I couldn't afford for both of us to have it, I would just get it for DD and have something else myself.

If we went to a cafe and could only afford once piece of a really nice cake, we would share it.

In that case cleverfish you buy them less often when you can provide them for everyone who wants them.

I can think of no meal I have I wouldn't let DS have, the idea of having "adult food" and "childrens food" just doesn't sit right with me.

I hate "childrens menus" with a passion. They would be on my Room 101 list.

I would give everyone small portions of the meat/fish (and scaled to how much they needed to eat relative to everyone else) and bulk the meal out with veg, pulses and potatoes (or rice, or noodles, or cous cows, or pearl barley, or whatever else was appropriate to the dish). There's no need for everyone to have a huge portion of meat or fish with every meal.

YABU. Priority goes to our daughter. We'd go without something if we only had enough for one person in the kitchen.

We always eat together, and the same thing, though.

I've been following this thread and also its another one of those things that just baffles me.

I wouldn't give my child "lesser food" just to keep them in their place and so they learn respect (which seems to be the main theme). If it was a case of cost we would just pad the meal out with other things so it goes further or have it less often.

What Sirzy said. I would never eat sea bass and give the children a cheaper fish . They love sea bass more than me anyway :).

Also, if DH and I had decided to have 9 kids, I'd have simply resigned myself to a life of budget cuts (which don't have to be crap or uninspiring). At least until they'd all grown up and we could afford to eat rib of beef or fillet steak.

I have a weekly menu plan. One side dp and I, the other the kids. Mainly because the are 4&2 and eat at 5pm, I eat when dp gets in at about 7.

However we LIVE out of our slow cooker, so our tea leftovers become the kids lunch the following day. So they eat what we eat in that regard. Their tea is just as good as ours(I would not make something I wouldn't eat) just different. As they grow older and can stay awake past 630pm we will all eat the same food.

We do have separate treats as wellmas family ones, because I bake lots!!

I think in general we all eat well, I cook from scratch most days. No real preference. Wine is mine alone though

I don't see DD as being in any way inferior to me.
She needs to respect my authority, and she needs to know that I will often make the final decision on things, for her own well being.

But there is absolutely no way I would think that I am more entitled to a food than her because I am an adult.

If you want to keep the best stuff for yourself then you certainly can because children are small and weak and wont be able to stop you

I don't agree that priority goes to the kids. We all eat the same meals within our family budget but we all matt equally.

Things might be different if I found myself in a famine situation or so poor that I could only afford to feed the kids or myself (and I mean feed us anything, not just posh food), but I'm not in that kind of situation. Thankfully.

Thank you emsies and megapixels - I completely agree.

*we all matter equally. Stupid iPad.

I can't abide children's menus either. I can't see why they can't have the same in smaller portions. I also disagree with people keeping DCs to a diet they can't keep to themselves e.g. DC get a rice cake and adult gets a chocolate biscuit.

My DC's love rack of lamb done on the bbq. Obviously lamb stew is a lot cheaper. If I couldn't afford lamb cutlets for all then we'd eat stew. I am that anyone would do different TBH.

If rack of lamb was that important we'd all have it once a month/6 weeks instead of weekly. I can't think of anything so expensive we'd have to forgo it completely