AIBU to wonder how it's possible for an 8yo to be obese?

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I know I am and I'm being judgey too, but how?

I struggle to buy trousers fro my DSs (8 & 10) because they won't stay up.

I am in no way healthly eating obsessed. We eat 3 meals a day, mostly home cooked, but not always low fat, eg sausages and chips do feature and if anyone's still hungry there's always cake or a pud. My boys are active when out and about, but not sporty. They spend a good part of each day indoors and they get reasonable amounts of crisps and sweets as treats. DS1 is always hungry and never denied food (usually toast or a cheese sandwich for snacks) and yet still "average" waists are far too big for them.

What are the other parents feeding their kids?

Er being fat is hardly comparable to an inability to read so as you said, back in the real world....

allinabag I agree with you. I just think it is sad that we have got to a point where we should feel bad for not wanting our DC to be fat.

I know several parents who are so obsessed with their children not being overweight/obese that they definitely underfeed them. One friend recently realised in horror that her 5 year old was only eating about 500 calories a day.

there were very few fat kids when i was at school in the 70s but then there were very few adults so not really surprising.

I haven't actually said how old my DS3 is He's 9, BTW and I know he doesn't do enough exercise. He gets enough fat from his diet. He cycles to and from school everyday, about a mile in total, he has a weekly swimming lesson, but if you watch him during 'free play' he won't be playing football or tag. My DS2 won't either but he will burn up huge amounts of energy by jumping up and down constantly all the time, playing on the Wii, watching the TV... I know why DS3 is bigger, he doesn't ever feel full and he doesn't enjoy exercise. That is his make up and personality. Not my fault! I'm doing my bit, but you can take a child to the park, you can't make them run around!

Part of the reason I don't want my children to be chubby/fat is precisely because of that social judgement. I understand it's more complex, but would I like them to be picked on, constantly struggle with their weight, always feel not quite right (you can't insulate them entirely from these judgements)? No, so I would take action (like cutting down on portions, doing more exercise, cutting down on treats so they were actual treats, not just normal food). Now, if I took all those actions, then they were still quite chubby/fat, I could relax knowing I had done my best and that was just the way it was meant to be.

Bollocks. Bollocks, bollocks, bollocks. My DD, 7, eats far less, and less crap than her cousins of the same age. One of them lives on turkey dainosaurs, chips, garlic bread and chocolate- refuses to eat anything else. No fruit, no veg, nothing. The other will eat huge amounts of whatever you put in front of him, then come back 10 minutes later complaining hes hungry. Both of them are so skinny trousers fall down.

My DD eats whatever I eat, no crisps or treats in packed lunch, etc, yet is classed as obese. 95th centile for height, 98th for weight. Clothes are always that bit too tight for her. Yet shes been playing out all day today, as she does almost every day, running, climbing, riding her bike. If shes in the house, shes normally on her wii on just dance. She doesn't look fat at all, but shes sturdy, with broad shoulders and a little tum on her.

Some kids have a metabolism that means they put on and keep on weight. Don't you think they have anough to deal with from other kids, without adults starting too? Maybe we should all start critiscising adults who are overweight, is that ok? Think before you speak.

95th for height and 98th for weight is not childhood obesity

are you using a proper bmi for children?

I agree activate

those centiles of 95 and 98 do not indicate obesity...they show a child in proportion

a height centile of eg. 10th and a weight centile of eg. 90th would however (the other way round would be an exceptionally tall and skinny child)

it's about the comparison between the two

definitely - if they did, DS would have been obese from birth (and ever since!)

My nephew is on the bigger side. He is the same age as my dd and she is very skinny. DSis & BIL are way more conscientious about diet than we are, and they encourage lots of physical activity too. He isnt overweight but they do have to really take care to avoid this, whereas for us, it isn't an issue at all - for the time being, anyway.

This isn't my sister's fault - nephew just has a different build and metabolism.

