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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think there should be some form of financial support for single people?

142 replies

ButWhyIsTheGinGone · 23/07/2011 16:00

It's the last week before pay day and yet again I am almost penniless. I am in the early stages of a decent career - I earn 25k at the mo, soon to go up to 27k. Due to deductions (pension, student loan, NI, tax, etc) I only take home £1450/month. Not terrible.

I just can't believe how little my pay stretches. I live in a small one bed house, don't have any expensive hobbies, children or drug habits. Yet most months I seem to have to borrow £30 or so from my mum to get through the last week. I appreciate this so much, but it's kind of shameful at the age of 26 to go cap in hand to your mum...

It seems that people with children get at least some kind of support for their lifestyle choices, and I'm certainly not saying they don't deserve it, but I genuinely think people who live alone get overlooked when it comes to this kind of help.

If I had a partner who lived with me, I could instantly halve rent, CT, utilities... I would be rolling in it! But the fact I choose to be alone means I have to struggle. I am probably BU, but sometimes it feels like so much help is available for parents - I have a friend who works about a third of the hours I do and earns significantly less... but does to her tax credits, child benefit, etc she's better off than me. It's just a bit depressing some times.

I know I obviously don't have the massive expenses that having children incurs.... oh and I hope I'm not offending anyone. Although I don't have or want kids I'm not trying to sound "childfree so I'm superior to you" kind of thing. Just feeling a bit morose.

If you've successfully struggled through my ramblings, thank you!

OP posts:

MrsKravitz · 23/07/2011 16:18

Oops just saw above. I have a lowish mortgage at £280pm so that helps

Original poster

ButWhyIsTheGinGone · 23/07/2011 16:18

oops - forgot to add loan payment to direct debits. I accept it was my foolishness to get a loan when I was younger, but am paying it back and will have that out of the way in 9 months time!

OP posts:

NerfHerder · 23/07/2011 16:19

You have 1000 clear pm after rent?

Many people manage on less, and they have families too. Everyone I know house shared at that age.

MrsKravitz · 23/07/2011 16:19

union fees cant be much?

Original poster

ButWhyIsTheGinGone · 23/07/2011 16:19

Oh and thank you to all who mentioned the CT reduction - I do get that which knocks my payment down to 80/month or so.

OP posts:

MumblingRagDoll · 23/07/2011 16:19

Running a car is a killer. So basically you hav e 450 a month for socialising and food and clothes..which is around 100 a week....it should be loads! How much is yur grocery shop per week?

MumblingRagDoll · 23/07/2011 16:20

Not a £1000 nerf £450

TheMagnificentBathykolpian · 23/07/2011 16:20

Are you shopping around for the best deals on insurance and utilities? You can save a few hundred pounds that way!

You not only need to write down what you are spending, but you need to write down what you WILL spend. You need a budget. I have a spreadsheet that is an 18 month cashflow forecast. I know where every penny is going! If something comes up, I know how I can jiggle things about to pay for it.

If you are having to go cap in hand to your mum every month, you are overspending and are not in control of your finances.

It may be that you have to cut back that £30 to get back on track!

Sadly, this is life. You can't spend what you don't have.

Face it head on. You'll feel better for it in the long run.

LRDTheFeministNutcase · 23/07/2011 16:20

If you are really struggling (though I can't see how, you bring home more than DH and me together), maybe do without the TV license and see about some cheaper leisure activities?

I don't really see why you need financial support - surely that should be for people who are actually struggling? People with children get it because those children will grow up to pay the taxes that will look after all of us in old age; people who can't get a job or are disabled get money because they would earn if they could.

WhereYouLeftIt · 23/07/2011 16:20

In my age group it was normal to either rent a room, flatshare, or, if you bought, to rent out a room to a lodger to be able to meet the mortgage.

But on your salary, unless you live in a very expensive part of the country with extortionate housing costs, you should be able to manage, albeit frugally.

Keep a diary for a couple of months, write down where every penny goes. EVERY PENNY. I did this in my early twenties, it really identified where the money was going and what could be most easily trimmed.

MumblingRagDoll · 23/07/2011 16:22

LRD is right....financial help is for vulnerable people...a single, child free woman with her health is not priority for financial support.

