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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think there should be some form of financial support for single people?

142 replies

ButWhyIsTheGinGone · 23/07/2011 16:00

It's the last week before pay day and yet again I am almost penniless. I am in the early stages of a decent career - I earn 25k at the mo, soon to go up to 27k. Due to deductions (pension, student loan, NI, tax, etc) I only take home £1450/month. Not terrible.

I just can't believe how little my pay stretches. I live in a small one bed house, don't have any expensive hobbies, children or drug habits. Yet most months I seem to have to borrow £30 or so from my mum to get through the last week. I appreciate this so much, but it's kind of shameful at the age of 26 to go cap in hand to your mum...

It seems that people with children get at least some kind of support for their lifestyle choices, and I'm certainly not saying they don't deserve it, but I genuinely think people who live alone get overlooked when it comes to this kind of help.

If I had a partner who lived with me, I could instantly halve rent, CT, utilities... I would be rolling in it! But the fact I choose to be alone means I have to struggle. I am probably BU, but sometimes it feels like so much help is available for parents - I have a friend who works about a third of the hours I do and earns significantly less... but does to her tax credits, child benefit, etc she's better off than me. It's just a bit depressing some times.

I know I obviously don't have the massive expenses that having children incurs.... oh and I hope I'm not offending anyone. Although I don't have or want kids I'm not trying to sound "childfree so I'm superior to you" kind of thing. Just feeling a bit morose.

If you've successfully struggled through my ramblings, thank you!

OP posts:
PonceyMcPonce · 23/07/2011 16:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TidyDancer · 23/07/2011 16:02

I happen to think YANBU tbh. Single people seem to pay massive amounts into 'the system' for what is a much smaller return than many other groups in society. It is more expensive to be single than almost any other state.

GypsyMoth · 23/07/2011 16:03

why not downsize? do you need to rent a house? at your age i was flat sharing and renting a room!

ImperialBlether · 23/07/2011 16:03

It is really hard managing on your own. When my ex left, we were automatically £2000 down per month and still had the same living expenses, apart from his clothes, car and food.

Would you consider living with someone in a flat share type of thing?

NearlyHeadlessnickelbabe · 23/07/2011 16:04

you need to make a budget.

get a book, write out exactly what you spend and on what (save receipts - write it down in your book every time you spend anything)
work out what category all your purchases fall into (say, food, utlities, rent, going out, etc)
then work out what you need to spend and what you don't.

say you go to the supermarket and put loads of ready meals in your basket - you don't need to - one or two a week for a treat, and get fresh veg etc and make your own dinners.
say you go to the pub with your friends and you get a takeaway at the end of the night. eatwell before yo ugo out and plan a snack for when yo uget back. even something like not havingthat extra glass of wine can save you a couple of quid.

TheMagnificentBathykolpian · 23/07/2011 16:05

If you can't manage on nearly 1500 a month, then you need to take a look at where your money is going.

When I was a single person, living on my own, I was bringing home £800 a month and living just fine.

This is not me having a go at you, just advising you to take control of your finances. Look at your expediture. See where your money is going.

NearlyHeadlessnickelbabe · 23/07/2011 16:06

yy to those who say live in a houseshare, or even rent a flat rather than a house (it can save you a bit, espcially if you go to one with no garden etc)

QueenofDreams · 23/07/2011 16:06

Well, my DP earns 23k. We have two children. I have been trying to find work, but no luck so far. So you, on 2k more than we have would be entitled to financial help, but we wouldn't?

On top of this, I'm not entitled to any unemployment benefits because I have a partner who works full time. We're getting gradually deeper into debt.

Original poster
ButWhyIsTheGinGone · 23/07/2011 16:08

The flat share is a possiblity, but I actually don't think I would save that much - my rent is £450 and round here I genuinely think I would struggle to find much for less than that... The frustrating thing is I CAN afford to live here... JUST.

It jsut becomes very frustrating economising on EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME. I only ever shop at places like Store 21 for clothes and I am Aldi's best customer. :)

I DO know I'm lucky, however, and I know we're all having to cut back in these times. Just needed to vent a bit. TidyDancer, thank you for your post - I appreciate your points.

