AIBU to wonder how it's possible for an 8yo to be obese?

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I know I am and I'm being judgey too, but how?

I struggle to buy trousers fro my DSs (8 & 10) because they won't stay up.

I am in no way healthly eating obsessed. We eat 3 meals a day, mostly home cooked, but not always low fat, eg sausages and chips do feature and if anyone's still hungry there's always cake or a pud. My boys are active when out and about, but not sporty. They spend a good part of each day indoors and they get reasonable amounts of crisps and sweets as treats. DS1 is always hungry and never denied food (usually toast or a cheese sandwich for snacks) and yet still "average" waists are far too big for them.

What are the other parents feeding their kids?

Oops, sorry WillowFae, didn't mean it as criticism, was agreeing with you.

I am obese. I live on bread, marmite and cheese. Its a kind of addiction. Even if I eat a full meal, I don't feel satisfied unless I stuff myself with bread/toast and marmite. I don't eat chocolate, sweet puddings, I don't buy crisps (another addiction) or fizzy drinks except on very rare special occasions.

That said, my 8 year old DS is as skinny as a rake. I don't congratulate myself on this. I am lucky. Firstly, he likes to eat a much healthier variety of food than I do, most of the time, though he gets more than his fair share of sweets and ice cream. Secondly, we are fortunate to live in a small friendly rural community which permits me to allow him the freedom to go out round the estate safely, playing footie/cricket/rugby, running, bike riding, etc. Finally, I am fortunate, or more accurately, he is fortunate in that he has a vibrant, exciteable, active nature, unlike me.

He is very sociable, he hates being stuck indoors without friends, can't sit still to watch a movie or play video games (of which he has plenty). I had nothing to do with this, other than not obstructing him, allowing him the freedom. I am just lcuky. So, when I see a fat child, I simply think; "there for the grace of God go I", and I don't pass judgement.

Ok, I think my point is, that some of the blame has to be apportioned to us parents, but also to the way society is now. In the past, people ate a lot more calories than most of us do today, but they had a more active lifestyle without having to force it or think about it. When we live in disjointed, dysfunctional communities, when there is a perception that children have to be kept safely indoors and monitored 24/7 in case of paedophiles/traffic etc, kids will become couch potatoes, often because they are trained to "sit still, be quiet", by being plonked in front of the TV/video game/computer. They don't walk to school, beacuse of stranger danger, or speeding cars, or just because they don't go to the local school, they go to a "better" school out of the catchment area. So they don't live next to their classmates, and you don't get to know the mothers at the school gates. You don't know your neighbours because you are so busy working 2 hours drive away for 10+ hours a day that you never get a chance to gossip with Maureen next door about Mandy-down-the-road's naughty children. So if your kids get into trouble out on the estate, you don't know about it and no one cares enough to help. So you have to keep them indoors unless you have the money and the time to take them to special activities.

This, IMHO, is what needs to change.

I think another reason is we use up a lot of calories keeping ourselves warm. In the days before central heating we would have eaten a lot more food and burnt it off keeping warm in winter, nowadays we are never really that cold.

BobMarley by your reckoning my DS who was always in the 90s centile for weight should be obese with roles of fat, but he never had any fat once he grew out of baby fat. His height was only a few centiles below his weight so he was in good proportion. He does weigh heavy because he has wide shoulders.

MissyMarmite, I love marmite too, and eating too much toast and marmite, or bowls of cereal in the evenings has also been my downfall in terms of extra calories (there is nothing nicer than crusty bread, butter and marmite IMO).

I agree it's complicated, and not helped by the fact children aren't allowed out at a young age often now, and don't walk to school. However, I think food is the defining factor, studies of exercise show that on whole, we move about as much as in the 1970's, and that people exercise less as they get fatter, not necessarily the other way around. It's not true everyone was very very active in the past, people pottered about, not everyone had a manual job.

I think food quality in the UK is disgusting. When I go to the continent, and see the fresh fruit and veg, I am amazed. My husband can't get over the prices of fruit and veg in the UK, he comes from a poor country, but everyone eats tonnes of very cheap fruit and veg and are much slimmer. The bread here is awful, and a lot of the cheap meat is pretty bad. And, the biscuit aisle is the longest in the shop. It's hard to fight against all that. I've recently started eating healthier and less carbs and it has been very expensive, as nice fish and meat is much more expensive than cheap bread and biscuits. I have had to embrace lentils!

I agree about the food being bad, and good food being more expensive. Fruit and veg from the supermarket is really bad quality, tasteless and expensive considering it isn't processed. It's no incentive to eat the stuff. I used to live in Spain, and the fruit was invariably local, really cheap and tasted wonderful.

Fish here is prohibitively expensive, and I probably only buy meat once a week, and then only cheap cuts/minced, which happens to be fattier.

I still don't get why wholemeal bread costs more than white, when wholemeal is less processed also. Low fat varieties of spread, cheese, dressings, etc... always more expensive, especially as they are never provided in "value" ranges, often only available as branded or luxury items.

Bruffin and Willow of course I mean in relation to height. In my case, my children are all average height so it is 50th percentile I would be looking at.

I do think there is a lot of denial in this country in what is overweight and what isn't. In adults and children. I'm hardly skinny myself but here in the UK people regard me as slim whilst going back to my home country I'm definitely a bit plump!

I know of a child who had to have a special blazer made for him when starting secondary because school uniform did not go up to size 48