to think this has made my vegetarian daughter ill?

[musicposy]

and should I be cross with my BIL over this?

Most Saturday nights we go down to my sisters house and my BIL, who is a very good cook, makes dinner for us. They come to us regularly too, but it's usually pizza at ours!

Anyhow, DD2 (11) has been vegetarian for nearly 4 years now and also eats virtually no dairy, only eggs. This was her choice entirely and I've always respected that; she's growing well, thriving and is never ill - until today.

Sis and Bro-in-law have always made no bones about the fact that if she was theirs, she wouldn't be "allowed" to be veggie and they think I pander terribly to her. I have to remind BIL to keep vegetables/ potatoes etc separate for her. I know he thinks I am making a terrible fuss and gets a bit huffy about my requests.

Anyway, DD2 has been quite ill today with diarrhoea and stomach cramps. We couldn't think what it is and then DD1, who helped BIL cook, says she thinks that BIL cooked the veggies/ fried/ griddled stuff in the fat and pan he'd cooked the chicken in. DD2 told me she'd thought it had a horrible taste but didn't like to be rude - I don't think it occurred to her it wouldn't be vegetarian (she just has the veg without the meat there normally).

I suspect it is this which has made her ill - does this sound crazy?

Also, I don't know whether to mention it to BIL (who could have just forgotten, I guess, though it seems unlikely), or whether to just take a LindaMcCartney meal each time now and microwave it. I don't want to fall out with them but I am a bit cross if he took it upon himself to decide it wouldn't matter. AIBU?

Im fairly sure eating meat after giving up can make you ill. Im be pretty angry with them for not respecting her choice and for making her ill through ignorance of veggies not being able to eat meat after that long without illness.

worraliberty, it may have been a genuine mistake, I agree. I think about it every time I prepare food - keeping DD2's food, cooking utensils, everything completely separate - and we all eat veggie at least 4 times a week as it's just easier. But if you're not used to thinking about those things it could be easy to overlook it.

I have been vegetarian for 17 years now and think I would be ill if I had chicken fat. Even thinking of it makes me a bit nauseous. I find that meat smells awful and since taste and smell are related I can imagine that I would find the taste bad too. I used to when I had to eat it before I had my own place and could decide for myself (my folks wouldn't allow me to give it up). This is not a judgement on meat eaters, my DH and DS1 eat it and I live with them happily, just that many vegetarians can't cope with meat any more because it is an alien substance.

music I totally get that you don't want to fall out with her or appear to be criticising her parenting, but she doesn't seem to extend you the same respect, tbh.

Not having a pop, just am totally aghast at someone announcing to their own sis that her children would have to eat some particular food she didn't normally give them!

DBF I think some 'veggies' identify as 'veggie' because it is easier than saying 'I normally don't eat meat but will occasionally have a burger if I am pissed enough'.

When I was vegan I ate bacon once because I went to someone's house from a culture where vegetarianism is not really accepted, and he had cooked me a gorgeous meal with that in it and I didn't want to offend him. I think people interpret the label with some latitude....

Play devils advocate and next time you go there ask your bil to make extra sure that your dd doesn't get any of the potatoes etc that have been cooked in with the meat as last time they had obviously deliberately been mixed up and as a result your dd was quite poorly. Go on to explain that you think she may have developed an intolerance to animal products as some people here have described

then sit back and watch his reaction - concern for your dd, guilt at getting caught out, worry that he's done it again, worry that he did it
before etc. Will tell you if he did do it - also prime your dd to say if she gets nasty potatoes etc again to say politely that she thinks there has been a mix up with her food as she can taste the meat on hers and so please could she have her veggie versions or a slice of bread if there aren't any... That way she looks polite rather than accusing!

Do you remember the threads on here at Christmas, talking about how annoying it was to have to think about not cooking a portion of roast potatoes in goose fat because of the vegetarians?
A few posters thought that it didn't matter, and you should just not say anything to the vegetarian.

RevoltingPeasant she didn't mean she was going to give my DD meat, she meant that if my DD was her child and not mine she would make her eat meat. In other words, my nephew would not be allowed to take the same path. (I think I explained it badly.)

I think I will probably let it drop until next time we go and take on board what you say zipzap- or just ask them to ours instead.

Yes, I remember the thread going a bit ballistic! I wasn't trying to create a new furore on here!

Right sorry It did sound pretty extreme!!

My dad tried to tell me I wasn't allowed to be vegan when I turned 18, but since I mostly did the cooking, that didn't work out so well :)

My brother was veggie for 20 years, got ill, and was force fed meat (looooooong story). He was then seriously ill with D&V. It does happen. Although DS was veggie until he was five, then decided he wanted to eat meat and had no ill effects.

I would be a bit cross with your BIL - I don't think he's been nasty, just unthinking (a lot a lot a lot a lot of meat eaters just don't get vegetarianism, including my in-laws). I would mention it to him, the way zipzap said.

