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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DD has gone to guide camp, for a whole week, and I miss her.

75 replies

ExitPursuedByAGryffin · 24/07/2011 16:01

Come reassure me that she will be fine.

No mobile phones allowed so I cannot speak to her.

Chemical toilets (which they will have to empty).

No showers (they are going to make one ffs).

I thought it sounded great when I first found about it, but now I simply cannot believe that I will have no contact with her for a WHOLE WEEK.

She is 11 and my one and only PFB.

Wail.

OP posts:
traceybeaker · 24/07/2011 16:04

I feel your pain. My son went on a two night activity hols two weeks ago.

I missed him but enjoyed the tv not being on lol.

She will be fine but you know that really, also this was the firs time my son did a sleep away isit your dd first time?

cardibach · 24/07/2011 16:06

She will be fine.

There you wanted to be reassured! It is entirely reasonable that you miss her, but you are being a good parent by allowing her to start to gain independence from you. It wouldn't be very reassuring if I pointed out that she will get more independent now and will be away/out more often, so i won't Wink.

You need to do things you couldn't do if she were at home - go and get some sort of pampering treatment, meet friends, stay out late, whatever you fancy. Make it a positive.

My gran said you should give your children roots nd wings. This is the wings part - it's hard but worthwhile. And she'll love the home made shower and heaving with her friends over the chemical toilets! Kids are odd.

Hassled · 24/07/2011 16:08

I was a complete wuss last week because DC3 went away for a whole 3 nights - and he was in a hotel with running water and proper loos, and he had his mobile.

So no wonder you're having a bit of a moment - is there an emergency mobile number you could text asking for reassurance? I'm sure the leader wouldn't mind and I'm sure you wouldn't be the only parent doing that. It'll make you feel better, I'm sure.

And yes, she will be fine. If she wasn't fine they'd have contacted you. No news is good news.

Original poster
ExitPursuedByAGryffin · 24/07/2011 16:10

Nooo - she did France with school last year, but that was only 4 days. I think it is the whole week that is getting to me. Monday to Friday would not have been too bad, but Saturday to Saturday seems like such a long time. My DH and I have a bet going that she will be home by Tuesday Grin. I really hope she sticks it out for her sake (although she did ask if she could have £30 if she stayed for the week Hmm.

She is just so bloody hopeless at finding stuff or organising things - the list of stuff to take was enormous and I know she won't know where half of it is as to my shame I packed for her, which I realise now was a massive mistake.

At least the forecast for the week is good ......

OP posts:
Andrewofgg · 24/07/2011 16:12

We have all been there and we all get over it. Enjoy the peace!

Original poster
ExitPursuedByAGryffin · 24/07/2011 16:13

xposts - thanks all. Yes I have the leaders mobile number but am trying to hold off texting as I don't want to upset DD by being clingy.

Agree that no news is good news.

At least I can mumsnet without any guilt that I should be playing top trumps with her.

I felt guilty buying cornish ice cream today as she is not hear to enjoy it.

Is this what it will be like when she goes to Uni?

OP posts:
LynetteScavo · 24/07/2011 16:19

Of course she will be fine (and have a brilliant time!)

DS1 went away for 3 nights a while ago, and I was so stressed about it I became ill.

You have my sympathy.It's hard, isn't it? Sad

cardibach · 24/07/2011 16:20

Mine's 15 and I can see that by the time she goes to Uni I won't notice as I'll be so used to her being out! Barely see here these days as she is out with friends, out on the beach, staying at friends, friends staying here and holed up in bedroom...

Original poster
ExitPursuedByAGryffin · 24/07/2011 16:21

There you go you see - 3 nights - this is 7! Although 6 now Grin I got no bloody sleep at all last night as I lay there worrying about her.

OP posts:
CurrySpice · 24/07/2011 16:22

Mine went away yesterday and I have already forgotten her I haven't heard from her either Wink

I miss her too but she will be having a brilliant time and I'm sure yours will too. Make the most of your child-free time. Sadly I still have DD2 here Wink :o

Original poster
ExitPursuedByAGryffin · 24/07/2011 16:23

She does go out a lot (and I worry about her then as well - I am a worrier obviously) - it is the lack of her presence coming and going and arguing and watching telly and leaving the lights on, and just not being able to speak to her. At all. Wail again.

OP posts:
MindtheGappp · 24/07/2011 16:24

She'll have a great time.

Time for you to detox her room.

CurrySpice · 24/07/2011 16:28

Would you like me to tell you to get a grip exit?

MaureenMLove · 24/07/2011 16:32

She will have an absolute ball and it'll be the making of her! Guiding and Scouting is the best fun a pre-teen or teenager can have. And as an insider (am a Guider) I can reassure you that every, single eventuality that you can think of, will have been covered!

If it makes you feel any better, I will be packing my PFB and only child, off to World Scout Jamboree in Sweden tomorrow morning, for almost 3 weeks! Shock

Original poster
ExitPursuedByAGryffin · 24/07/2011 16:38

3 weeks Mo - Eek. Here have a Wine

Detoxing her room, and her playroom, are top of the agenda for Monday morning.

OP posts:
ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 24/07/2011 16:40
Envy
MaureenMLove · 24/07/2011 16:53

Thanks, but I've already got one! Blush

It'll be fine. I'm usually really laid back about her trips, but this one is a little bit different! She is almost 16 though, so we've had plenty of pratice!

Just a word of warning though, if your DD is heavily into Guiding and she gets invited to selection for it, it's in Japan! At least DD is only in Sweden! Grin

Original poster
ExitPursuedByAGryffin · 24/07/2011 16:59

Japan Shock

OP posts:
MaureenMLove · 24/07/2011 17:06

LOL!! It's only every 4 years though, so the next one is 2015 and she'll be 15 by then and it'll be fine!

Guides are invited btw, so don't think you've got away with it! Grin

prudaloo · 24/07/2011 20:29

Don't blame you at all! My twins went away for five days when they were in year 3, camping, river stuff etc with school. I was so bereft that I made DH drive down to where they were, about 100 miles, so that I could watch from a nearby bridge. Luckily, we were not spotted!
And yes, it was BAD when they went to Uni, I was so lonely. But before you know it, they are home again with washing, needing food...

Original poster
ExitPursuedByAGryffin · 25/07/2011 10:46

Another sleepless night...........

OP posts:
CurrySpice · 25/07/2011 11:35

Why Exit? What is that achieving? I am going to tell you to get a grip now! :o

kizzie · 25/07/2011 12:28

Exit ive just started virtually identical thread in chat. My DS 12 but same circumstances.

I think its the no contact that feels so strange.

DartsRus · 25/07/2011 12:31

My dd is going to Guide camp this Saturday coming, also for a whole week. she's also 11.

They'll have showers there, but no running water, so DD has a load of wet wipes, to keep her clean. She'll love it! Grin

I'll miss her more than she will miss me. Also no mobiles, but an emergency contact number. She will have access to emails, up to about the Thursday.

DS is envious, but he's starting cubs in Sept and will get his turn sometime.

mankyminks · 25/07/2011 12:44

My DS is just 11 and off for two weeks to Croatia with Scouts..... Yes I will find it hard but I thought it would do him the world of good just before he goes to secondary school and will be expected to be a lot more self sufficient than he is at the moment. He will pack his own bag,under my supervision,with the help of a list and we will be able to keep in touch through a web blog. I worry more about the actual travelling there and back (24hrs on a coach) than anything else but as was mentioned before you need to give them wings as well as roots. I totally trust the people he is going with and he will have the time of his life.