to post this as a precautionary tale - co-sleeping

[SylvanianFamilies]

Baby dies in father's bed

Disclaimer - I've never been against co-sleeping, but have never managed to do it (just can't sleep when baby is in bed even if I try) - but in a recent conversation with a friend she admitted she would never do it for fear of suffocating the baby. I thought she was being over-anxious until I read this today.

sorry but why have you posted this? not helpful in the slightest

I have my own opinions but sure as fuck aint posting them here

Firm mattress and never on a waterbed is one of the guidelines Berty - not sure about if a parent is very overweight.

I wouldn't say you shouldn't co-sleep if you bottlefeed, GML, but IIRC breastfeeding mothers are lighter sleepers, physiologically speaking, so I can see that it may be safer if you breastfeed.

There are safe and unsafe ways to cosleep. When cosleeping with a small baby I've always positioned myself so that I can't roll in my sleep and had the baby tucked into the crook of my arm so that he/she can't roll over either. It doesn't sound like that happened here.

Posting a story about someone not co-sleeping safely as a "precautionary tale" to advise against co-sleeping at all is about the same as posting a story about someone not putting their baby in a cot safely (e.g. with a pillow or an ill-fitting mattress) as a "precautionary tale" to advise against using cots at all.

Berty, that's a reasonable supposition and comes under the heading of "reasons NOT to co-sleep because it's dangerous". Probably should be listed in among the "don't do it if..." guidelines - it's a good point.

Maybe IWBU to post it. But it has made me think. And I think it has provoked an interesting discussion.

I'm sure I have read the guidelines somewhere that if either of the parents are very overweight, it is dangerous to co-sleep.

Well I was buggered then. Am very overweight and bottlefed. No one ever told me not to.

I have to say that light sleeping is not exclusively the domain of breastfeeders. Even now DD is 3.6 and still sleeps in with me often. She only has to change the thumb she's sucking and I'm awake. For the last 3.6 years I've perfected the art of remaining fully conscious whilst asleep. I think it's a mother's instinct, not a bf mother's instinct.

I wouldn't trust DH with my bloody glasses in bed for a million pound-bet and he hasn't had a drink for twenty years. He is just too big and too unresponsive.

Hope this doesn't put mothers off co-sleeping and BF.

What I want to know is why SIDS rates have apparently increased in countries which previously co-slept but since moved to western practises of using cots?

I read a story about a baby being found dead, having suffocated against the side of the cot. My first thought was: wouldn't have happened if they were co-sleeping.

I thought there was research that showed safe co-sleeping by breastfeeding mothers was safest for the baby.
Also, IIRC, there was no data for SIDS in courtier where breastfeeding and co-sleeping were the norm.

I co-sleep, but I have found over the years that if my baby isn't with me while they are little, I cannot sleep and spend the night panicking and checking that they are breathing. (even when they are nearly a year old )

Yes, why is it that SIDs was formerly called "cot-death" and now seems to be almost exclusively blamed on co-sleeping?

Courtier = countries

Custard, I was told by my midwife 'Don't do it'. She asked me if I did and I answered no, but I would have been in for a scolding if I had. The official advice, as far as I was concerned (a year ago), was a straightforward 'no'.

I was also told by a health visitor, unequivocally, not to co-sleep. It was only when I came on MN that I realised how common it is.

FSID and Unicef did a good leaflet on safe co-sleeping for breastfeeding mothers - I'll see if I can find it. There's also a section on safety in the No Cry Sleep Solution book and the Dr Sears website.

I was lucky that the hospital midwives when I had ds last year showed be how to feed lying down and co-sleep safely.

Infestation, I would imagine that part of that is the mis-labelling of the unfortunate deaths of babies in co-sleeping situations as SIDS when there are very obvious reasons as to why they have died.

I wouldn't ever let DS sleep next to my DH, I just don't think he has has the instinct as me, a breastfeeding mother who has co-slept from day 1.

I also would not have been able to sleep in the spare room knowing my 5 week old baby was asleep in bed with my DH, no matter how tired I was.

What a tragedy :-(

Here is the leaflet www.unicef.org.uk/Documents/Baby_Friendly/Leaflets/3/sharingbedleaflet.pdf

I mean this as no disrespect to anyone who has lost children, but sadly sometimes babies just die, and it would happen no matter if they were co sleeping,bottlefed,breastfed or in a cot.

When this happens,it just seems that we are looking for a reason and someone or something to "blame"

A few years ago there was data collected about co-sleeping and SIDS.
I read an article about it that explained the 2500 cases that were used all involved drug users, drinkers and smokers. Every article since that one left out the drugs/drink/smoke aspect and sensationalised the whole "co-sleeping causes SIDS" part. HCP's often quote this study, even though the results bore no relation to safe co-sleepers, for which there are very few results for SIDS, but sadly approx 60 deaths a year are caused by sleeping with a baby on a sofa, or bed sharing with the father.
It's tragic when it happens, but shouldn't put people of safe, planned co-sleeping - ie. firm mattress, no pillows, mothers sleeping position etc.

My MW told me she had to tell me not to co-sleep with a wry smile on her face as she knew I was going to. She then reminded me on safe co-sleeping guidelines. Far better to inform parents rather than tell them a blanket "no" when they know that so many people end up sleeping with their babies.

My hospital (well, staff there) repeatedly told me when DD was born 6 weeks ago that 'the safest place for baby to sleep is in a cot next to your bed' but also gave out a leaflet about how to safely co-sleep.

All the community midwives, bar one, said the same. The one who didn't did say the main risk was suffocation/smothering as opposed to SIDS and that in countries where BF and co-sleeping is the norm, SIDS is virtually unheard of. I've no idea how true that is, but vaguely remember being told the same when DS1 was born almost 16 years ago.