I was obese from the age of 8, thanks to the nice hormone kick in at that age. I have been obese ever since, which unless I starve myself day after day, isn't going to stop anytime soon. I have PCOS.

Mine are not 'thin' but nowhere near overweight, but I think with children some are only a few calories away from the slippery slope to being fat. If children are overweight then it's down to shit parents, unless in the rare instance that they have some illness going on. Teaching your children to eat healthily is the same as crossing the road, having good manners, making them kind....it's something that you do because if you don't they can be social outcasts and unhealthy. Who wants to give their kids a lifetime of teasing and low self esteem? or heart disease?

"She doesn't look fat at all, but shes sturdy, with broad shoulders and a little tum on her." Then she's eating too much.

Thanks PosieParker, have you not read the rest of the thread? Calling any parent with an overweight child 'shit' is lovely of you.

Children on top centiles for both height and weight are not obese.

It shouldn't be hard to know whether your child is obese or have people really lost the plot so much that they have no idea what a child should look like.

I agree with thequeenofdenial - one of my sons is classed as obese because he is huge - he is 11 and has to wear 13yo trousers and shirts and his BMI puts him in the obese category.

He is a county standard swimmer and plays rugby and is solid muscle - by the end of the swim season, there is not an ounce of fat on him.

We have to review out opinions of what is normal by using some common sence guidelines..."obese" refers to kids with double and triple chins chins, boys with moobs, children with rolls of fat and muffin tops, girls hitting puberty at 9 because they have reached the ideal weight, children out of proportion and storing too much fat. Not that rounded preteen tummy.

Well actually, to refer to a previous comment, the shape of people/children has changed in these last few years. And the general shape in the populationis different from one country to the next.
When i take my dcs to the beach here, they look healthy, even on the skinny side. When I go to Europe, they look quite 'solid' and certainly not skinny at all!
The same goes with clothes. The 'fit' of european clothes is different thn here because the general body shape is different.

I agree that often it is due to build and height.
Both of my boys are OK for their BMI ranges, both were solidly 97/98 centile as babies and toddler, and same for height.
DS1 eats like a horse, could easily eat as much as DH if we let him but is so active, he is very sporty and doesn't like sitting still.
DS2 is not naturally sporty, far prefers reading/playing withh lego and doesn't eat very much at all. He was a very big baby.

So we are trying to teach DS1 about healthy eating choices (he is 7, has school meals, we are not always with him) and trying to get DS2 to be more active.

They have both had stages in their development where they looked chubby (about age 3/4) whilst still eating healthily and getting loads of exercise.

I suppose they are lucky because we are conscious of this and addressing it, as Posie says we don't want them to have weight problems and get teased, nor do we want them to be unhealthy. Just trying to send out right messages and set patterns for a healthy lifestyle. I suppose I'd have been judged "shit" when they were toddlers

There was an article on the BBC website earlier this year where the paediatrician who advises government on children's health said that you should be able to clearly see a child's ribs. My DS3, who is on the 80th centile BMI, so within the 'healthy' range but near the top end, is well covered and you just cannot see his ribs. Anything much above this is overweight. You do not need rolls of fat, muffin tops or moobs to be obese. That is our perception of obese because those are the pictures that get trotted out by the media.

I struggle to keep my DS3 in the healthy range, I admit, but unless you weigh and measure them and check their BMI for age, it is very hard to judge.

I maybe would of been those to original judge, especially before I became a parent.

My daughter has a very chubby short friend, her mum is chubby and short and her dad is very short. She swims 5 times a week, is in the county swim squad, she is an excellent swimmer, maybe some would look at her and say OMG she obviously doesnt excercise and eats crap, far from it, she just follows both her parents - Her father is a keep fit nut and her mother runs every day. Yes some children are over weight from a poor diet, but it is wrong to judge unless we know the actual circumstances.

BTW he's 4'3" and 4st 12lb at 9 yo. Puts him on roughly 80th centile. It's not that big, is it?