Yep. It's probably the meat fat. I'd send her with a complete microwave/oven meal to avoid any more 'confusion'.

DP is a lifelong veggie and even the smallest amount of fish or meat will give him food poisoning type symptoms for up to 24 hours. It often happens if we're on holiday and there is a rogue anchovy or something in a pizza.

I suppose it is possible that the chicken fat could 'shoot straight through her' as someone up thread said, but personally I would imagine you'd have to have more than a tiny coating of meat fat or stock (and it's obvious she didn't have any more than a tiny coating, if indeed that was what it was at all - we don't know for sure) to have D&V or stomach cramps. I imagine if she has heard you complain that your BIL is not terribly supportive of her eating choices then between you you have imagined a conspiracy to convert her, and have both got your knickers in a twist a bit.

Anyway, in future I would suggest that you do take LM ready meals with you for DD. It sounds as though you accept your DS and BILs hospitality and his efforts to home cook food almost on a weekly basis, which is rather more often than you extend the favour to them - and yet they get pizza? . I think YABU to expect him to regularly put himself out to cater separately to suit your DD, when he is also cooking food for so many other people. To be honest you sound a bit precious and ungrateful.

Out of interest, does she ever eat chewy jelly sweets that contain gelatine, (which is most of them) and do they make her ill?

hasn't she just got a bug?

Yes it probably did make her ill.

It is a fact that veggies make get sick eating meat. I think a lot of people posting have anti vegetarian views, hence their replies.

As for the 'I know a vegetarian who ate meat and was fine' people, the plural I'd anecdote is not data!!

I've been veggie for 25 years and on the odd occasion I've eaten something that I've later realised has had some sort of animal product, I've had a seriouslyupset tummy. So yes, def possible as others have said.

I've been ill without realising what I'd eaten had meat in it.
So, not psychosomatic.

I was vegetarian for 16 years. Then after having dd started eating meat. It didn't make me feel even slightly off colour.

Some people like to think that they are sensitive flowers who have somehow forgotten how to digest meat. Not so.

Yes, animal fat would give her diarrhea and stomache ache. I was vegan for a few years and I ate some pasta with cheese on, my stomach swelled like a balloon and I had terrible cramps. Animal fats are digested differently and if you never eat them your stomach will be unprepared. It's not militantly vegetarian to say so, it would be the same if you never ate pulses then ate a massive plate of beans and lentils.

I'd like to think that if I was in a survival situation, I could revert to eating whatever I could catch. I don't think of myself as a sensitive flower, just someone exercising a choice.

I would give them a ring afterall as far as you and dd are concerned her meal was should have been prepared differently and she is the only on sick. Don't have to accuse or be rude just say can they think of anything they did differently to normal with her food as she's been poorly.

Even if they don't admit it, it will hopefully let them know they can't do it next time.

I'm a vegetarian. My partner cooked last night and I tucked into the plate of chips but couldn't eat it. I told him there must be something wrong with the potatoes because they tasted horrible.

Turns out he had cooked the chips in the bottom of the halogen oven and sausages on the top tray and the fat from the sausages had dripped down onto them.

It made me gag and feel physically sick when he told me and I couldn't eat another mouthful.

I've been vegetarian for 22 years, since I was your DDs age. Yes, this has happened to me many times although I do thing some are more sensitive than others.

I have been vegetarian for 30 odd years. I have only been sick through eating meat inadvertently once and that was a tomato soup made from chicken stock.
It came straight back as fast as it went down - sorry if TMI.
I have eaten spuds and things that have been cooked in lard and been fine.
Knowing I have eaten something meaty MAKES me feel queasy but that isn't the same thing.
I travel a lot and in some countries you just can't get too fussy over meat contamination of veggy food otherwise you'd starve.

"I imagine if she has heard you complain that your BIL is not terribly supportive of her eating choices then between you you have imagined a conspiracy to convert her"

Fellatio I'm not sure where you got this from? I don't think I've ever complained about them at all, let alone in front of DD. I've just asked that her stuff is kept away from meat. The initial discussions when DD became veggie were just between me and sis. I'm not sure where a conspiracy comes from - none of the rest of us are veggie. I just do my best to respect DD's beliefs.

"It sounds as though you accept your DS and BILs hospitality and his efforts to home cook food almost on a weekly basis, which is rather more often than you extend the favour to them - and yet they get pizza?"

Probably on balance we go to them more than vice versa, yes, but the whole arrangement, including what we eat, is mutually agreed for lots of reasons and not because we don't extend the offer to them. It's their choice as much as ours.

"Out of interest, does she ever eat chewy jelly sweets that contain gelatine, (which is most of them) and do they make her ill?"
No, because then she wouldn't be vegetarian in her opinion. Non gelatine chewy sweets are a pain to source, and it limits your choice, but they do exist. Jelly tots are OK, for example. So I have no idea if she would be ill if she ate gelatine.