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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBUto wonder why someone openly stared at my kids for over ten minutes?

64 replies

sickofdramaqueens · 24/07/2011 21:33

She obviously didn't find them attractive but they were clean and quiet and siting down nicely so why????

I even went over to them after five mins looked at her and asked her to stop staring but no.... openly staring at them.

Why????????

Because I found it quite offensive as did my kids ...

OP posts:
worraliberty · 24/07/2011 21:34

Oh the irony of your nickname Grin

Faithless12 · 24/07/2011 21:36

Did you ask why?

TheMagnificentBathykolpian · 24/07/2011 21:37

What did she say to you when you went over to ask her to stop staring?

Original poster
sickofdramaqueens · 24/07/2011 21:37

i can see you have busted me as on of those who has a hand wringing nervous breakdown over every little situation....

How very perceptive of you Grin

OP posts:
cookcleanerchaufferetc · 24/07/2011 21:37

Where were you?

hocuspontas · 24/07/2011 21:38

Blimey, looking at people is an offence now? Shock

raffle · 24/07/2011 21:38

How could any of us possibly know the answer to that?

Taghain · 24/07/2011 21:39

because she found them interesting?
I sometimes find myself watching people for no particular reason, just observing. I guess it could be disconcerting if it was noticed.

Original poster
sickofdramaqueens · 24/07/2011 21:39

I think she was probably from a different culture? She didn't say anything bathy. She might just have been at at them behaving Wink

OP posts:
Onemorning · 24/07/2011 21:40

Perhaps they reminded her of someone else? Or didn't realise she was staring? Or didn't realise it was rude?

marriedinwhite · 24/07/2011 21:41

I could barely take my eyes off two of the most darling little girls in Waitrose this morning. They were absolutely adorable and had I not been in a huge hurry I would have told their mother so. I hope people don't go round thinking I'm some sort of nutter because a child or two were so delightful they engaged my admiration.

hocuspontas · 24/07/2011 21:41

I go into a daydream sometimes, couldn't tell you what I was looking at....

mycatsaysach · 24/07/2011 21:41

be flattered

i always am if anyone looks at me or my dcs

spiderpig8 · 24/07/2011 21:43

I think you need to tell us something of the context
Also to know she was looking at them for 10 minutes, you must have been watching her too, mustn't you?

Original poster
sickofdramaqueens · 24/07/2011 21:44

Ok just wondering ....

OP posts:
DogsBestFriend · 24/07/2011 21:45

Where were you? What were you doing?

Detail, it's all in the detail! :)

Serenitysutton · 24/07/2011 21:48

Someone staredat your children for 10 whole mins- 5 after you asked her to stop- and you didn't remove them? Yabu. Even I wouldn't sit being stared at by some freakoid for 10 minutes

exoticfruits · 24/07/2011 21:49

Did she even know she was looking? Maybe she was 'miles away'. Even if she was, I don't see the harm. I like having a coffee on my own and people watching.

Original poster
sickofdramaqueens · 24/07/2011 21:50

I should have said the context was she was looking at them as if she really really did not like them, but they didn't speak and were not being naughty. She didn't smile at all it was quite intimidating otherwise i would not have mentioned it.

OP posts:
TheMagnificentBathykolpian · 24/07/2011 21:54

So you went over, asked her to stop staring at them and she said nothing to you? Not one word in reply?

Did she just stare at you then?

Do you think perhaps she didn't understand you?

Or maybe she has mental health issues or learning difficulties?

Staring directly at someone for 10 minutes isn't really socially acceptable behaviour.

Watching children in the park, watching them play, smile on your face, enjoying watching children having fun - that's normal.

Staring silently for 10 minutes and not uttering a word when someone comes over to speak to you about it is not what you would normally expect someone to do.

WhoseGotMyEyebrows · 24/07/2011 21:55

So she was giving them evils?! Eeeek that sounds creepy. Where were you? Could you not leave? She might have been ill?

MynameisnotEarl · 24/07/2011 21:55

"Freakoid"? for looking at children?

I love looking at children - watching them playing, eating, chatting. They're lovely and they're fascinating. Maybe this "freakoid" was feeling a bit like I do when I see children - sad that mine have grown up and I'll never get that time back when they were adorable little people.

Why didn't you just engage her in conversation OP?

You think it's rude to look, but you were very rude to this woman - why couldn't you have engaged her in conversation? Why do you think she didn't find them attractive? And why on earth were you offended?

DogsBestFriend · 24/07/2011 21:59

Okaaay... is it sort of explainable? As in, was it at, for example, a restaurant where you might not generally expect children to be IYSWIM, regardless of how wrong she may have been for viewing it that way?

SnapesPlaything · 24/07/2011 22:03

Hmm at people thinking this is normal, ten minutes is a long time, I also watch children sometimes when playing/on the bus etc but with a smile. Giving the evil eye for ten whole minutes especially after being challenged is really weird IMO

BeerTricksPotter · 24/07/2011 22:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.