Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think there should be some form of financial support for single people?

142 replies

ButWhyIsTheGinGone · 23/07/2011 16:00

It's the last week before pay day and yet again I am almost penniless. I am in the early stages of a decent career - I earn 25k at the mo, soon to go up to 27k. Due to deductions (pension, student loan, NI, tax, etc) I only take home £1450/month. Not terrible.

I just can't believe how little my pay stretches. I live in a small one bed house, don't have any expensive hobbies, children or drug habits. Yet most months I seem to have to borrow £30 or so from my mum to get through the last week. I appreciate this so much, but it's kind of shameful at the age of 26 to go cap in hand to your mum...

It seems that people with children get at least some kind of support for their lifestyle choices, and I'm certainly not saying they don't deserve it, but I genuinely think people who live alone get overlooked when it comes to this kind of help.

If I had a partner who lived with me, I could instantly halve rent, CT, utilities... I would be rolling in it! But the fact I choose to be alone means I have to struggle. I am probably BU, but sometimes it feels like so much help is available for parents - I have a friend who works about a third of the hours I do and earns significantly less... but does to her tax credits, child benefit, etc she's better off than me. It's just a bit depressing some times.

I know I obviously don't have the massive expenses that having children incurs.... oh and I hope I'm not offending anyone. Although I don't have or want kids I'm not trying to sound "childfree so I'm superior to you" kind of thing. Just feeling a bit morose.

If you've successfully struggled through my ramblings, thank you!

OP posts:
activate · 23/07/2011 16:52

many do Mrs Kravitz

some take tutoring jobs too or start out of hours clubs

LRDTheFeministNutcase · 23/07/2011 16:53

Ah, I see altinkum, thanks. I didn't read her that way, but tone is hard to interpret online.

I do think it is a bit tactless but I can see why the OP might be feeling bad - I know I do pretty well, as a childless person, with what DH and I earn. But if I speak to my mum or dad, they don't understand and see me as a bit of a failure/struggling, because things were so different in their generation.

I am also a bit confused by the gin's budgeting, and agree she needs to sit down and account for the pennies some time - there must be something that is absolutely swallowing that money! Maybe electricity bill is too high?

Original poster
ButWhyIsTheGinGone · 23/07/2011 16:54

In past years I have taught English to international students at a summer school not far from me to earn extra cash through summer, but sadly couldn't this year as they have had to cut right back due to poor uptake.
I am more than happy to so some extra work this summer, especially if it means getting out of the house!

OP posts:
MrsKravitz · 23/07/2011 16:54

Oh right, didnt know that :)

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 23/07/2011 16:55

I didn't have any problem with your posts, GinGone, I didn't think they were rude. Children are a lifestyle choice, so are pets, holidays and any other choices we have.

Peppapig... Good budgeting! Grin

fireblademum · 23/07/2011 16:55

i manage 3 of us, 2 cars (rural area so necessary) a mortgage costing more than your rent, and other house related repayments on less than you get op. not showing off, btw its shit having bugger all money, but if you trim expenditure accordingly it can be done.
i find sometimes focussing on what could happen that will make it better helps:

Firstly, budget aggressively, take control of what you are spending. next, well your repayments will be complete in a few months, so a bit more money to look forward to when you get it, start stashing it away for a rainy day. third look for somewhere cheaper you might not find it - but then you might find (as i did when i was happily single and in your situation) someone who wants a caretaker tenant for a peppercorn rent. Fourth look at how you can bring more in, bar job, studying for additional qualifications so you can climb in your profession, ebaying stuff?
even just pondering those things will make you feel brighter

good luck

twinklypearls · 23/07/2011 16:56

I do think life is tough for most people at the moment and therefore YANBU to moan. DP and I are really struggling at the moment despite one of us being a HRT.

activate · 23/07/2011 16:57

Also most single, childless people starting out on their career house or flatshare rather than live on their own - that way they reap the benefits the OP is complaining about missing out on

I apologised for getting riled by the OP - I think there is an outrageous sense of entitlement among some generations and the OP smacked of that (benefits) - on the flip side I also know that economically it's very hard - it comes down to lifestyle choices and it is choices - making it work as a single person on the average UK family household income should not be impossible

Original poster
ButWhyIsTheGinGone · 23/07/2011 16:58

next, well your repayments will be complete in a few months, so a bit more money to look forward to when you get it
Thanks, fireblademum! Yes, I will be £200/month when that's sorted but I won;t be benefitting from it just yet - want to get rid of my overdraft. It's currently free, but I hate it. I'm so cross with myself for the overdraft and loan, but one thing I feel proud of at the moment is that Im actually gettting rod of them. I will be debt-free (apart from student loan!) in not too long at all! :-D

OP posts:
altinkum · 23/07/2011 17:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheMitfordsMaid · 23/07/2011 17:03

When I was single, with no dependents, I had a mortgage etc on less take-home and used to give myself £50 a week to feed, clothe and transport myself around. This included my Saturday night out and 300 mile trips once a fortnight to see my then boyfriend. I was incredibly strict with myself, but it was such a useful life lesson.

