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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not understand why some parents have adult only living rooms

120 replies

carriedababi · 27/07/2011 18:10

seems a bit mean to the childrento say this living room is adults only,
i can understand wanting your own space a bit in the bedroom, but to have an adults only living room...

well surely you live together as one family don't you.

OP posts:

2littlegreenmonkeys · 27/07/2011 19:04

YABU
DH and I were talking about this the other day, we would have one if we had the spare room. When we move we will specifically be looking for a house that has separate living rooms. One for every day use for all of us and one just for DH and I. I even joked that I would put a lock on the door so that the DD's couldn't get in it, and so that their crap bits and bobs don't begin to encroach on our living space.

Ohhhh to have a lovely tidy room to chill out in in the evenings and not have to clean and tidy it first would be blisssssssssss.

ChristinedePizan · 27/07/2011 19:05

I wish I had an adult only living room. When I get my 2nd telly set up, that's going to be what happens.

kerala · 27/07/2011 19:13

Do not ban DDS from sitting room just has no toys in it and is upstairs they tend to stay in playroom where toys/craft/access to Garden. Also bliss to close door on playroom and head up to calm tidy room with nice things in

exoticfruits · 27/07/2011 19:16

It seems to me more a showhouse and less of a home-like not letting people walk on your carpets in shoes.

Mupski · 27/07/2011 19:24

We have two 'living' rooms. One is an adult only room that is child, pet and TV free. The other is a chaotic, messy, comfy room with, battered sofas and toys all over the floor.

Funny though as we find we hardly ever use the adult living room. Even when we have dinner guests etc we end up in the family room at the end of the evening.

Still it is nice to have one room that's always tidy when the rest of the house is far from it!

MooMooFarm · 27/07/2011 19:26

We have quite an old house and therefore have a sitting room and a drawing room. Therefore we have one of the rooms (the larger one) set out with a big old squishy sofa, tv and loads of toys everywhere. We tend to all be in there until the children go to bed - so it's not as if they're in there on their own being ignored.

When they've gone to bed we go into the sitting room, which, because it's been empty all day - is always tidy and toy free, which is bliss after a long day of entertaining the DC.

I don't understand why there's anything wrong with that. The DC benefit because it means I'm not tidying away all their carefully constructed lego/polly pocket/whatever every night - I just leave it there for them the next day. And they don't constantly get nagged for eating/messing up the room they're playing in because I've purposely not put anything in there I want to keep nice.

TattyDevine · 27/07/2011 19:28

We have one. Its not banned as such, but they are made to put their toys away at the end of the day. No eating in there (the occasional drink sneaks through but at the moment that's fine until I change the sofas, then ironically it'll be me that spills wine on it no doubt) and if they start charging about or bouncing or being silly with the blinds or pawing the TV then they are evicted to the playroom.

Its hard to keep them out of there if you actually want to go in yourself, but if I really want to keep it nice I "base" myself in the playroom and they tend to base themselves there too.

Its not so much about locking them out but to be fair if you have various rooms why let them all get messed up only to moan about the cleaning? Because I don't like cleaning that much. When they are in bed I want to sit down and have an evening. I don't want to be hoovering or skating about on lego. Its a long day I put in with them and I've had enough.

MooMooFarm · 27/07/2011 19:29

BTW I would never 'ban' the DC from any rooms in their house. But they don't go in the front room as much because all their toys are somewhere else - and they know I will go apeshit be a little bit annoyed if they make a mess there

coccyx · 27/07/2011 19:32

great to have a room surprise visitors can go in that is reasonabley tidy, no lego, barbies and other crap

kerala · 27/07/2011 19:32

Moomoofarm we have exactly the same set up. Children are not "banned" from the sitting room in some bizarre formal "access only when queen comes for tea" way - sometimes we all watch dvds up there. Just the fun stuff is in their playroom so in the evenings when DH and I relax we do no have to look at peppa pig etc. Yes and can leave their carefully crafted art stuff on the table untouched so they can pick up the next day.

MerylStrop · 27/07/2011 19:32

We have a big family room at the back of the house and a sitting room at the front. Kids are allowed in the front, but it's a more adult space and they don't keep their toys there.

I think several of the posters in agreement with the OP have only one small child. When you have an army of them you like to be able to keep some of the clutter at bay a bit. Especially when some of them end up sleeping in your bed.

MightyQuim · 27/07/2011 19:37

I don't know anyone that does this. But I don't know anyone that has 2 living rooms so that could be why.

floosiemcwoosie · 27/07/2011 19:42

We only have one DS but all his friends come to ours. Its just nice to have a wee space that's quiet, clutter free and doesnt need to be decorated in wood or leather!

