MIL arranges birthday party for husband but no communication with wife and child

[tinyizzy]

I have just found out from my husband's cousin that my MIL has invited all his family to her house to celebrate my husband's birthday. Great you may think, however, on asking my husband it transpires that we (wife and child inc) are going (without my knowledge). But ironically us (wife and child) have arranged a surprise weekend away for us 3 as a special treat for the same time party is to be held. Am I being unreasonable to expect to be consulted by MIL beforehand, and am I being unreasonable not to cancel said weekend away?

[tinyizzy]

Ok, update, spoke to DH, who will ring his mom, and come away with us!! And never forget to pass on any messages ever again andstop being a total waste of time, so there we have it!!

Many Many thanks to all who contributed, and next time I wont plan anything!!

Kind regards to all. Tinyizzy

[diddl]

Hope it all goes OK & that you have a nice time.

[Alibabaandthe80nappies]

Wamster - do you have issues with your own MIL perchance? I'm sensing a little projection......

Clearly it was your DH's fault OP - if he had passed on the message then there wouldn't even have been an issue. I'm glad he has realised it is up to him to let his Mum know, let's hope she isn't too angry with him.

[bilblio]

This sounds like something that would/has happened in our house. DH is rubbish at passing on messages, and MIL does like to arrange activities for us. I get on with MIL quite well, but I like a relaxed life, I don't like to have things arranged for me... and certainly not when I only get to find out about them a day or two before!

We now have a calendar, which we're both getting into the habit of using. I also tend to answer the phone so I make sure I chat to MIL for a while and tell her about any plans we have before handing the phone over to DH.

Glad it got resolved... Hopefully DH has learnt a valuable lesson. I'd still go ahead and plan things, but if you know MIL had a tendency to plan things too make sure you tell her too.

[Familyguyfan]

Excellent news. I'm sure he can still have a party, perhaps on another day, or his mum can simply meet up with her family without him. Enjoy your weekend!

[RainboweBrite]

Hurrah! Glad you got the outcome you wanted! Have a nice weekend away.

[loubielou31]

Has he phoned his mum or just said that he will, you know it doesn't count until he's actually made the call.

[Thumbwitch]

Very pleased it seems to have sorted itself out, tinyizzy - I think in your place I'd be ringing MIL for some spurious other reason and just surreptitiously check that she knows for sure that you aren't going to her dinner. Just in case. :)

[bubblesincoffee]

What Loubielou said!

Let us know the outcome of the phonecall!