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Original poster

For finding it really hard to bite my tongue with this horrible 13 year old -

84 replies

VeggieButcher · 29/07/2011 16:56

DS is 13 and has a facebook page as do most of his friends. There is one horrible little bitch in the school who simply will NOT leave him alone. She punches and slaps him at school, calls him horrible names constantly and is now obsessed with making snidey remarks on his facebook page constantly.

Like he was excited about a recent school trip so put that on his status, she just had to write underneath it "would be miles better if you wasn't going" and then "come to think of it, do they even allow retards in alton towers? maybe you should just go back to your cardboard box and stay there for the day?"

Its constant with her and he does NOT encourage her. I've spoken to the school and they have said concerns have been raised about her for a while because she IS a bully.

He deleted and blocked her off facebook and so she sent him all these nice texts saying she was sorry and was just in a shit mood so he added her as a friend again and last night she started on him again over facebook telling everyone he was chatting with on his "wall" that nobody in the school liked him and he was "fucking annoying" and "a complete fucking turd" etc.

I want to write underneath "to say you hate him so much, you can't seem to resist writing constant shit on his facebook page. Why not piss off and leave him alone?" but I know I "can't" Hmm

I've told him I want her deleted off his page and blocked as soon as he gets home tonight but I'm finding it SO difficult to bite my tongue. I just want to give her a piece of my mind.

OP posts:
Rhinestone · 31/07/2011 15:56

I'll say this again -

Why oh why oh why oh why do people allow a school - which is an educational establishment - to deal with what is actually a police matter. She is 13 which is above the age of criminal responsibility and what she is doing is a crime.

If I had this from someone I would go to the police - why don't children deserve the same protection?

Screen shot is a great idea.

spiderpig8 · 31/07/2011 16:01

But WHY doesn't your DH just defriend her and block her???
You still haven't answered that ?HE can't be that upset.

spiderpig8 · 31/07/2011 16:01

..and I would imagine the school/police would certainly be asking that question too.

bruffin · 31/07/2011 16:24

I think there is bit of the "better the devil you know than the devil you don't"

One of dd's friends says they would rather have them as a fb friend so they at least know what they are saying about them, rather than the said child saying the same thing behind their back.
I also think children like to think the best of others and want to believe the other child has changed/grown up a bit.

Groovee · 31/07/2011 17:59

I would report her to facebook and take screen shots and take it to the police.

InstantAtom · 31/07/2011 18:03

Contact the school again straight after the holidays and say that the response you've had so far isn't good enough.

Can you contact this girl's parents?

Ripeberry · 31/07/2011 18:15

Just delete the witch, but make sure she does not set up a facebook page of her own to have a go at him Angry
Keep the evidence.
Can lawyers be involved in this kind of thing? If not, those parents need to sort themselves out as if they can't cope with her at 13yrs old,God help them when she is older.

Memeandme · 31/07/2011 18:38

You can involve the police, it's bullying they will give her a talking too which might be enough to get the little shit to leave him alone

SharperSeven · 31/07/2011 19:53

It is beyond me why any parent would let their child continue to be friends with this person and therefore see what is being written. There is nothing more annoying for a bully than to be ignored, and for her actions to have no impact. De-friend, ignore and stop expecting the school to deal with something which is YOUR responsibility.
Unless, of course, he is enjoying it...

cookcleanerchaufferetc · 31/07/2011 20:07

Just go to the police with screenshots .....

herbietea · 31/07/2011 20:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

AngusOg · 31/07/2011 20:17

Quite a lot - and if they don't, I would be creating merry hell as to why not:

www.respectme.org.uk/Cyberbullying-and-the-law.html

Hope that clarifies.

InstantAtom · 31/07/2011 20:20

This is obviously a very unpleasant problem but I don't think name-calling is appropriate when it's a 13-year-old being discussed.

feralgirl · 31/07/2011 20:29

Schools, by law, have to have policies on bullying which includes cyberbullying. My school takes it incredibly seriously.

Take it to the police but also write a letter of complaint to the school governors to tell them that school hasn't resolved the issue. The head teacher will be around in the holidays and will be in contact with the head of governors about anything serious (like this). Threaten them with a letter to the local press if it's not resolved (although this may not go down too well with your DS).

The school's child protection officer should also be informed; teachers continue to get paid through the holidays and SLT in particular tend to work quite hard even when the school is closed ime.

feralgirl · 31/07/2011 20:34

And it absolutely is the school's responsibility to help deal with it as it will affect his progress at school (plus the physical abuse was happening in school time, according to the OP).

spiderpig8 · 31/07/2011 20:35

Still no answer as to why not to defriend/block? I think you have rocks in your head if you think the police are going to waste time persuing this girl for 1 or 2 unfirndly FB messages when the solution lies in his own hands.

SharperSeven · 31/07/2011 21:07

The cyber bullying is NOT happening in school time. Schools, in the main, do not allow pupils on these sites. It is not the business of the school. The incidents in school are obviously a different matter. Many things which happen at home affect progress, it is not reasonable to expect the school to deal with them all.

bruffin · 31/07/2011 21:23

But the girls is also bullying in school time therefore it is all connected. This may well be happening in school times as well through mobile phone.

One of the cases I mentioned above happened in school hours when the girl was using her phone to post on facebook.

DS school are interested in what happens in and out of school, whether it is cyber bullying or other type of bullying. I was told this by HOY when I mentioned something that had happened to my DS by some boys from school.

They were also more than happy to get involved when a boy from another school tried to mug my ds on the way to school.

SharperSeven · 31/07/2011 21:38

They are probably spending as much on investigating and following through as they are on educating your children.
They should not be allowed to use phones in school.
Pemoving from Facebook would solve the problem.

SharperSeven · 31/07/2011 21:38

REmoving- can't type tonight.

TigerseyeMum · 31/07/2011 21:57

I'm more concerned that this girl is punching and slapping him in school time Hmm

I don't expect to be punched and slapped in my workplace, and I wouldn't want a child to have to spend days at school being attacked either.

The cyberbullying is an extension of this.

If she is verbally and physically attacking your son, and now cyberbullying him, the school have spoken to the parents and the parents are 'unable' to control her, then the police need to be involved.

No child should have to live like this.

nicciaa · 31/07/2011 22:06

she sounds like such a delightful girl!!! NOT!!

What a nasty, nasty little bitch, am sorry to say that about a 13 year old girl, but she is. Shes old enough to know right from wrong, wether or not she has good or bad parental influence. I bet if the shoe was on the other foot, her parents would be up at the school demanding all sorts of actions to protect their 'little girl' . Hopefully you can get it sorted, its not fair on your son. him retaliating will just back fire on him, he'll be made out to be the bully. Well done for biting your tongue though, cause you getting involved on his Facebook would probably cause all sorts. I agree with Angus about the way to deal with it. Sending you and you boy hugs, but don't tell him, cause its not 'cool' lol

bruffin · 31/07/2011 22:13

Sharper - it is one of the most improved comprehensive schools in the country results wise (from 13% to over 90% getting 5 gcses in just over 10yrs) and one of the reasons is that children are very happy to go there and feel safe and they know bullying will be sorted out.

crazynanna · 31/07/2011 22:17

My girl's bully started on her in school at first,then when DD1 told her to fuck off had a little word,she stated it on Facebook. The school dealt with both,the first not too well (thus DD1's involvement),but took the cyber bullying more seriously...why I don't know.

Splattered · 31/07/2011 22:20

Actually our school seem to take cyber bullying more seriously than normal bullying too.

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