PumpkinBones · 27/07/2011 19:46

I think it's weird. But I only know one couple who have banned their DD's from their living room and they are quite odd. I suppose if I had lots of room I would have a playroom, but really just for convienience. I live in a tiny flat with two DS's, so the concept seems laughable anyway, but each to their own.

Indenturedserf · 27/07/2011 19:48

I would love an adults only living room and we intend having that in the future when we move. No mess, bit like a front parlour but with no aspidistra. Both my brothers live in the States and both have huge houses with family rooms in the basement and then beautiful reception rooms/living rooms upstairs with things like ornaments on display that do not get smashed, couches that don't get bounced on, etc.

Southernisle · 27/07/2011 19:52

I grew up in with a house that had:

a family room - toys were allowed in here, I was allowed to sneak food and drink in here (ok officially it wasn't allowed, but if I was caught I was able to get away with it)

a sitting room - I was allowed in here if adults were in here, but i was not allowed food or drink or toys in there at all.

a lounge - I was never allowed in here, the dogs and I used to sit on the metal strip in the doorway, edging our way in.

(The dogs weren't allowed in the sitting room at all either - family room they were allowed).

notcitrus · 27/07/2011 19:56

My uncle and aunt had 'their' living room, which meant Uncle got to say what was on the telly and kids weren't allowed to interrupt.

They had seven kids plus often me for weeks at a time, and it was a large house, so seemed quite reasonable.

I look forward to having one room for quiet adult-type stuff when the kids are older and we've refurbished more of the building. I'll probably call it the library, but it'll be for board games and stuff.

BsshBossh · 27/07/2011 20:11

DD (3) is evident in every room in our house. Even my office has a box of her toys in it and our bedroom has a box of her books. The whole house is tidy and her toys put away by the time she sleeps and I like looking at her stuff anyway.

BUT, she's an only child who goes to bed early. If I had more DC or if she was older listening to loud music with her friends and watching crap TV then no doubt I'd be yearning for an adult-only room.

CarrieOakey · 27/07/2011 20:15

I have a 'grown up" living room. The DCs aren't banned from it they are very welcome but they are not allowed to bring all their toys in. We will play a board game, read a book or watch tv together but otherwise they have their own playroom or the kitchen to do all their messy stuff. Having said that I'm sat in it now and it looks like a bomb has just exploded!!!!!

Ragwort · 27/07/2011 20:21

I think it's a great idea, we need to rearrange the space in our house as DS tends to hog the sitting room and watch endless rubbish on the tv whilst DH and I are each in separate rooms either on the PC or sitting at the kitchen table ............. of course it would be ideal if we could all sit together enjoying the same sort of tv programme or happily playing a board game but that rarely happens - so much for family togetherness

tulpe · 27/07/2011 21:03

We have always been lucky enough to have both a playroom and a more formal sitting room since having DC. They absolutely are not "banned" from the sitting room but, aside from Christmas, they don't have toys in there and they wouldn't eat or drink in there as a rule either (but then we don't allow that in the playroom either). It is a room where we watch TV, read or listen to music without being surrounded by Harry Potter and his mates nor Obi Wan et al. We spend our days in the playroom/family room and then have a neat and tidy room to move in to when DCs go to bed or at any time when we feel we need to get away from plastic tat :)

I envisage that as DCs move into teen years, we will keep this up as I think it will be good for them to have their own space in which to hang out which isn't their bedroom.

I am rather at those of you who say you have a lock on the sitting room door - or are you joking and I have spectacularly failed to spot the humour ?

Southernisle - I have a very funny image in my head of you and dogs edging ever closer in to the elusive "lounge" :o

Sassybeast · 27/07/2011 21:10

'Inviting' kids into rooms in their own home? Blimey

'Stares around plastic tatted living room and rummages for half a custard cream down side of sofa'

icapturethecastle · 27/07/2011 21:18

I have just moved and now have a grown up living room and family room. It is lovely but when I started reading this thread I just looked around the grown up room and saw all the toys!! They are infiltrating already.

OriginalPoster · 27/07/2011 21:19

Our sitting room is calm and peaceful, grown up choice of TV, well behaved kids welcome to join us. Playroom, kids choice TV, as much noise as they want with door closed, horse play allowed if not damaging house or breaking bones adults welcome as long as they are joining in.

forehead · 27/07/2011 21:23

I think a separate room is ideal. We have a tv room and a living room. The children don't tend to go into the living room. It's our sanctuary, no toys. paintings etc. If visitors come, at least one room will be tidy.

yabu

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