MrsKravitz · 23/07/2011 16:23

Im really lost as to why you cant manage. I know my mortgage is lower than your rent but I manage. You need to really look at where its all going.

QueenofDreams · 23/07/2011 16:23

Not offended OP, simply pointing out that your situation isn't really that bad. You have £450 left each month after your fixed cots for groceries and leisure. Well we aren't managing to cover our fixed costs even. You simply need to manage your money better.

I still think YABU. You don't NEED a benefit. you are earning enough money to house and feed yourself with some left over for leisure too. Not meaning to seem nasty at all, I guess it's just a matter of perspective. As someone else said if you do end up having kids, you will look back at this and laugh :)

Original poster

ButWhyIsTheGinGone · 23/07/2011 16:23

The point is if you want to you can work overtime or take a 2nd bar job which is what I did as a single person, that option isn't available when you have children.
You'll look back at laugh at this in years to come, you have so much money it's not funny compared to most families and only yourself to think of.
Thank you SkellyBones, I would actually love a bar job!
WRT your second comment about having lots of money, I'm getting this from people's responses and I an genuinely sorry if I have pissed anyone off who is in a worse position to me. It really and truly wasn't my intent. I just needed a moan - obviously by the looks of things I'm in a fortunate enough position where I can do something about it. Thanks to people who have offered advice.

OP posts:

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 23/07/2011 16:25

OP... It can be difficult, making ends meet as a single person. I do sympathise and it would be nice if there was some kind of financial 'nod' to shoe who are supporting themselves. The money is there to support others, so there ought to be something the working/ single/no kids sector too.

Have you considered renting out a room in your house to a friend, or can't you do that under the terms of your rental agreement?

Original poster

ButWhyIsTheGinGone · 23/07/2011 16:26

Oh finally, the financial support thing was probably an ill-thought-out comment resulting from my stewing around the house all day felling pissed off with myself. Feel silly having posted that actually when there are obviously those who do need it.

OP posts:

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 23/07/2011 16:26

You will be hammered on tax if you take a second job, GinGone... :(

Original poster

ButWhyIsTheGinGone · 23/07/2011 16:27

It's only a one bed house, LyingWitch, otherwise that would be a great idea!

OP posts:

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 23/07/2011 16:28

You don't need to apologise; it would be a far better thing for the government if they incentivised young people starting out to work and become independent before starting families. It would be a lot cheaper too.

LRDTheFeministNutcase · 23/07/2011 16:28

ButWhy - I can see why it's depressing. You're my age, and I don't know what your mum is like (nice if she lets you borrow I guess! ), but my parents can get me pretty down. They bought a first house for 14k, sold it a few years later for much more, never had student debt, etc. etc. It can feel a bit depressing in contrast just because things like houses and student loans are so much more of an issue for our generation than for theirs.

FWIW, I think a lot of Europeans are surprised by the British stigma against renting, and think we are strange that buying a house is considered such an important thing - knowing that makes me feel better about not being in the same financial position my parents were at my age.

SkelleyBones · 23/07/2011 16:29

I'm not pissed off with you, but I do think you need to trim your outgoings or earn more it's as simple as that.
I used to earn a ridiculous amount of money when I worked abroad but still worked in a club on Friday and Saturday night because I didn't know anyone so that was my social life (sad I know) and yes you pay 40% tax but you keep 60% and more to the point you can't be spending money because you are too busy earning it.

stupefy · 23/07/2011 16:29

If you can't live on £450 a month after your bills are paid you need to rain yourself in a bit!

activate · 23/07/2011 16:29

Nothing wrong with being a single parent but whinging about it when it is a choice you have taken, rather than something that life has foisted upon you is unreasonable.

the father should contribute more or you should get another job or you should continue to borrow from loving family members but to demand the state funds it is not appropriate

Original poster

ButWhyIsTheGinGone · 23/07/2011 16:31

*Nothing wrong with being a single parent but whinging about it when it is a choice you have taken, rather than something that life has foisted upon you is unreasonable.

the father should contribute more or you should get another job or you should continue to borrow from loving family members but to demand the state funds it is not appropriate*

Erm... I am not a parent to anyone...

OP posts:

activate · 23/07/2011 16:34

then why are you moaning on a parenting forum?

get a 2nd job
rent out your house and take a room in someone else's

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