OP posts:
LineRunner · 23/07/2011 16:10

Good advice above. Living on your own as a single is just expensive. In my single years I was only once able to afford my own one-bedroom flat; most of the time I was sharing, and twice in London I was lodging simply so I could save up a bit of money.

Katisha · 23/07/2011 16:10

ANd have a look at moneysavingexpert sie, which shows you how to budget.

HEre

vickibee · 23/07/2011 16:11

are you claiming the 25 % reduction you are entitled to on the council tax.?

I also agree that YANBU - i had the same thoughts pre children.

Are you living in a very expensive area? renting?

Karstan · 23/07/2011 16:11

Your money must be going somewhere, like someone else said make a spreadsheet and keep track.

Our 'fixed' expenses come to less than 1200 pounds (rent, food, heat, water, petrol, car, ctax etc.) for two of us so on the face of it I think you should be able to manage on the take home you are getting. Whilst I generally agree with your premise that there should be some form of financial support for single people (and I expect there already is in terms of housing benefit, ctax reduction) I don't think you fall into that group - so sorry YABU

Original poster
ButWhyIsTheGinGone · 23/07/2011 16:12

NearlyHeadless you are quite right about the budget, I don't do it on paper, but I do try to be careful with groceries. I don't buy expensive ready meals but cook from scratch and tend to freeze stuff. However, you are right - it's obviously going somewhere so I do need to take a close look.

QueenofDreams I'm sorry if I've offended you, my comments weren't intended to upset anyone in a worse situation than me, but were rather me being frustrated at my own situation.

OP posts:
LilBB · 23/07/2011 16:12

Child benefits arent to maintain a lifestyle they are stop child poverty and to help people return to work. There are benefits for childless people, working tax credits, but you will be deemed to earn too much for this. There are lots of benefits that people get without having children when their circumstances deem it necessary so don't just jump on parents for claiming.

We have two incomes and a child but sometimes we need to borrow a bit of money when we have a few days left until pay day.

Karstan · 23/07/2011 16:13

Even more so now you've revealed you have 1000 pounds AFTER your rent is paid.

valiumredhead · 23/07/2011 16:13

If you can't manage on nearly 1500 a month, then you need to take a look at where your money is going.

Surely that completely depends where you live/how much rent or mortgage is?

LilBB · 23/07/2011 16:14

Just to add there is a council tax reduction if you live alone. Also don't automatically assume bills halve with two adults. Rent does but the rest may well increase, more so if you have children.

valiumredhead · 23/07/2011 16:14

Oh - sorry Xposted - please ignore my last post! Grin

GypsyMoth · 23/07/2011 16:15

utilities will be way less in a flatshare

Original poster
ButWhyIsTheGinGone · 23/07/2011 16:16

My fixed expenses are about £1000 - Rent, CT, utilities, Car insurance, Union fees, TV licence, diesel.

The rest is for groceries and leisure. I get paid on friday and do the writing down thing - it could possibly depress me further, but I know I need to manage better.
linerunner you mention how difficult it was for you in your single years. Thing is.... I'm not sure I want a partner, I genuinely love being on my own .... and I wouldn't want to flat share forever.

OP posts:
SkelleyBones · 23/07/2011 16:17

The point is if you want to you can work overtime or take a 2nd bar job which is what I did as a single person, that option isn't available when you have children.
You'll look back at laugh at this in years to come, you have so much money it's not funny compared to most families and only yourself to think of.

MrsKravitz · 23/07/2011 16:17

What on earth are you spending your money on. I run a home on just slightly over that and have a child and manage to save Confused

MumblingRagDoll · 23/07/2011 16:17

Her rent is £450 valium say council tax is 100 or so....then utilities..she should still be ok off.

Do you go out much OP? My mates dont but realised they were spending abot 80 pounds on alcohol every month.

twinklypearls · 23/07/2011 16:17

You get a council tax reduction. As a single teacher - so earning similar money to you I always had to live like a student in a house share, I accepted that and did not want a hand out from the state.

We are a few days from getting money and we have about £3 to spend until Tuesday. That is just the way life is sometimes.