to think it rather strange that fans are leaving tributes of alcohol and cigarettes outside Amy Winehouse's flat?

[Thruaglassdarkly]

...given that her addiction killed her? Anyone else think that's a bit ???

I don't understand anyone who makes a pilgrimage to the house of someone they've never met, stands there wailing and leaving presents. Whether they leave flowers or lager, it's all a bit odd.

Oh I forgot about the fact that there is only on opinion allowed on MN. There are plenty of threads going where you can weep and wail over a total stranger. I'm as entitled to think you are bonkers as you are to pretend you knew her.

Funerals are for the living - it's an established, socially-recognised tradition that can help with the grieving process. The dead don't know anything about it do they?! I think all the 'it's what he would have wanted' stuff translates as 'this is how I remembered X, and it resonates with me'.

As for celebrity/mass tributes, I think there's a viral effect (particularly seen with Diana; I remember my manager at the time saying 'I think I'm going to have to go to London and leave some flowers'), so the more it gets seen, the more it becomes the norm.

Tweeting your grief, on the other hand, makes me go I don't really understand.

:o @ gwendolene!

Amy's Mum and Dad and her boyfriend went to look at all the tributes etc left outside the house yesterday - and they thanked everyone.
Her Dad Mitch said "It is really helping us at this terrible time."

I am sure they couldn't give a rat's arse what a bunch of self-appointed arbiters of taste on the internet think.

Esta, each to their own I suppose.
All the rememberance tat is too familiar with me- My dad is buried next to a grave that has a lot of stuff on it- flags, lanterns, photos, little figurines, plastic flowers, windchimes...
This person's family still find it comforting 15 years on which is good for them....the fact that it upsets me and I think it makes dad's grave look a mess when it spills over to his is not thought of. I don't like shrines.

Since humans started dealing with their dead as opposed to just disposing of them, they have left things to help with the journey to the other side.

It is part of a ritual to comfort and take back control at a time when that is lost. In short it is only human.

Wordfactory - grief is also a very personal thing -
For one person a shrine is the biggest comfort there can be.
For another, it couldn't be more inappropriate and crass.
One man's rubbish is another man's treasure and all that.

I thought the bottles of booze were a bit weird as well - but I also find these shrines very inappropriate and 'look at me.'

People used to participate in the various grief rituals if they knew the dead (and TBH probably some of the people at various times throughout history will have gone through the motions and thought 'well this is a bit wank, really') but the current fashion for leaving crap all over the place in 'memory' of dead people you didnt know is profoundly stupid, actually.
It makes a mess, it's a squandering of resources, it's utterly pointless.

Mind you, having said that, bottles of vodka and fags left on the pavement in camden are probably much welcomed by some of the local tramps, so it's perhaps less of a mess than tons of cellophane-wrapped flowers which will stink and have to be tidied up by someone else.

I can see why they are doing so - it's part of her to them. However, I think it is very very sad because they don't reflect the real Amy who was not known to them, I would be sad if I were part of her family as they reflect the many problems she had and not her musical talent and other positive parts of her personality.
If they want to reflect what really mattered to Amy then perhaps some music.
I wonder what is happening to the alchohol and cigarettes at night when nobody is around.

Again SGB you get back to your limited, simple little utilitarian view of emotional expression - 'squandering of resources', and your concern for tidyness, and the like. So I'd ask again - are the people who left tributes in Oslo centre also stupid, as they didn't actaully know the victims?

Thnking 'Oh dear, that's a shame' when a stranger dies is reasonable. Actually making the effort to go and park an object somewhere (that will only have to be tidied up by some poor sod on the minimum wage) is stupid, pointless behaviour.
And yes, the people who did it in Olso are daft as well. It's not a funeral rite, it's a mess. It serves no purpose at all. Making emotional display doesn't carry any greater or lesser weight depending on the dead person: there's no difference in logical terms between people creating a compost heap of flowers in 'tribute' to dead children, and the people who created a compost heap of flowers at the place where Raoul Moat was shot.

Esta - you're over-simplifying what people are saying on here too much by calling people self-arbiters of taste, I feel. For me, it's not about that. I saw what her parents said yesterday after I started the OP and had I been her mum or dad and seen all the flowers and tributes etc, I'd also have been touched, but the bottles of booze and fag packets would have stung a bit I imagine - although they're not going to say that on TV, are they? Rationally, they know what she was like and how she lived her life. Have you not seen previous interviews from her parents when she was alive, where they are clearly terrified about her dying young as a result of her lifestyle? And now (it's highly likely) she has done just that. I just think that on an emotional level it would be a bitter extra reminder that they don't need.

Nightkitchen - feel free to put a cats bum or judgy pants on my grave when I go, but please don't put a reminder of whatever caused me to shuffle off my mortal coil on there, out of respect for my family. It's all about the loved ones - don't you see that? Not countless random strangers.

Agree with others who think leaving things for people you don't know is odd. FWIW the tragedy in Norway is different in my book. I still think leaving flowers about in tribute is daft but they are a nation in shock over a senseless massacre.

Nightkitchen - they were symbols of her addiction and her unhappiness I guess, even if it turns out they weren't the primary cause of her demise. So yes, we don't know for sure yet.

I'm not making any decision though. I'm not storming down to Camden, shouting "Right, that's enough of that, you lot!" and hoiking out the bottles of voddy and packets of B and H. I'm simply expressing an opinion on a forum, aren't I? I know when my Dad died, it would have really hurt to see bottles of beer as a tribute to him. I'd have smiled graciously, said thank you etc, but inside I'd have felt shite. Given that her parents seem ordinary traditional people and not big time rock 'n' rollers themselves into that sort of hard-living, I imagine that inside they feel a bit shite too. Perhaps not. I'd rather not take the chance though had I been leaving a tribute personally.

Kitchen - Her dad was on air saying how her smoking was killing her slowly a few years ago and how he envisaged her dying a slow and drawn out death because of it. He was distraught! Have you also not seen the footage of her being booed off stage in Serbia because she was so drunk the other month? It's heart-breaking. It's not about judging her for goodness sake. For me it's all bout the fact that she was ill and how symbols of her illness are forming tributes.

I'd have felt the same if she was a young male rock star too.