LoveBeingAbleToNamechange · 23/07/2011 17:04

Op you do need to look seriously at what you are spending your money on and accept the cost of some things. Look at some of the families from your school, do they earn more/less than you?

NearlyHeadlessnickelbabe · 23/07/2011 17:05

I don't get why Gin is now being jumped on for having a moan.
stop it, now, please.

She has asked for help, and that's what she should get.
budgetting is actually quite hard if you've never done it before.

Gin - monthly directdebit is usually the cheapest and easiest way to pay bills, especially if you know you have a fixed income, as you do.
make sure you look at your year's electricity and gas bills and do a search for the best deal at the moment (the reason you look at the year is because you need to know exactly how much you're using in the year, so that you can get a realistic price from new suppliers - not sign up a cheap one then find they put the bill up after 3 months Hmm ) - you can get discounts for gettign your gas and elec from the same company, but don't do that automatically, because IME, quite often the difference in savings can be greater if you get your gas and elec from different companies. (ie do a search for combined, and then both separately)

you can't do a lot about water, but if you're on your own, it will be cheaper to go on a meter.
TV/entertainment etc - get a basic tv licence and freeview, that'll give you plenty to watch but you won't be paying anymore money for extras.
look for deals on your broadband - can you get it cheaper than BT for example if you are with them - can phone and BB be combined to give you a better deal? (don't underestimate the power of tv and internet for entertainment - it's cheaper to do that with a glass of coke at the end of the evening than go to the pub)

there are loads of places you can save, but you do need to work out how much you're spending first.
the golden question is "do i need it or do i want it?"

youngwomanwholivesinashoe · 23/07/2011 17:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NearlyHeadlessnickelbabe · 23/07/2011 17:07

i didn't think it came across as that - it came across as "should i get help because I cannot afford the money i get now?"
i read it at face value.

DoMeDon · 23/07/2011 17:18

YABU - single people have options to save money on their lifestyle and do not deserve financial help. From what I read you have £450pm to live on for food and leisure. That's a reasonable amount of money -enough for food/nights out.

Like you say you choose to live alone - you make choices, like all of us. FWIW when I lived alone I had to pay my mortgage and bills on less take home than you with much less disposable income. I really found it a struggle and sometimes had no money for food at the end of the month - I accepted it as my choice though.

fireblademum · 23/07/2011 19:45

have you actually worked out where the money is going?
is it booze, fun stuff, fuel?

if you know where it is going at least you stand a chance of stemming the flow!
or at least deciding what you can live without

skybluepearl · 23/07/2011 19:50

where does your money go? have you thought about flat sharing? i had about the same income pre kids and thought i was skint too. then i got married and became a SHAM and i realised just how well off i was before.

Ivortheengine8 · 23/07/2011 19:52

What about couples who only have one income? We have one dd and one on the way and we live (all of us) off my husband's income. Everything,including all the childrens stuff comes out of that. Just because many couples have two incomes coming in many don't because they simply can't afford childcare.
Sorry, YABU

Ivortheengine8 · 23/07/2011 19:56

...and at 26 I was earning a lot less than you and had a lot of debt from uni etc. Yes I struggled big time, but I never thought I would have it all handed to me on a plate at such a young age. My dad was still training to be a Dr at that age and had my mum and twin sons to look after. They lived in a tiny flat. It was only after he had been working full time for a few years he could afford any kind of mortgage. My mum never worked and we are five kids.

RitaMorgan · 23/07/2011 20:03

It does sound like you have more than enough money but aren't managing it very well. The average family income is only a little higher than yours.

You have more money left over after rent and bills than we do, and I manage to feed and clothe two adults and a child and don't have to borrow any money from my mum to do it.

beanlet · 23/07/2011 20:42

Do you really need to drive? Do you need a TV? Is your union as useless as mine (I've just left mine for financial reasons)? None of these are essential. You could also flatshare.

x2boys · 24/07/2011 13:42

We have two incomes coming in child benefit of 133 [ two children ] and 40 in childtaxcredits two days before i get paid and we have nothing left its the high cost of living these days and i dont think 450 pounds isa lot to feed yourself and have asocial life all those who think you should cut back need to get agrip your young have no responsibilities do a hard job your entitled to a social life

juneybean · 24/07/2011 13:45

Single people who work 30 hours or more can apply for working tax credits I think ?

youngwomanwholivesinashoe · 24/07/2011 13:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.