AIBU or just a bit precious?

[BlueKangaroo22]

Asked DP to wash the baby's bottles. I go into the kitchen to find that he is just using the bottle brush under cold running water. I go mad and tell him that he is supposed to be washing them properly in hot soapy water, okay fair enough he was using the bottle brush, but I am angry he does not seem to be concerned about our daughters health, his argument was mainly that they would be going in the steriliser, he wasn't even using washing up liquid based on the fact that yesterday, dd was throwing up quite a bit, but I argued that they were rinsed under cold water to get rid of soap suds as I always do,
I have just rewashed all the bottles in hot soapy water like you are told to do!

AIBU to think he could be more careful when it comes to this sort of thing? Or just plain old precious?

How old is baby?

precious

YABU and precious from the sounds of it. I am sure he is really concerned about your DD's health, I dont think washing bottles in cold water will do her any harm, although obv hot water is better....not worth getting your knickers in a twist over tho.

I used hot soapy water every time ... but never sterilised.

precious

They are going in the steriliser!

Perhaps he didn't realise how important it is form them to be really clean BEFORE they go in the steriliser - did you explain properly or just screech at him?

PfB?

Tres precious.

Give yourself a break

No I don't really think that, DD is just over two weeks old (18 days) . It just pissed me off really as it smacks of laziness don't you think??

Of course he cares about his dd's health, to suggest otherwise is just being precious, and silly.

But I understand where you are coming from with wanting the bottles washed properly, I was anal like that too. Looking back, it was completely unnessesary, especially as I barely used bottles at all until 7 months.

Oh and no I didn't screech at him, just spoke quite angrily.

Oh I would've have freaked at 2 weeks old

Op you sound like my wife.

She would e Soap and i would not. He is right, it will be sterilised. (what do you think sterilised means)

Ok, your baby is two weeks old.

Screech away and feel free to be as unreasonable as you like for at least another month.

He's a man I'm sure he cares just as much as you, but my dh is definitely more laid back than me about these things. I wish I was more like him sometimes, I'm definitely overly precious, I'd have gone mad too (not sure if I'd be right though).

What difference does soap make if you are also putting them in the steriliser? As long as he gets the milk etc out surely they will be perfectly clean out of the sterlizer?
You sound like you are overreacting in a major way.

I recently read an article saying that contrary to widespread belief, water temp has very little effect on how clean your hands are when you wash them. Suspect the same is true for bottles.

Congratulations on your baby

I dont think its laziness as such, men generally arent as precious as we are about our babies.

I remember when DS was a baby, if I took him out I would have a bloody great bag, milk, loads of changes of clothes, you know covered for every eventuality. DH would take him out with one bottle (if he remembered) and maybe a nappy and that was it!!!! DS lived to tell the tale.

I think the UK are one of the few countries who still sterilise bottles. I did but apparently did it wrong the whole time. I used to sterlise all the bottles and then take them out the sterlilser as I wanted them. I didnt know that they are only sterile for a few hours and then would need doing again..........again DS lived to tell the tale.

Babies are hard work, please dont make it harder than it has to be...I am sure your DP is doing his best :)

Yeah fair enough they will be sterilised but would you wash your dishes in cold water? No cause it wouldn't budge jack shit off any of the plates really would it

I know I sound awfully precious but they do drum in the cleanliness when you have a baby, obviously yes they have to build up an immune system etc, but still I was abit annoyed!

If your baby is only 2 weeks old then YANBU at all!

From Babycentre -

Before you sterilise, you?ll need to clean the used bottles thoroughly. Wash the bottles, along with the teats, retaining rings and caps, so that every trace of milk is removed.

It's best to do this as soon as possible after a feed, before the milk has had a chance to dry on. Use clean hot, soapy water and a clean bottle brush. Take extra care when washing the teats to make sure any stubborn milk curds come off, as these can survive the sterilising process When you?ve washed everything, carefully rinse off all the detergent.

You can also use a dishwasher to wash your baby?s bottles, as long as the bottles are suitable for this. You may want to wash the teats separately, though, to be sure they're totally clean.

Ok I am going to say you are being a little precious HOWEVER I did the same when DD was younger so I understand. My poor DH could not do anything to my standard in the early days: bottles, nappies etc I had PTSD after a bad birth experience and this made me obsessed by everything to do with DD, I still struggle with it somedays but I think to some degree it's normal to think you can do it better just not to the extreme like me.

If it worries you then I found doing things myself eased tension.

Cold water and no soap won't get off dried on milk deposits from the bottom of the bottle or the neck.

IIRC the bottle needs to be free of milk deposits before it goes into the steriliser for it to be really worth doing. He'd be better off getting the bottles properly clean in hot soapy water and then air drying with no steriliser, rather than doing a half arsed job and putting them in the steriliser.

What are the chances of it making your dd ill? Pretty small, but I'd have been pissed off too.

If you shriek at your husband for not doing this with/for the baby exactly as you think they should be done and accuse him of therefore not caring about your baby's well being, don't be surprised if he loses interest in doing them. That's all.